Comments for Post #C27920

Both are not suitable options....look for some other prospective guys ..

The problem starts the moment we depend on someone else for our happiness. No single person can have every quality we want. You’re just 24. If you’re not sure about this person, take your time. Don’t make decisions out of pressure or half-heartedly. Marriage is a bond for a lifetime.

You're not wrong for choosing stability. But 1.5 months is too early to decide "this is it" for life. Crass language + no emotional connect are red flags, not small things. Marriage is 24/7, not 2-3 hours at night. Take time. Don't rush because "he decided". Your peace matters more than ₹30LPA. Sending you strength 🤍

Don't you have third option ??

1. If it's not CLEAR yes, then it's no. 2. If you have DOUBTS, then don't proceed. 3. If you have capability to earn more, then concentrate on that. 4. Trust me, it's really MORE important to have OWN money than to have husband &/ children. 5. Marriage looks like an easy escape from toxic blood family &/corporate rat race, but it's just ANOTHER type of hell when the partner is not right. And they are not right MOST of the times. 6. ALWAYS keep your earnings, inheritance ONLY in your name. Accessible ONLY to you. 7. Agree to 50-50 financial arrangements ONLY if you are staying in nuclear family. && spouse is ACTUALLY doing 50-50 in chores, 50-50 in mental load of chores, 50-50 in child rearing. If he is doing less in any of these fields then withdraw financial 50-50 immediately. 8. Tell him to manage his parents, and you manage your own. Don't try to create happy families. Life is NOT Suraj Barjatya movie.

You can't ask for the rain and not deal with the mud... Remember that... Every time you make a decision in life it comes with both good and bad aspects... In your case you had a gentleman who was kind and understanding but was not financially well off... So you left cause of financial stability... Now the second person who you're deciding to marry in 1.5 months (for some reason, as you might be a exceptional judge of character) is financially well off but uses abusive language, so that's the trade off... You can't ask for everything... Right... And if you're asking for everything question is what are you bringing to the table... Talking for 2-3 hrs brings nothing in someone's life and it's wastage of time... I don't know what kind of a relationship you had with your ex-BF or your current BF knows about it or not... But understand this... You can't attract high value people by being a cheap quality product... Yes you'll attract many cheap buyers who'll have their own set of pros and cons... But can't be perfect... Cause if you want perfect... You yourself have to be high value and perfect... In all aspects including understanding, cooperation and compassion... Not talking with someone for 2-3 hrs just cause they're having high income and dropping someone cause they're having less income...after being with them till what aspect only you know ... Hope this clarifies 🙂

Comparability is for partners contributing 50:50 in everything from household chores to financial support and having mutual emotional bond.

Income issues needs to be sorted out before marriage so that in future it goes OK. How the bills will be divided 50:50 Kids expenses As you told you don't wish to continue working all your life till 60 and for him he wanted you to work. Definitely a mis match here. If he is looking for a working spouse. Now coming to this current guy whose language is bit difficult. I feel as per my intuitive mind, person who doesn't have patience uses such kind of language while talking. You have stated above this man listens to you , may be because he is trying to impress he is hiding the real behavior 🤔. May be post Marriage this man's behavior may change just an assumption as more complex marital life issues pops up like pop corn in life's journey which needs patience understanding to deal and sort it out. I don't want to frighten you girl just shared an input as per your above query. It's very difficult to find out whether the current man is really understanding caring with patience to listen and not react in that way no matter how complex the issue is. It's like a gamble .... girl. Astro wise mercury rules over speech vaani and intelligence. Check his chart to see if mercury is weak combust debilitated or afflicted . If yes then may be after marriage he may change just telling a possibility. Best match for you would be a man Who listens to his spouse issue complex problems of life patiently and tries to arrive at a solution where both put in 50: 50 efforts to make it work or remove the complex issue of life's journey in every department of marital life . Rest you decide. Even if a man is looking for working spouse dont just hand over your earnings to him or your in laws . You can always say ok to share bills expenses 50:50 contributions from both hubby and wife clear this before marriage. It's a kaliyug out there and there are many men inlaws out there who shameless ly expects wife's money 💰 as bonus income entirely 😀 Personally my late dad never asked single rupee from my mom even though he was earning less than mom . But such men are very few in kaliyug now a days so be careful girl.

You were emotionally connected to your ex and still you didn't like it when he pushed you for career/financial growth, on basis of which you guys walked away. Tell me what's the guarantee that his AM match won't ask you someday to notch up or switch jobs for financial stability, will you then listen ? Please don't look at money but compatibility, which means you must feel from your heart that this is the right person to marry. I think you shouldn't marry this guy. Take your time and marry when you are ready. I feel you aren't ready yet.

In starting money will feel good, buy all materialistic happiness, luxuries, trips etc... Then after 5 6 years u will get tired of it... A phase will come where you will need emotional attachment, support... It's better to be single rather than a person whom neither u can give emotional support nor he could give... Money is important so is emotional love too for both the partners... Both ur ex and this potential boy are not for you... U r just 24, u should meet some more people to find who could give u both and u too could upgrade ur career to support him financially too...

I don’t think you’re wrong for considering an arranged marriage, but I do think you should slow down before making a lifelong decision. Financial stability, compatibility in lifestyle, and willingness to build a life together are all important, but they cannot completely replace emotional safety and respect. The fact that you already dislike the way he speaks and feel that emotional connection is difficult is something worth taking seriously. People can change their habits, but you shouldn’t marry someone hoping that their personality will change after marriage. At the same time, don’t idealise your ex simply because the relationship ended. He may have been gentle and loving, but your financial and career expectations were fundamentally different, and those issues mattered too. The bigger question isn’t “Who is better, my ex or this man?” It is “Can I genuinely see myself being happy, respected and emotionally secure with this person?” You’re only 24. There is no need to rush simply because he has already decided he wants to marry you. Take more time, discuss finances, career expectations, household responsibilities, children, lifestyle, communication and conflict resolution very honestly. Most importantly, see how he reacts when you disagree with him or set a boundary. Marriage shouldn’t be a choice between love and convenience. Ideally, you should choose someone with whom you can build both stability and emotional companionship. If you’re already telling yourself that you’ll “probably fall in love later,” pause and make sure you’re not trying to convince yourself into a marriage you’re not ready for.

Her income is 6 lac per year, get a load of this little girl.

I can't understand what is this 50/50 . A man is one who takes all the responsibilities of a family. This was the concept when women were not working. Nowadays when women are working why are men dividing the bills. Where will her money go. This or that way it will be spent on home, kids etc BUT if a man is honest, sincere and respectful. Those are the foundations of a marriage. Not making agreements of finances. Women contribute much more in marriage by physical, emotional and by producing children. She makes a stable family and home. Do men realize these unvaluable contributions. In islam it is the duty of a man to provide wife's expences like food,clothing,home and personal expenses according to his sources. Even if wife has his own money, however rich she may be husband has no right over it. He still has to fullfill his duties. Yes if she wants to spend on home or kids or even on husband by her own free will, she can but no compulsion. So nowadays men if you are marrying enter it with full responsibility not 50/50

Cancel the wedding before it's too late

Definitely wrong..

No u did as expected.... U guys deserve everything in the world

24 very young to marry...see the world à little....enjoy life à little

Both are worst options don't go forboth no emotional connect. Marriage is emotional connect

you must be really tired talking 2-3 hours every night !!

Not sure about others opinion but I think 6LPA at age around 24 is not bad at all

Both are not suitable for you! Wait for 2-3 years and make some good decision

Does he speak crassly about you or other things? Did he agree to make efforts to sound more pleasing to you? Also are your boundaries reasonable or something outlandish like he shouldn't swear in your presence ? You shouldn't say yes because he said yes. Does he only talk about himself if he talks for hours but is still unsupportive?

Bebe u r just 24 why u want to get married that too to a wrong person!! Both boys are wrong for u! If u want to get married just search for a compatible partner who supports u emotionally as well as financially. Why u stuck ! Move on and search other proposals

Both are not suitable for you deserve an 1crore pa guy who will work his as off all day and you will sit at home and watch tv for rest of your life

pls wait dont decide now...soon u will get someone earning more than 30 then think...i wish no guys shud marry u ever...u r a pure gold digger