We had a love marriage. But right after getting married, I noticed a drastic change in her behavior, and small issues quickly turned into major arguments. According to her, I wasn't 'smart' enough simply because I wasn't into night clubs or pub culture, nor did I h**g out drinking with friends. My logic was crystal clear: I don't mind going if it's an official event or covered by work, but why blow 10,000 rupees on a weekend at a club just to show off 'smartness' to strangers? I work hard for my money and dislike throwing it away. I even told her, 'If you're so fond of that lifestyle, get a job, earn your own money, and spend it however you like—I won't stop you.' What bothered me most was the double standard regarding body image and personality. She wouldn't hesitate to look down on me or put me down, whereas I never made a single comment about her physical appearance or fashion choices—because the moment a guy does that, he gets labeled a 'body shamer.' Yet, she had no problem criticizing me, all while posting grand feminist dialogues on social media. Under immense mental stress during one heated argument, I lost my temper and an unfortunate incident occurred. I immediately regretted it, apologized sincerely, and suggested that instead of living in constant friction, we walk away peacefully through a divorce. But back then, she refused to take a clear decision, while continuing to ignore me and escalate arguments. Unable to take it anymore, I moved out in January and proposed a mutual consent divorce within a fixed timeline. That's when another mind game began. First, there was no clear response from her side, and then the dates kept shifting—from March to May, and then to August. Initially, she claimed she didn't want any alimony and would just take her personal belongings and leave. Now, she has suddenly brought up financial demands and is dragging her feet once again. She refuses to settle smoothly via mutual consent, yet she keeps the whole situation h*****g. I am emotionally exhausted by these constant mind changes and broken promises. My question to the community is: Should I keep waiting around for her to stop stalling and changing her mind, or should I take the initiative and file for a contested divorce myself?
The confession outlines a profound breakdown of a marriage, defined by starkly different values around lifestyle, finance, and mutual respect. The tension lies not just in the incompatibility itself—such as differing views on socializing, spending, and personal standards—but in the grueling, prolonged process of trying to end the union. The writer describes a cycle of escalating arguments, a regrettable loss of temper, and a subsequent attempt to seek a peaceful resolution through a mutual consent divorce. However, this path has been complicated by shifting timelines, changing financial demands, and perceived stalling tactics from the spouse. A careful reader should consider the complex emotional and practical landscape here. On one side, the writer feels drained by what they perceive as deliberate mind games, moving goalposts, and a double standard regarding personal criticism. On the other side, the shifting stance on alimony and timelines might reflect a partner grappling with the sudden reality of a dissolving marriage, financial insecurity, or unresolved emotional grievances following their past conflicts. The central dilemma is whether the writer should continue to wait for a mutual agreement to materialize—hoping to avoid the adversarial nature of a contested divorce—or proactively take legal initiative to regain control over their future, despite the potential escalation in conflict and expense that a contested filing might bring.
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Bro, how did you get into love marriage without knowing her completely. ?
The sensible approach is to stop treating this as a matter of waiting for her to change her mind and start treating it as a legal process. From what is described, there are clearly unresolved issues on both sides. The admission that an incident occurred during an argument is important and shouldn't be minimised just because an apology was made. At the same time, repeatedly changing positions on divorce or financial settlement can make an already difficult situation even more stressful. If mutual consent is genuinely no longer progressing, he should consult a qualified family lawyer and understand his options for filing a contested divorce rather than continuing indefinitely on informal promises. He should keep communication factual and preferably in writing, document important agreements and financial matters, and avoid confrontational conversations. However, he shouldn't assume that filing a contested divorce automatically means the wife is "stalling" or acting maliciously. Financial demands can change once someone obtains independent legal advice, and entitlement to maintenance/alimony depends on the circumstances and applicable law. The goal shouldn't be to prove who won the argument. It should be to reach a legally sound resolution with minimum further conflict. If there is still a realistic possibility of mutual consent, a lawyer or mediator can help establish clear terms and timelines. If not, getting proper legal advice and proceeding through the appropriate legal route is more constructive than waiting indefinitely.
Well if she is not working then she is not leaving without money....
Cheapo guy taught simple divorce when it came to money again stuck
Before marriage the lady did not tell what lifestyle she preferred? Was she working before marriage? What kind of expectations were set by the confessor before marriage? If the confessor wants a divorce then he should consult a lawyer and file for a divorce
Seems like my story. I got divorce from my wife since I was the one took care of entire marriage expenses. And gave some amount for settlement as I thought she can use that for time being. Now we don't contact each other and I am living my life peacefully now 😀
Divorce whether Mutual and contested is never a solution..Adjustment is the key..Solving issues on both ends..shud be the goal..If one disagrees for mutual consent..which one can if one doesnt want divorce..contested divorce is the option but that takes years..and financially supporting her is the duty of Husband...if one files for divorce..Section 144 BNS maintainance is applicable..and .Infact Section 36 Maintainance pendente lite where litigation expenses and travel expenses regarding the case shud be paid from the man's end..Thats law and what allegations that takes years to prove..Every case hardly has 4 min..So instead of running behind court and spending on lawyers and fighting lifelong..understand the word marriage..It means commitment..no couple are perfect..issues needs to be solved..We have arguments with siblings but do we leave them..no..
Either u file or she files it U have to pay for a lifetime until she leaves this world Welcome to the hell
You must try Blue drum therapy
Since the field is not level, it becomes a game, which requires you to think of strategy, instead of just walking away peacefully. Make your mindset iron strong . And whatever the outcome will be you will be at loss physically, but mentally stay strong and think of everything as a lesson learnt in life. Find a purpose to live a good life. Protect your self from negative thoughts. Stay strong brother.
I have no idea of the consequences when husband files for divorce. For that consult a good lawyer. But from what you have shared, I can say that she will not leave you without money and harassment. More time it will take, more disturbing it’ll be for you because she’ll keep playing with your mind. Therefore I’ll suggest: - finish it asap - keep your calm till the time it finishes. - handle her smartly. you know her well cos you said it’s a love marriage. So use the tactics that can work with her. Very important- don’t give her much time to think. Finish it fast.
Leave emotions completely! None of them arw looking for easy settlements. They harrass to get more money! Better to push it to the court quickly with mutual consent
You can never be happy with such people. It is clear she is playing with you and using you . If you keep tolerating all this you will loose yourself and will be destroyed.
Were you playing ring a roses during romance to not notice that you are being played by a feminazis? Men can never afford to be dumb. Solution is - Vanish from the place and move abroad or a distant place in the North. Meet her after you retire. Divorce laws are worse than a death sentence for men. If you file for divorce, you are committing career and financial suicide. Just run away. No other solution.
Ur fool if u think she will leave u this easily .
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