2 mins read, looking for suggestions/advice. I am 28M, a mechanical engineer, CTC 13 LPA (Idk if all this is important )and honestly I do not know what I am supposed to do anymore. I am writing this because I have been feeling pretty lost and sad about my situation lately. I did not really have a relationship during college. I studied in a different state, and the language and cultural difference made things more difficult. By the time college was over, I had basically never had a proper relationship. Then work started, and life just kept moving. I am currently working in another city, away from my family. I live by myself, manage everything on my own, and most of my life revolves around work. I meet people, but I do not really meet many people in a situation where a relationship can naturally develop. And now I am 28. I know 28 is not old. I know people will tell me that I still have plenty of time. But when you are actually living it, it feels different. People around me are getting into serious relationships, getting married, having someone to come home to, and building a life together. Meanwhile, I sometimes come back to my apartment after work and wonder how I am even supposed to meet someone in the first place. I do not think I am particularly bad at talking to people. I am probably a little reserved initially, and I think I can be difficult to understand until someone actually gets to know me. But once I am comfortable with someone, I am very different. I like things to be straightforward. I do not really like playing games or pretending to be someone I am not. If I like someone, I would rather be honest about it. If I do not feel something, I would rather be honest about that too. I have tried putting myself out there, but I do not really know what I am doing. Dating apps have not really worked for me either. And now there is the whole Indian marriage situation. My family will eventually expect me to start seriously looking for marriage. But I do not want to marry someone just because I am 28 and everyone thinks it is time. More importantly, I do not want another person to marry me just for the sake of getting married either. I want someone who actually likes me, loves me, understands me and wants to build a life with me. I want friendship, attraction, comfort, trust, and the feeling that we genuinely chose each other. I also want to be that person for her. I do not want a woman to feel like she simply got married because it was the next thing she was supposed to do. Maybe I am expecting too much, I honestly do not know. But I am also scared that I am sitting here waiting for something that is not going to magically happen. Sometimes I genuinely wonder if there is something wrong with me. Am I unlovable, or have I simply never been in the right circumstances to meet someone? I know that sounds dramatic, but that is honestly how I feel sometimes. I live far from my home in another city. I work, come back home, spend most of my time alone, and then repeat the same thing. Some days it does not bother me much. Other days it feels really confusing and sad. So what am I actually supposed to do now? I am 28, living away from home in another city, working full-time, and I do not have a natural social circle where I can meet potential partners. I do not want to spend the next five years just hoping that someone will somehow appear. For people who were in a similar situation around 28–30, especially men who had very little relationship experience: What did you actually do? Did you actively start dating? Did you use matrimonial apps? Did you let your family get involved? Did you meet someone through friends? Did you just keep living your life and eventually meet someone? I am not looking for sympathy. I genuinely need some perspective because right now I feel like I have missed some part of life that everyone else somehow figured out. And honestly, I do not even know if I am asking the right question here. I just know that I do not want to wake up at 35 and realise that I spent all those years waiting because I was too confused to do anything.
Dude, this is happy life, why you want suck yours life. Just enjoy life with multiple chicks 🐥, don’t marry. U r lucky as single no stress. Explore world, meet new ppl around world, see YouTuber Paramvir Singh Beniwal.
Bro there's something called matrimonial ads, shaadi dot com, jeevansathi dot com, bharat matrimony dot com etc. etc. And has ur family or relatives completely given up on ur marriage? 😂 if yes, then take matter in ur own hands. If no, then take their help, nothing wrong with it.
Everyone's time comes, your time will come in due course. Just because others may have got married doesn't mean you need to. This isn't some 100 meter race.
I honestly don’t think there is anything wrong with you, and 28 is nowhere near “too late.” What you are describing sounds less like being unlovable and more like being in an environment where you simply haven’t had enough opportunities to meet people organically. At the same time, I wouldn’t recommend just waiting and hoping someone appears. If finding a relationship is important to you, you have to deliberately create opportunities for one to happen. Try expanding your social life outside work, hobbies, sports, classes, volunteering, friends of friends, community groups, or even dating apps with a more intentional approach. And if you are comfortable with it, there is nothing wrong with telling your family that you are open to meeting people through them, while making it clear that you will decide based on compatibility rather than pressure. Also, don’t measure your life against people around you. Some people have their first serious relationship at 22, others at 30 or 35. There is no universal timeline. Most importantly, don't turn your lack of relationship experience into evidence that you're somehow undesirable. You haven't failed at love, you simply haven't found the right person yet. You’re right about one thing, though, love probably won't magically appear if your routine remains work, apartment, work. Keep building a life you genuinely enjoy, but also put yourself in situations where meaningful connections can actually happen. And when you meet someone, don't focus on whether she is “the one” immediately. Start with a conversation. Build a friendship. See whether there is mutual attraction, respect, comfort and compatibility. Let it develop naturally. You haven't missed your chance. Just don't confuse I haven't found it yet with I never will.
Try finding friends first, introspect to see whether you actually need someone or it’s the loneliness taking over, lastly don’t force fit, it won’t work.
At that age I would worry about having a better job
Such desperation will have a disastrous ending. Visit a family court once and your delusion of "happily married" would get shattered in seconds.
Such a long mssg for such a little thing, omg. You are one of the reason why I want less population in the world. With 700B+ population around (never in history even 25% of this existed), you feel lonely, and irrevocable lost, really, what's wrong with you, you are 28M, mariage is not the point, but connections, friendships, conversations, you seem to be depressed actually?! It happens, lack of sex can get to your head, at this age, for some it happens early, depending on how soon their parents themselves got married. I bet your parents married v v early, but thts no disadvantage at all... Back to your situation: the kind of wishlists n expectations you hv is another downer, it's definitely not okay , in present times you need to be more open minded, and why don't you rather make same kind of list for yourself and follow it.... Mariage: confidence in some of your family members or even maternal side, no choice , as family is intrinsic when it comes to mariages. Unless they have given up on you, in that case look for a mariage-broker...as web sites etc would be more unpredictable, then fwd those profiles recvd thru broker to yr family, even though you will make your choices, but do involve them.
Hii can we connect?
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