I am a Kerala based man of 39, married 7 years back to a girl, now 38 in an arranged setup. Each of us earn around 1 lakh monthly. She doe not spend a single penny from her salary while I am almost out of pocket at the end of every month due to a few EMIs, homely expenditure, and a little support to my parents. Even for her own very little expenditures, she asks me for money. I don't mind it, though. She buys property in her name with the money she collects from her salary and says that she is collecting the property for our children, though we don't have any child yet as she has some medical issue, and I am happily bearing the treatment. I am getting worroed about my future. If we, despite all the efforts, don't get any child in next few years, neither is she ready for me to marry another girl and She holds all the property in her name, may she quit me in an of age of late 40s or 50s as any girl, without her own children, would certainly like to share her property with her brothers and nephews, not with those of her husband. In that condition, I would hardly be having any wealth of my own, nor the age to settle again. Once I expressed my fear, she assured me "There is nothing divided between us. Yours in mine. Mine is yours." Is our family cart being driven well, or I need to be cautious of upcoming jerks in old age?
Share your thoughts anonymously.
ℹ️ Your comment will be posted publicly on Facebook if it complies with our community guidelines.
💬 Comments (67)
Please explain to me the sentence "neither is she ready for me to marry another girl." I mean, why would you marry another girl when you are already married?
In current scenario I would suggest add your name in nominee for every property incase situation gets difficult
She is carefully planning. Just becareful
make sure everything to be joint property,
Ask her to buy the property in both of your names
You should buy joint property or you should both divide the household expenses and where did this thing about she not letting you marry someone else come in between ???? Do you have an affair or something ? No one thinks of another marriage if there are no children , there are many treatments in today’s world , you can option for those or simply adopt .
Ok, What kind of house hold work you do ? Do you cook atleast 3 days ? Who is responsible for emotional labor and planning ? Do you do all laundry ? Clean vessels ? If you share other responsibilities equally then you can expect her to share financial resp ..if not then you dont have any rights ...Dont tell me if she asks I will do ...Then wife should also say if you ask I can cook ...What are your responsibilites for house hold chores ?
1. Marry another girl ? Are you saying that she have medical issue as per you , so you want to leave her ? Then what about companionship and loyalty from your side ? If this is your mentality that leave wife and marry another girl coz your wife have some medical issue then she have done right decision to buy flat in her name . Think of it you have some medical issue and for that your wife is leaving you . So disappointed to hear this kind of thought. 2. Why are you worried about the future if you assume that you will not have kids in the future. You can live happily with your wife in the flat named in her name . After all we can't carry the property with us after death . 3. I would suggest you if you are feeling over burdened financially you can discuss and ask for some contribution from her side too. But before that ask yourself if you are feeling to leave her .
Ask her to share house expenses so that both of you could save some money and buy properties in your own names. you can also live happily with her even if she has medical issues by adopting children but the way you said about marrying another woman, I am quite doubtful of your intentions, no wonder she has no trust in you.
Don't be fooled by her words. All property should have joint ownership else all home expenses must be equally shared
she never stopped you making your own property ... save your money for your old age ... If you donot have kids till now , so no responsibility ... You can save a lot of Money after Home expenses also... Her property You donot have a share ... Its her property , If she keeps you nominee , Then You just Nominee , But property will go to that person legally whom she gives it to either Gift deed or transfer of ownership ...
It is in Ladies genes...There is limitation in eveeything..TC... U strictly tell her house hold expenses should be 50-50%...
All the assets created after marriage will be shared by both in case of divorce. It doesn't matter who's name the property was bought in.
Adopt a child to secure the combined wealth and to support in your old age
Reading comments looks like he provoked some feminist backlash. He is a doubtful culprit if he is thinking about another marriage. Without emotional attachment if he becomes the victim then . Please be practical and suggest if he is your son or brother. If you reading my comment bro talk with her clearly and take final decision ASAP because next year after 40s mid age crisis hits very hard. You will never able to stand again.
Devide all household expenses 50% and ask her to pay. Have a joint account for expenses and both tranfer equal amount to it. That's the only solution you have. Discuss with her calmly and tell her u r buying property now. She is absolutely taking advantage of u . She could have buy property on joint name, but she didn't. Means she is carefully doing it. U also start acting smartly.
Don't worry. Let her make a will and leave some property to you and some to her parents. After all, you also support your parents financially.
When the answer is obvious, it's better to believe the "obvious". One cannot chase the sun and not get sunburnt. #Logic101
🙂↔️ mein kuch bolungi nahi but the way you said she does not allow me to marry another girl saying a lot about you and your relationship, I bet your wife does not trust you as well, if you can talk about bringing another wife so easily then I can only imagine the situation in your house. Yes house because I don’t think yours is a home
You are overthinking. However it's important to save money for your own sake.
Why would you get separated? Just because she has medical issues? And then you want to marry another girl? Do you think you both can happily adopt a child and live peacefully?
Isn't this what men did all these decades to women who were made to stay at home, to live with insecurity? 😅 Just wondering.
Listen to your gut,as simple as that
Get legal opinion. If ure lawyer is smart he can get her to share HER property which she made saving her money while living off urs if she plans to divorce u. While u won't hv to gv her any maintenence ever as she has more than u already ... in case u hv kids, n she chooses to stay..everything's settled then so u dont hv to worry about u.. and if she doesnt want kids while u r so desperate to have them as u r so annoyed with her that shes not letting u marry another woman ( though thats sick of u IMO), u can divorce her on these irreconcilable differences and u can " marry another woman" and hv as many kids as u want.
I was all sympathetic with you until I read "neither she is ready for me to marry another girl" which was followed by another line "property goes to her brother and nephew not husband's". Now I know why she is buying property in her name only. You deserve that
Be careful or you will end up in another drum
You have few EMIs and you are also supporting your parents. You married at the age of 32. Didn't you have any savings/assets BEFORE marriage? After workings for 15+ years you STILL don't have any savings/assets of your own? And now you are blaming your wife for your own mismanagement? Why not blame your EMIs and parents as well? --- How much actually are monthly expenses of your nuclear family? Who is doing all the chores+mental load of managing house? --- When did you find out that she has some reproductive organ issues and will have problems conceiving? Why didn't you divorce at time? Have you both decided time limit till which you guys will try to conceive with medical help? Have you two discussed about what you will do in case of failure to conceive in that time period? --- >> as any girl, without her own children, would certainly like to share her property with her brothers and nephews, not with those of her husband. >> And what's wrong if a person wants to share their earnings+investments with their own blood? Are you planning to share your self earnings with her bro's children or your own bro's children?
The Reality Check: Your Cart is Heavily Imbalanced Brother, your fear is not paranoia; it is a highly rational look at your financial future. While marriage is a partnership, financial laws do not run on emotional assurances like "Mine is yours." Right now, you are carrying 100% of the liabilities while she is accumulating 100% of the assets. Here are the concrete **proofs and legal realities** in India (specifically under Indian property and family laws) that show why you need to be cautious: ### 1. The Legal Proof: No "Community Property" in India Unlike some Western countries, India does not have an automatic 50/50 split of matrimonial property upon divorce or separation. * **The Law:** Any property registered solely in your wife’s name, bought with her income, is legally her **absolute self-acquired property**. * **The Risk:** If she decides to walk away in her 40s or 50s, you have zero legal right to a share of those properties, even if you argue that your financial support allowed her to save her entire salary. The court looks at the title deed and the source of funding for that specific asset. ### 2. The Estate & Inheritance Proof: The Power of a "Will" Your concern about her property eventually going to her brothers or nephews is legally valid. * **The Law:** While intestate succession laws (dying without a will) for a childless married woman vary by religion (for example, under Section 15 of the Hindu Succession Act, a childless woman's self-acquired property goes to her husband first), **this is entirely bypassed if she writes a Will.** * **The Risk:** She has the absolute right to execute a Will leaving 100% of her real estate to her maternal family (brothers, nephews). You cannot legally contest a valid Will just because you are her husband. ### 3. The Financial Illusion: "Yours is Mine, Mine is Yours" If everything is shared, the paperwork should reflect it. Emotional statements cannot be leveraged in a bank or a court of law. By paying for all EMIs, household expenses, and medical treatments, you are effectively subsidizing her real estate portfolio while leaving yourself with zero net worth. ### Red Flags to Notice Right Now * **Future-Proofing for "Invisible" Children:** Buying property exclusively in her own name under the guise of "saving for future children" makes no sense. If it were truly for the family's future, the properties would be registered jointly in both your names. * **Asymmetrical Sacrifice:** You are living out-of-pocket every month while she experiences pure wealth accumulation. A healthy marriage balances the financial burden and the financial reward equally. ### Course Correction: How to Avoid the "Upcoming Jerks" If you want to protect your future without destroying your marriage, you need to transition from emotional agreements to legal ones immediately: * **Implement a 50/50 Expense Split:** Since you both earn equally (1 Lakh/month each), you must sit down and create a joint household account. Both of you should contribute an equal percentage (e.g., 50,000 INR each) to cover home expenses, EMIs, and medical bills. * **Insist on Joint Asset Creation:** Use the money you save from splitting expenses to invest in assets. If she wants to buy more property, it must be registered as a **joint property with rights of survivorship**. * **Secure Your Own Future:** Stop spending to the point of being out-of-pocket. You must prioritize your own pension, PPF, mutual funds, and parental support. > **Bottom Line:** A family cart cannot run smoothly if one partner is pulling the entire weight while the other is building an escape pod. If she truly believes "Mine is yours," she should have no objection to adding your name to the next property deed. Protect yourself. >
one day is hisab se kat jaega don't be negatively stay happy
भाई already कट गया है तुम्हारा,,,एक बार आवाज उठा के तो देखो,,,time to unveil the devil
Bhai. How much property can one buy in kerala for 1 lac rupees? Mujhe bhi khareedna hai
The way you referenced your wife who you have been married to for 7 years, speaks volumes about your relationship. You both seem to be in a no love and mutual respect less relationship with each of your being worried about being betrayed by the other. Please work on fixing your marriage first unless both of you have already given up and waiting for the right moment to walk away like when she is sound financially or you finding an alternative in another woman. The way you are talking about her seemed more like you are talking about a girlfriend you just started dating and not your wife whom you have been married to for close to a decade. If you are worried about your future, have a conversation with her and get yourself added as a nominee or joint holder but if I were you, I would first work to fix this marriage or respectfully separate than constantly think that the other person (and I am sure she things the way about you) will abandon the cart the first chance they get.
Joint property
50-50 for every expense and savings
If having a biological child remains difficult, you can also explore adoption if both of you are open to it. Once you turn forty you are not eligible for adoption... create assets jointly, discuss wills and nominations and have shared expenses..
Avoid trekking spots or high rise buildings bro.
You are already in a trap. Do one thing. Ask her to transfer half of the properties to you by gift registry. If she doesn’t agree to it, pls understand that you are making a fool of yourself. She has secured her future by using you. Stop paying for her expenses.
You need to be cautious bro...
You are in grave danger ....
Love is conditional for women. You put a full stop to one side expenses. Then start the negotiations. In the last one year itself how many stories did you hear from Kerala where the wife and children threw out the father from the house once his income stopped? We should learn from sich stories and act logically.
Be upfront bro. Don't be so stupid.
Be. Cautious.. Notorious secret agenda is there.. Be safe.. Further details disucss personally...
Yours is mine Mine is also mine ☺️☺️
Trust seems to be the concern with expected curiosity.You need to speak it out and sort out amicably to avoid future concerns as responsibility and accountability need to be divided. Prevention is better than cure.
Everything should be 50 - 50. Your concerns are genuine. Ask her to make you co - owner in all those properties if it is really for your children. Also ask her to contribute in all the expenses because you also want to save for your children.
Kick her as soon as ..else u will die having no child ..
You’re overthinking. She’s saving on your behalf in properties. But….you must save too.
Ask her to balance to avoid extra load on one person
Please tell her, household & other expenses should be 50 - 50 and nothing wrong with it. If she agrees, try to buy an asset on your name and pay EMI like how she bought the property on her name. If she did not agree, then ask her to make a joint property.
U don't seem to have any commitment!!! U r ready to get Remarried if u don't have a child . That is the reason ur wife is saving the money for her future because she must be knowing ur true colors . If it was reverse would u have allowed her to remarry .
If u have grown doubt now itself ask her to share all expenses....tell her openly what u feel/think.... Don't worry
You are in trouble... my close relative (retired) is now facing issue and has to ask money from his wife even for rickshaw fare
Bro. Avoid holidays in hill stations or treking spots. And watch out for unusual purchase of big size suitcases refrigerator or blue drums.
Damn, this guy wants to marry someone else just because his wife have some medical issue..... If she leaves u someday u definitely deserve it. Coming to money I think u will get something during divorce if she really has saved anything.
all set...
then why u spend on her and spend for her medical expenses...ask her to do it as fault is with her not u, also ask her to repay u for watevr u spent so far
Soon you are gonna get ducked😅, I know some people with similar issues. If they can't support their partner not sure why they marry lol. YOUR MONEY IS OUR MONEY, MY MONEY IS MY MONEY.
Absolutely yes
🎉 ThirtyFound ab officially LIVE hai! 🚀 Agar aap 30+ ho aur meaningful, serious aur long-term relationship ki talaash mein ho, toh ThirtyFound aapke liye bana hai. ✨ Verified Profiles ✨ Privacy First ✨ Smart Matching ✨ Genuine Connections 🎁 Special Launch Offer: Abhi hum Trial Phase mein hain aur limited time ke liye saari premium features FREE hain! Yeh perfect time hai apna profile create karne ka aur meaningful connections explore karne ka. Join now and be among our early members. ❤️ 🔗 Link in Bio #ThirtyFound #NowLive #MeaningfulConnections #30PlusDating #Matrimonial #FindYourPartner #SeriousRelationships #LoveAfter30 #IndiaMatrimony #StartupLaunch
I can help you bringing financial stability. I am just one ping away.
Ur fked I hope u sleep with one eye open. Mofo is so blind that he can't see the snake he is feeding. I hope she shows u some mercy while killing ur trash ass
Whatever you wrote it makes me feel sick 🤒 about you
You're a shemale such a cowardly person you should it is a curse that you were born on this planet... posting here like hijra instead of confronting the girl ( coz she cannot be your wife might be somebody else's wife ) because she might beat you up
Men are foolish
Be smart dumbass, how have you been letting this go on n for 7 years?
Tell her u lost job & stay home for 2 months … her true colours will come out