Comments for Post #C27687

My Wife's Deception and Secret Past Shattered My Trust

32M, Living Abroad for past 8 years. Hi Everyone, Sorry for posting this, but I have severe trauma and deeply affected over my wifes past and our relationship. We are married for 3 years now. I am a guy who is honest, truthful and loyal. I had a crush in my college days, was talking to her thinking she will love me too. When I proposed her one day, she told me that she is already in a relationship for past 1 year which she hid and lied to me and I finally understood that I was her emotional time pass. I felt embarrassed and then on I decided that the next girl I talk or have feelings will only be my wife. So I waited for almost 9 years and finally met my wife through matrimony. Throughout these years, I didnt involve with any single woman. What I thought was when I marry the girl of my love, I will give everything for love and be the best. But all was shattered. My wife she lied and hid everthing about her past. She is also living in the same country as I am. On the first day of our meeting, I told her that I value honesty, kindness and being truthful. If you have the same then we will match otherwise we dont. She said she was also raised from a good family and she didnt have any past or whatsover. I trusted her blindly because being honest is also two ways where you also believe the other person is honest with you too! Everything was going well between us and we had 6 months time to marry. One fine day before engagement she confessed that few years ago, there was a boy whom she calls "Psycho" burnt her house and her fathers car and there was a police case registered. I was shocked but kept my calm. She said that when she was in an NGO, his guy came and she helped him to get out of his mental issues and that guy started loving here and followed her. This all happened when she was in a relationship which she hid as well and I later found out. Since I had enormous love on her, I believed her story. 1 month later, she had her birthday when I gifted her iphone and made that day special. Later she was caught in a shoplifting and hid that from me. And again she was caught second time and this time she came to me out of the guilt that she hid this from me twice. I kept my calm again and she said she was in a delulu mindset of getting married and she doesnt know what she was doing. I further told her that she have my back and consoled her. We got engaged in India and left to my city because we both were from different cities. After I left she met a guy for more than an hour in tha airport, took selfies and came back home like nothing happened and talked to me like nothing happened and returned abroad. After 2 weeks we were shifting to our new home, when she was showing someting in her phone, there was a guy name with a heart next to it. As soon as I saw that, she took the phone away and deleted it. I was suspicious and thats when everything started. I saw her phone when she was away and could see in whatsapp that she met this guy at the airport and took selfies. I was heartbroken, my heart stopped for a moment, shivering and everything. I didnt confront her on this. But all these stuffs was going thriugh my head. she opened the gate to hell. What I dont want to happen as happened. I dont want any guys interference in my life and thats the reason why I was single thoughout. And this became an headache for me. She left to India before me for wedding. And I asked her indirectly about this guy and the meeting, which she said that she didnt meet anyone. and later out of her guilt she confessed that this guy was here friend in the NGO, and he came only to visit her and she claimed it was nothing and harmless. How can this be harmless? Will an engaged girl go and meet a guy secretly? Please guys give me a resoponse for this. I belived her story and we got married And later this guy was the one she was talking before me in mattimony and even her fathertold her that this wont work out, she was still flirting with that guy. Even after I came to her life she was till in touch with the guys she was flirting with. Is this what a good woman do? I loved her from the bottom of my heart. After looking through her phone and laptop, I found out that she was in many situationships, flirting, having multiple flings, smokes and drinks as well. She said she hasnt smoked or but has few times drinked. But she drinks a lot. Thats the first time I knew about flings, situationships etc. How is it to feel of hearing these things from your wife and seeing hertaking about these to her friends? My whole world broken. She is the only one who starts flirting with boys and sends tons of her photos to different boys. How can I sleep by seeing these things? We had a lot of fights over this for past 3 years and I netither can forget nor accept her again. MY love is gone. I initaited divorce several times, but It would be hell of a scene. I am just living with here for the sake of marriage.