Comments for Post #C27909

At twenty eight I worry I will never find genuine love

2 mins read, looking for suggestions/advice. I am 28M, a mechanical engineer, CTC 13 LPA (Idk if all this is important )and honestly I do not know what I am supposed to do anymore. I am writing this because I have been feeling pretty lost and sad about my situation lately. I did not really have a relationship during college. I studied in a different state, and the language and cultural difference made things more difficult. By the time college was over, I had basically never had a proper relationship. Then work started, and life just kept moving. I am currently working in another city, away from my family. I live by myself, manage everything on my own, and most of my life revolves around work. I meet people, but I do not really meet many people in a situation where a relationship can naturally develop. And now I am 28. I know 28 is not old. I know people will tell me that I still have plenty of time. But when you are actually living it, it feels different. People around me are getting into serious relationships, getting married, having someone to come home to, and building a life together. Meanwhile, I sometimes come back to my apartment after work and wonder how I am even supposed to meet someone in the first place. I do not think I am particularly bad at talking to people. I am probably a little reserved initially, and I think I can be difficult to understand until someone actually gets to know me. But once I am comfortable with someone, I am very different. I like things to be straightforward. I do not really like playing games or pretending to be someone I am not. If I like someone, I would rather be honest about it. If I do not feel something, I would rather be honest about that too. I have tried putting myself out there, but I do not really know what I am doing. Dating apps have not really worked for me either. And now there is the whole Indian marriage situation. My family will eventually expect me to start seriously looking for marriage. But I do not want to marry someone just because I am 28 and everyone thinks it is time. More importantly, I do not want another person to marry me just for the sake of getting married either. I want someone who actually likes me, loves me, understands me and wants to build a life with me. I want friendship, attraction, comfort, trust, and the feeling that we genuinely chose each other. I also want to be that person for her. I do not want a woman to feel like she simply got married because it was the next thing she was supposed to do. Maybe I am expecting too much, I honestly do not know. But I am also scared that I am sitting here waiting for something that is not going to magically happen. Sometimes I genuinely wonder if there is something wrong with me. Am I unlovable, or have I simply never been in the right circumstances to meet someone? I know that sounds dramatic, but that is honestly how I feel sometimes. I live far from my home in another city. I work, come back home, spend most of my time alone, and then repeat the same thing. Some days it does not bother me much. Other days it feels really confusing and sad. So what am I actually supposed to do now? I am 28, living away from home in another city, working full-time, and I do not have a natural social circle where I can meet potential partners. I do not want to spend the next five years just hoping that someone will somehow appear. For people who were in a similar situation around 28–30, especially men who had very little relationship experience: What did you actually do? Did you actively start dating? Did you use matrimonial apps? Did you let your family get involved? Did you meet someone through friends? Did you just keep living your life and eventually meet someone? I am not looking for sympathy. I genuinely need some perspective because right now I feel like I have missed some part of life that everyone else somehow figured out. And honestly, I do not even know if I am asking the right question here. I just know that I do not want to wake up at 35 and realise that I spent all those years waiting because I was too confused to do anything.