Comments for Post #C27908

As they were always sweet so there’s no legit evidence that they instigated even your husband. I am not denying your suspicion either. But this situation could have been dealt differently. My advice would be whatever done is done. No need to carry any guilt. There will be chaos for few weeks but you should not get impacted or affected at all ( atleast on the outside you have to show this). Stick to your decision, don’t talk to them. Even when husband is speaking over call to them, don’t try to overhear anything, you ll listen half and will extrapolate other half. Just think what you have done is good for you and be in peace.

Picking up a fight only on the basis of doubts, without proper evidence will destroy the whole family.

They are sweet you show you are sweeter and stay vigilant from their next move,I think that will be the smartest approach

Please hv patience & be sweeter to them, genuinely & always. That's called maturity. Keep calm, always remain politically safe. Don't create a chaos yourself, don't offer them any chance to criticise or blame you for creating unnecessary disturbances in the family! Dealing with such things actually teaches us "duniyadari" ie. how to move forward successfully in this journey called "Life". That is the way to win their hearts, deep down they will realise their faults & one day they will be genuinely sweet & sincere towards you. Trust me. Once you have a child everything will automatically come under control.

A few things can be true at the same time, you can respect your in laws as elders and still refuse to tolerate behaviour that is damaging your marriage. You don't have to feel guilty simply because you finally spoke up. If their behaviour repeatedly created misunderstandings between you and your husband, staying silent forever would not necessarily have protected the relationship. The important thing is how the confrontation was handled and what happens from here. At the same time, accusations can easily turn into another family battle, especially when everyone remembers events differently. Rather than trying to prove who is right, the healthier approach is to set clear boundaries, your husband and you should make decisions about your marriage together, and neither side of the family should be allowed to create conflict between you. Also, your husband has an important role here. He shouldn't be put in a position where he has to choose between his parents and his wife. He needs to recognise problematic behaviour, communicate boundaries to his parents himself, and make sure outside interference doesn't repeatedly become a source of conflict in your marriage. So no, you didn't necessarily do wrong by speaking up. But going forward, focus less on exposing their hypocrisy and more on protecting your peace and your marriage. Boundaries are not disrespect, and being a good daughter in law doesn't mean silently accepting everything.

Typical women problems, they over think, and think wrongly or without facts, which is a crime as well.....bcoz in a subtle way thought is action itself, whatever time it takes, will take it's toll... Without evidence , you pained them....maybe that's their tendencies, vrittis, and one can't change nature....and had they been your own parents? Not denying they have issues too, they are not Raja Janak. But if they have been so sweet and held on to your 1001 flip-flops, what more can one do, despite themselves. Apologise immdtly and put their old poor physically weaker stage & mind to rest, else you will face worse times, you wil hv D-i-L too one day...

>>They always try to separate me and my husband from my parents. If they have any problems with my parents why couldn’t they talk to them directly rather than talking behind our backs all the time >> It's pretty clear by now that 'me & my spouse & my parents' is the recipe for disaster for both the genders. So better keep it me & my spouse me & my parents me & my siblings Don't mix incompatible ingredients with each other.

Why wives always feel that MIL and et al are trying to separate their own son and DIL. Does any MIL or FIL feel happy if they see their son suffering? Removing this prejudice from women's mind will save many a marriage

No thing called ideal daughter in law it has two way street. They are not ideal parents in law how can they expect other to be ideal goid u said what wrong u have to voice out .u should tell to ur husband too. You people are not kids but matured adult parents should not keep interfering and when exposed cry victim classical attribute don't fall for it

Seen that, suffered that . Such parents make the son believe that the problem is you & your parents while it's they who are the problem. In laws are in laws . Be legal with them - be bookish in filling in your duties and that's it, don't trust , just play safe.. honesty will only mess your life .

Happened in my life me and my wife have separated but not divorced. Don't let it go till there, I did not hear my wife out, always sided with my parents, now have paid the price. So first talk it out with husband and in-laws together, about what pains you, hear their side out too, if needed with your parents in tow. If needed go for counseling, all of you. If that also becomes another war walk out of the marriage and file for a divorce. It will become ugly later on, I know...