I don't know where to begin, but I think I need to tell my story because I feel like I'm drowning, and I genuinely don't know how to move forward anymore. I'm a 36 yr old woman. The last two years of my life have completely broken me, and I don't recognize myself anymore. A little over two years ago, I met someone I genuinely believed I would spend my life with. I loved him with everything I had. We were together for almost two years. We both were from different caste. I used to ask him difficult questions because I wanted certainty. He ways convinced me and begged me to stay and stay. But he couldn't stand up to his family. I wanted someone who would choose me despite the difficulties because I had already experienced so much loss in my life. I kept on telling him I don't want to waste my time. Please leave if you are not ready. But he never listened. One day I saw a text from his mom to buy a gift for a girl they have arranged for marriage. He just said.."ok mummy". And after a while he got married. My life in this time took a turn I never imagined. I was diagnosed with cancer. Within a very short period, my entire life changed. I underwent major surgery, chemotherapy, endless blood tests, scans, hospital visits, uncertainty, fear, and physical pain that I never knew existed. The surgery also meant that I could no longer have biological children. That realization broke a part of me that I don't think has ever healed. During chemotherapy, I lost my hair. I stopped recognizing the person in the mirror. Recently, I made the mistake of looking at an Instagram page he created with his wife. It has thousands of happy pictures together. Seeing that shattered me. He texted me on the day right before he was getting married saying "i love you i wish you were there beside me" and now all I see is his happy pictures with his wife. All I could think was that he got everything I wanted love, marriage, companionship, happiness, while I was left with cancer, infertility, grief, loneliness. To make things even harder, I have already lost my parents and my brother. I don't have a family to call when I break down. There are days when I realize there isn't a single person I can call and simply cry. I recently started a new job because I had to rebuild my life from scratch. On paper, it looks like I'm moving forward. Inside, I feel completely stuck. Every morning I tell myself today will be different. Every night I somehow end up thinking about him again. I keep asking myself questions that I know nobody can answer. Why wasn't I enough? Why wasn't I chosen? Why did life become so unfair? Did I do something so terrible that I deserved all of this? Was I really such a bad partner because I wanted reassurance and commitment? I wanted to believe that maybe someone else could choose me someday. But I couldn't continue. Each time I spoke to someone new I wasn't ready. Every conversation made me think the same thing would happen again—that they would eventually leave too. Now I feel like I've given up on love. I don't even know if anyone would want someone like me anymore. I'm 36. I've survived cancer. I can't have biological children. My hair is still growing back. My confidence has disappeared. The worst part isn't even missing him anymore. It's the loneliness. It's the unfairness. It's watching someone else live the life I dreamed about while I struggle just to get through another day. I don't necessarily want him back anymore. I just want the memories to stop hurting. I want to stop checking whether he's happy. I want to stop comparing my life with his. I want to stop crying over a chapter that has already ended. I'm writing this anonymously because I don't have anyone I feel comfortable saying all of this to. So I'm asking strangers: Has anyone ever come back from this? Have you ever survived losing the person you thought you'd marry, while also dealing with illness, grief, and loneliness? How did you stop revisiting those memories every single day? How did you rebuild your confidence when you felt completely broken? How did you stop believing that your entire future had already been decided? Please don't tell me to "just move on." If it were that easy, I would have done it already. I'm looking for real experiences from people who genuinely found a way back to themselves after believing they never would. Right now, I don't need false hope. I just need to know whether healing like this is actually possible.
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💬 Comments (27)
You survived cancer, you can survive ANYTHING!!! Passing on strength and everything positive from one cancer survivor to another...feel free to connect anytime..am here
U have a won a major battle..Cancer....everything else is trivial compared to it.. Don't stress yourself...not having a biological child is ok...u can always adopt n give a life.. But for the time u take care of yourself n probably get a dog...they are best therapist... Also try doing some simple meditation, yoga... Try to divert ur mind...
You've already proved that you are a fighter. You chose to address yourself as a survivor. So why sulk over a man who isn't on the same page with you. Move on. You will surely meet people who are interested in you. Let it happen organically. Meanwhile, step out and volunteer to do something for the society. Focus on underprivileged kids, if the thought of not being able to have kids is weighing you down. Keep yourself occupied and slowly these negative thoughts will give way to hope and positivity. Hugs!
Every suffering will be short and has time line. Your time will come too soon. Connect with like minded people.
You are a fighter and a survivor. It's a god's way of putting it out loud for you to know that it wasn't the right match and you have to fight it out to stay in this battle. Consider this as your second innings and live your life by completing your bucket list and travel until you drop. God bless you and keep smiling
Dear pls don't worry ..learn sudarshan kriya from art of living ...it will greatly help you to come out of these traumas..if possible also take meru chikitsa sessions ...you will surely come out of it..
Big achievers face big challenges... I have gone through years of tough times and can't get over the exact feeling of why me ? Why life is so unfair only to me ? Answers come in different phases but during the thick of dark times , understanding through astrology helped me to go through bad times as part of karma ( everyone go through during different phases of life ) .. you can't really solve anything using astrology but the bad times are kind of predestined and it happens for almost everyone in different times makes you feel life is fair in some strange way though we can't find the map... Bad things happen together because of bad times .. similarly good things will also come together... Surviving is the only job for you, but just trying to survive makes life very hard... So aim for living a little better than yesterday but measure the day whether you have survived it through... This too shall pass..
You are a tough girl. When you survived cancer, You can pass from this phase of life as well easily. Just give it sometimes. I can't help you to make you any better emotionally but I can help you managing at least your financials in a better way. Who knows things will turn around slowly for you.
I am sorry to hear this , being a cancer survivor I can relate to the questions you have , it's been 2 yrs but i still have these same questions , The past will always seem great compared to the new life and the new life will be much harder to accept . Feel free to connect ..
Spirituality can help you to come out of this situation, learn meditation, sending you lots of love
No one can say anything which can make you feel better, it was not at all your mistake whatever happened, just think after marriage if he got to know about your cancel then he might left you that would be more painful so just accept the situation and start loving yourself start spending time wherever and whomsoever you like just be in the moment i know this cant be done overnight but trying is worth for happy future.
Life is never easy . . . It's time to move on now the past is in the past now, u have been given life again so plz dnt dwell on the past and look forward when the time is right u will find someone who will love u for who u r soo smile and take 1 day at a time 🙂
You are allowed to break down, feel the grief, cry, all of it. Don’t consider yourself weak because of it. Just don’t let it consume you. Feel it and let it pass. You don’t have to be strong all the time. The only thing to believe and hope for is what is meant for you will eventually come to you sooner or later. Sending you warm hugs and to let you know, you are not alone. 🫂❤️
Nothing u can do about whatever happened . Difficult as it seems . Move on .
I think doing meditation and keeping yourself busy will get through this phase and so something better is there for you ..keep that thought in your mind and you will flourish. Good luck!
Prayer works. Ask god to help you . To heal you from all this things🙏🏻
Honestly.. felt really sad on reading this. But tell me something . Why are you not proud of yourself that you survived cancer? Why are you not proud of yourself for loving someone wholeheartedly? Why are you not thinking of yourself as a highly strong person who faced all these without having close ones by your side? Don't you ever see in the mirror and realize that you belong to this rare percentage of people who could do that... Miss perfect.. buckle up.. others don't need to advise you when you have already survived everything alone. Chin up.. you are more than enough for yourself. All that has gone away from you will be found in the near future in expected and unexpected ways when you just accept yourself as a unique, courageous lady who should be proud of herself every time she thinks of herself or sees her in the mirror. Treat yourself with the highest amount of care that you reserved for others. Good luck Miss perfect. Hugs and prayers for you 🙏
You are a wonder my dear......when you have enough money you can adopt a child. Everyone comes alone and everyone will go alone from this world so just chill .....my dear
Well this scenario about marriage - had seen in past many girls facing this...You will surely come out of it...God has given you second chance in life dear...Live it to the fullest...Dont cry for him...Happiness comes from inside..Listen some self confidence , self love affirmations...Mark my words you will be proud of your journey and would be grateful that you didnt quit...and adopt sweet baby dear and be a wonderful mother
Life have different phases buzz me for any help
I suggest you go to an old age home or orphanage whenever you have free time so that you can feel that there are people suffering more than you, which can make you thankful and also have a sense of belonging to these people and have every relationship which you have lost/don't have
Wouldn't bore you with my story, because you've already battled and won worse, so hold your head high and look around, you will find everything you seek
You have survived cancer. You will come out of this too. Every dog has its day. Prayers for you 🙏🏻
This too shall pass ...you survived cancer
This is one of the most sad confessions. I have ever seen. Try and live a little. Stop watching the previous guy. Connect with old friends. Go foreign. Search for a purpose.Adopt a kid.
Tons of courages to you! Just one thing bothered me, that guy msgd you saying love you, while still marying that next girl. Betrayal to two girls! This guy is a shit. His wife must know this! If its kalyug, and you paid the price of allot of things , i think thoda to return the favour krna banta h. Lately he is just faking his love to current wife! Her wife must know this, thats it.
Sorry to say but people like you are always jealous of others thats y no one wants to be with negative person like you