I 24F currently in an AM situation and if things go well will probably get married by next year. My potential husband (28M) is well-settled (earning around ₹30LPA) not much demanding but I feel like he’s not much of an emotionally supportive person. He sometimes gets carried away and uses crass language that I absolutely despise and have told him to change that. He is a good listener though and very sharp but doesn’t talk much. mostly I do the talking. We talk for almost 2-3 hours every night and I’m glad that he takes out time from his busy schedule because I’m the person for whom even 24hr is less. It’s just 1.5 month and he already made his mind that he will marry me, I was apprehensive at first but he said he’ll take the leap of faith and listening to that even I said yes. It’s difficult for me to marry someone without an emotional connect and making an emotional connect with him is getting difficult for me because of his way of speaking. Now the thing is I had a boyfriend (25M) whom I loved very much but we had compatibility issues (mostly financial incompatibility). He wanted me to contribute and I had no problem with that but we had income disparity (He earned around ₹24LPA while I earned ₹6LPA) and he always used to make this a point that I need to earn more. I’m the person who doesn’t want to work for entire life, I’m not very much passionate but I know I can earn decent money. But I didn’t like him forcing me to switch careers or not being patient with me for my career growth. We have now broken up but I keep thinking what if things could have changed. My ex was a soft-spoken, gentle guy who also loved me but had different priorities in life. (We have moved on in our lives and will not cross paths ever) I’m not comparing these two persons but I’m not entirely sure either if I’m making the right decision given everything is moving too fast. I want to settle down and give this new relationship a chance but I know I can’t change a person’s personality. Am I wrong for choosing my potential partner knowing well it will mostly be a relationship of convenience and may be eventually I might fall in love but not at this moment for sure.
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Both are not suitable options....look for some other prospective guys ..
The problem starts the moment we depend on someone else for our happiness. No single person can have every quality we want. You’re just 24. If you’re not sure about this person, take your time. Don’t make decisions out of pressure or half-heartedly. Marriage is a bond for a lifetime.
You can't ask for the rain and not deal with the mud... Remember that... Every time you make a decision in life it comes with both good and bad aspects... In your case you had a gentleman who was kind and understanding but was not financially well off... So you left cause of financial stability... Now the second person who you're deciding to marry in 1.5 months (for some reason, as you might be a exceptional judge of character) is financially well off but uses abusive language, so that's the trade off... You can't ask for everything... Right... And if you're asking for everything question is what are you bringing to the table... Talking for 2-3 hrs brings nothing in someone's life and it's wastage of time... I don't know what kind of a relationship you had with your ex-BF or your current BF knows about it or not... But understand this... You can't attract high value people by being a cheap quality product... Yes you'll attract many cheap buyers who'll have their own set of pros and cons... But can't be perfect... Cause if you want perfect... You yourself have to be high value and perfect... In all aspects including understanding, cooperation and compassion... Not talking with someone for 2-3 hrs just cause they're having high income and dropping someone cause they're having less income...after being with them till what aspect only you know ... Hope this clarifies 🙂
Income issues needs to be sorted out before marriage so that in future it goes OK. How the bills will be divided 50:50 Kids expenses As you told you don't wish to continue working all your life till 60 and for him he wanted you to work. Definitely a mis match here. If he is looking for a working spouse. Now coming to this current guy whose language is bit difficult. I feel as per my intuitive mind, person who doesn't have patience uses such kind of language while talking. You have stated above this man listens to you , may be because he is trying to impress he is hiding the real behavior 🤔. May be post Marriage this man's behavior may change just an assumption as more complex marital life issues pops up like pop corn in life's journey which needs patience understanding to deal and sort it out. I don't want to frighten you girl just shared an input as per your above query. It's very difficult to find out whether the current man is really understanding caring with patience to listen and not react in that way no matter how complex the issue is. It's like a gamble .... girl. Astro wise mercury rules over speech vaani and intelligence. Check his chart to see if mercury is weak combust debilitated or afflicted . If yes then may be after marriage he may change just telling a possibility. Best match for you would be a man Who listens to his spouse issue complex problems of life patiently and tries to arrive at a solution where both put in 50: 50 efforts to make it work or remove the complex issue of life's journey in every department of marital life . Rest you decide. Even if a man is looking for working spouse dont just hand over your earnings to him or your in laws . You can always say ok to share bills expenses 50:50 contributions from both hubby and wife clear this before marriage. It's a kaliyug out there and there are many men inlaws out there who shameless ly expects wife's money 💰 as bonus income entirely 😀 Personally my late dad never asked single rupee from my mom even though he was earning less than mom . But such men are very few in kaliyug now a days so be careful girl.
In starting money will feel good, buy all materialistic happiness, luxuries, trips etc... Then after 5 6 years u will get tired of it... A phase will come where you will need emotional attachment, support... It's better to be single rather than a person whom neither u can give emotional support nor he could give... Money is important so is emotional love too for both the partners... Both ur ex and this potential boy are not for you... U r just 24, u should meet some more people to find who could give u both and u too could upgrade ur career to support him financially too...
Her income is 6 lac per year, get a load of this little girl.
Cancel the wedding before it's too late
Definitely wrong..
Both are not suitable for you! Wait for 2-3 years and make some good decision
Bebe u r just 24 why u want to get married that too to a wrong person!! Both boys are wrong for u! If u want to get married just search for a compatible partner who supports u emotionally as well as financially. Why u stuck ! Move on and search other proposals
You are cheating on your boyfriend. You will probably cheat on your future husband as well
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