My husband always seems to put everyone else before me. We live abroad, and he has few friends because he struggles to make new ones. As parents, I make an effort to connect with other families so our children can have friends their own age. His friends only contact him when they need something—for example, to order something online using his membership or to ask him to pay for groceries or other expenses. Whenever I point out that they seem selfish or are taking advantage of him, he gets angry, shouts at me, and makes me feel like I'm the bad person. The same pattern exists with his family. I feel that they also take advantage of him, but if I say anything, he defends them and turns against me.What hurts me the most is the way he speaks to me. He uses deeply abusive and degrading words in arguments , calling me names like "lo**u aurat" and "ra**i" . After being with him for over a decade, standing by him through every hardship, raising our children, and supporting him emotionally, financially, and physically, I still feel like I have no value in his eyes. Over time, I've lost my emotional attachment to him. At this point, I'm simply focused on raising our children and giving them the best life I can. Life is hard
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💬 Comments (16)
He will only change in his old age, that's because to take care of him. So please care about u and ur kids best wishes 😊
Let him do what he wants as we loose peace of mind if we involve. Same to me in some time he listen to his brother I can't involve much if I say something he gets angry. So for internal peace i stop interfere
Mind your own business regarding his personal life. If helping makes him happy, just let he do it
He is a people pleaser. This is his way of seeking validation from people. This kind of men never change. You need to develop strategies to cope up with him. It’s important for your peace of mind. Otherwise you will keep looking at him for priority, love and respect all your life. He is incapable of giving all that to you. Sooner you understand it, better for you. Best is ignore him whenever or wherever you can. Focus on your own mental health and on the development of your children.
First of all, there are male versions of all the abuses he is using, you too should use them. Let him have a taste of his own medicine. Also men and women think differently, men are generally not misers when it comes to family and friends, there friendships exists like that , they don't calculate every penny like women. You should give him some space and quit nagging over small things, he is not your kid to raise up, just focus on wether he is fulfilling his duties as a father and husband and habe your own life. Repeat after me, your world doesn't revolves around your husband.
Better to stop interfering in his matter. Slowly he will release.
Start a diary "red book", noting how many times and time and date of verbal abuse... Make a monthly log, and start conveying to him and his family and friends, the log (not necessarily details). Slowly he will become so conscious that he will start counting it himself before he starts, And ask yourself and your child to write god's names x 1001 times for each verbal abuse, make it fun for your child too....paste this godly penance page in walls and kitchens across the home & outside (don't tell anybody, he will understand more than anybody else), wil start shaking the moment he enters house (aur ghali dega 7 janam mein?) , Creativity has no end....ppl keep grudging doing nothing bcoz they themself hv no love left for themselves nor the other!
Why do you think that they are using him? In relationships giving and taking or common. He can take care of himself. Don't involve too much.
That's verbal abuse. You need to start speaking to him in his own language. Also, start sending money to your parents or pretend to do it in front of him. Let him notice and confront you.
These kind of men marry because everyone got married without knowing how to build life with wife and children and make home as beautiful garden.....I can understand how deserted you feel...don't give up your self respect. That's important...rest all spending money for friends and relatives can be ignored ..he will learn through bitter lessons from them if they are misusing him
I think your husband has trauma from his family and friends, he has become a people pleaser, kindly either have a conversation or learn to ignore, people like him have a past history of trauma for sure, he needs therapy and healing, doesn't know how to create boundaries and say No
sad. is there a way out?
Make a distance with him temporarily. Seriously calling ur wife ra**i? Is this masculinity? Don't know how toxic and narcissistic man always get an innocent girl.
If he abuses file a complaint in police .. why are you giving him the opportunity to abuse you again and again.. tomorrow he will beat you ? You will crying again ? So go and file a police complaint which ever country you live
I don't understand this obsession of men of calling women randi! What satisfaction do they get by calling her so? Yes you called her a prostitute, now what? What next?
You know in India court didn't punish a woman for k!lling her husband because he called her "r@ndi" Your husband is a degenerate low life scumbag, I wish men like him get one of those b@dass women who cheat and k!ll these imbeciles and keep their money and everything.