30M , I have been married for two years, and we still haven't planned to have children. Before my marriage, I was in a serious relationship with my girlfriend. I truly wanted to marry her, but because of my family's pressure and emotional manipulation, I couldn't. Eventually, I married someone else. After my marriage, I genuinely tried my best to move on from my ex, but I couldn't. Even after two years, I still don't have real feelings for my wife. Throughout these two years, I have been pretending to love her, even though I don't feel that love inside. Living like this has been mentally exhausting and feels like torture. About a year ago, I met my ex again. She also hasn't been able to move on, and she is still unmarried. Since then, we have been meeting frequently. Whenever I am with her, I feel genuinely happy. Every time we meet, I regret not standing up to my parents and marrying her. I often think about how different and happier my life could have been. My wife truly loves me, and that makes everything even more difficult. I never wanted to hurt her, so I kept pretending that I loved her too. However, sometimes the amount of love and affection she shows me makes me feel irritated, even though she has done nothing wrong. There have been times when I lost my temper and spoke harshly to her, and afterward I felt guilty and regretted it. She doesn't deserve that, but I still find it difficult to respond to her love because I simply don't feel the same way. Even during intimate moments with my wife, I don't feel emotionally connected to her. Instead, my ex comes to my mind. This makes me feel like I am being unfair to my wife. Living like this every day has become unbearable. I have been thinking about divorce because I don't want to continue like this. However, divorce is not an easy decision, and I don't even know how I could explain the real reason to my family or to her. I feel trapped. All of this has pushed me into depression and emotional trauma.I still haven't been able to forget my ex. I feel completely lost and don't know what to do next. pls suggest me how to proceed further thank you
Share your thoughts anonymously.
ℹ️ Your comment will be posted publicly on Facebook if it complies with our community guidelines.
💬 Comments (83)
If u invited ur wife to ur life That's ur responsibility to her. People's true colour is seen only When u stay with them. What everyone needs is a responsible partner Only then love has a value to it.
Time heals everything..you should take time .... What if marrying ur ex will not work too later..... So respect what God has chosen for you .... You only need time it would be better if in the past you could take a stand but now u should think about what is in the present...rest ur choice
Leave her, you deserve someone pretty and she deserves someone who loves her.
U have intentionally complicated you situation by meeting your ex after marriage. In India, love and marriages are mutually exclusive, understand that if you have married your love then also after 5 years you will feel the same.
u deserve siya goyals love
Make your wife as x and x as your wife ....
Follow our ancestors marry both , keep two wives , 10 children
How will you forget your ex when you keep meeting her and thinking about her? Decide what you want and then follow through. If you want to be with your ex- divorce your wife, she deserves better. If you don't or can't divorce your wife, let your ex go for good. Don't meet her, contact her, keep yourself busy, engage in the activities which require lots of your attention. Gradually, your mind will think less about her. Don't force yourself to not love your ex or to love your wife. Just focus on keeping your mind busy, so that it thinks less about your ex and focus on developing genuine friendships with your wife. Watch a comedy series with her, go on walk, help her in her work at home. You may be not ready to love her but at least respect her love and don't do anything which breaks her trust. Gradually, time will come where your ex won't be taking up your mental and marriage space. But you need to decide and act on it You can't keep meeting her and think about saving your marriage.
People say chutiya all the time just to curse someone they hate. I always used to wonder how chutiya looks. But today I saw that chutiya has posted something. Please share a picture of you brother. My life will start having a meaning after looking at your picture.
Here's something to ponder. Given the existing database of confessions of this page, any half decent competent AI would already be able to churn such content and auto submit indefinitely.
Have 2 wifes
Be honest with ur wife first. Don't keep her in dark
When a big thing happened in life we have to accept it and move on...you are married and had a wonderful wife, it happened and you have to accept it. You want to live in past and in dreams, come out of it and enjoy your life.
Relationship before marriage=Affair Relationship after marriage= Cheating. Hope you know that. Leave your wife. She doesn't deserve the way you are treating her. You can't keep them both.
Better you ask Your Wife Whether she have Ex. Past Current ready to Mingle 😂😅🤣
What if she does the same and what solution do you give her and take it as solution for yourself
Let's suppose your sister's husband has done the same and also he wants to divorce your sister, what would be your reaction? Do you expect divorce for your sister? No so your wife is your wife, if you can't imagine ruining your sister's life you should also think not to ruin your wife's life.
Always hard to forget first crush and love they will be in corner of heart till end
This is a specialty in India that people find it easier to spoil their or their partners life after marriage / plot and kill their partner rather than standing up to their own parents forcing them. Second , girlfriend/boyfriend seems very exciting until they become your spouse . So there is no guarantee that you are gonna have a fruitful life with your girlfriend after marriage
You don't like your wife but will be intimate with her ?! Huh 🤣🤣
No one makes all the decisions on his her life . Sometimes it best to accept the decision of god . Your wife loves u , man up and accept things as they are ...
First don't reveal your mind and heart to any known one including your wife, two, stop any contact with your ex immediately (if you want send a polite text to her), third take a break from all these for 6 months, and fourth, try to be grateful for what you have in life and work upon your mind and heart not to be distracted with your past and particularly ex (remember she was and is exploring better options than you).
If you didn't feel any love on your wife, then how can you have sex with her......? After marriage, if you were avoiding into physical relationship, your wife might be complaining about this to her parent. They might think that you are an impotent. Then, your wife may seek divorce. But, you might be endup in paying heavy alimony. But, you entered into physical relationship but not feeling love......!!! She is your legal wife..... who came to your home with authority, responsibility and legal rights on you, your salary, your asset on your lifetime and others too. What will happen if your curren wife didn't marry anyone after divorce, incase of divorce? Will you divorce your lover ( future wife, incase of marriage)?
U people , y don't you be stubborn and get married to the loved person. Instead you are destroying the one who is true to you. This applicable both to men and women. If this happens , half the confession will reduce in this page.
I feel sad for your wife.
I feel sad for your wife and your ex, not for you. You still have someone by your side, but your ex is the one who was left alone. Imagine the amount of pain she must have gone through just because you couldn’t stand by her. People like you don’t deserve love. Spending years in a relationship and then, in the end, using family as an excuse to walk away quietly from the responsibility, sorry, but that’s unfair.
Why you are spoiling your wife's life.She truly loving you.why you choose to marry her..
Man you are ball less. Don't dig up the past. Move forward. Try to connect with your wife. Flirt with her, go on dates and most importantly forget your ex. She may be lying to you who knows.
Jus ignore all suggestions n recommendations from pseudofeminist ppl here in group. You are not the only one who is facing it, there are many .....but let me tell u, had u been married to ur x, there was no guarantee that it would have gone great. Again, ur wife loves u a lot and u do get intimate with her. If u can make out with her then u can move away from ur x. At times few decisions are gud for both u n ur x.
Sethudu.
counselling is the best ...
Convert yourself and marry your ex. Don’t divorce your wife. Stay with both. Both of them will be happy
You should stay with the one who loves you! Choosing to live with the one you love may not turn out like you imagine it to be! Plus, if you divorce your wife and get married to your ex, you family may never forgive you and accept your new wife! So be realistic and move on! Stop cheating on your wife! Cut all ties to your ex and tell her to move on too! Because two things are there: a) you did not stand up to your parents back then, why to defy them now? And b) if your ex was not meant to be your wife, then its not in your stars!! So accept your fate and deal with it! Stop being a ninny!!
Take help from Vasanth Rāmadurai he is experienced in this situation Cc Karthik Aithal Rohit Gurnani
Marriage is scary what if he is a gadhach**** like this
Jab Krna tha tab to kuch nhi kiya ab kyu kisi ki zindagi kharab kr rahe ho wife ke sath he rehna chaiye apko
U will suffer much.more because u have betrayed ur innocent wife's life Remember u will never be happy because u have cheated both
तुम अपनी ex से मिल रहे हो चल रहा हैं, जिस दिन तुम्हारी पत्नी अपने Ex से मिल आएगी फिर तुम नीले ड्रम में मिलोगे 🤣🤣
Milly Chandra 🫠dori hobe? Jhulbo ..
Shubam Sabherwal bhai defend nahi kiya aapne ? Aap toh past is past ke masiha ho na? 😜🫵
Ask your wife. Definitely she will have a Ex. Now comes the solution. Ask her Ex to marry your Ex. Step 2. Send your wife to your Exes Ex who is the husband of your EX now. Step 3 .bring your ex to your house. All live together in the same room if single BHK or 2 rooms. All problems solved. Now if your wife has more than One Ex.. 🤔🤔🤔. You need to have a time table
,,two options. hi there leave your wife and go back to your girlfriend for stay with your wife and leave your girlfriend forever.
Neha Averagefbuser
Trust me, if you had married your ex (mistress, right now) you also would had felt love lessness in that marriage too. Reason, we men often take things for granted, as your case shows. Your current mistress is not easily available, that makes you feel connected. Just reverse the time role of your wife and mistress, you will feel love for your wife too. Rest is up to you, that you want to live peacefully or give alimony 😌
Past matters 🤬 Rnda
Honestly Speaking god Knows why your ex is even entertaining you.You did not even take a stand for her & married her..Ghar walo ka itna pressure tha toh bolna tha mujhe shaadi hi nahi karni kisi aur se..May be after a While woh maan bhi jate.Apni wife ki life spoil karke kya mil raha hai she is nowhere responsible for your Trauma.Blame yourself or your family..Either Stick to your ex & leave your wife or leave your ex & Stick to your wife..You can't Sail in both the boats together.For God Sake don't plan kids for now.
You need counseling bro,you need to forget your past after getting married and move ahead positively,but here you seem to be still struck in your past,something not acceptable.so hope good sense prevail and you move on with your loving wife🙏🏼
By giving into your parents you have complicated for life even more, if then you stood strong then you didn’t have to go through all this now. In this situation please don’t even think of a child. I think now you emotionally black your parents into divorce that’s the best for all of you
Stop meeting your ex
Move other place! Atleast let tat ex be happy.. somewhere
Dnt marry on the rebound it’s the worst thing u can ever do…..
Ye sabne ex ex kya laga rakkha hai ? Mistress ha wo ab iski , extra marital affair kar rakkha hai isne , ex nahi hai wo
This is exactly what happens when parents are adamant and the son or daughter doesn't have the courage to stand up to them. Now three lives are suffering. I don't want to shame you. I genuinely feel sorry for you. You must be going through a terrible time. If you think divorce is inevitable, do it sooner rather than later. You're only 30. The longer you wait, the harder it will become. Think about your wife too. Delaying it will only make it harder for her to move on and remarry. There isn't an easy solution. Either accept your marriage and cut your ex off completely Or get a divorce, stand up to your family, marry your ex, and move on. If you try to hold on to both, you'll only make things worse and ruin the lives of two women.
You are the reason " why women kill " on a lighter note..
You are betraying ur wife n remove ur ex from all ur thinkings. U r in dilemma n Bec of that somebody is suffering
Past does matter
It's ok bro. Just keep two - gharwali and baharwali. Have an affair with ur ex keep ur wife at home. If ur wife comes too close to u just abuse and beat her. It's her mistake that she married you. And remember guys, past doesn't matter 🙂
💜 Looking for a meaningful connection? Join ThirtyFound — a modern Indian matrimony platform built for genuine relationships. ✨ Verified profiles ✨ Smart matchmaking ✨ Privacy-first 🚀 Early access is now open. thirtyfound.com #ThirtyFound #Matrimony #Shaadi #FindYourForever
Dur k dhol suhane , karma will hit you back You were coward, you are coward
You are stupid, you should have had a spine to marry your loved one against your parents, already you are spineless and now ruining other girls life also. It is not a trap for you , it is a trap for the one who married you...
Your cowardliness destroyed another life. I hope she takes some heavy ransom for playing with her.
Divorce that wife..give her enough money...move on with your girlfriend...be a man for once...
Poor wife,,she did nthin wrong..loved a spineless sorry excuse of a man with all her heart.. she is either being cheated or would be left heart broken!! Be ashamed of urself!!
Reading it made me feel you are a big a**hole. You made up your mind and decided to marry an innocent soul. Instead of moving on, you went ahead and met your ex and continuing talking to her. What a disloyal and selfish fellow you are! I feel so sorry and bad for the beautiful soul called your wife for marrying such a devil of a person. You don’t deserve all these goodness of a good wife. You have cheated on both the women and I simply feel disgusted to read your so called ‘trauma’. May you burn in hell and I wish you don’t see peace in your life. I hope God save your wife from a disloyal selfish megalomaniac devil which is you!
Don't ruin your wife's life,on second thought you already ruined her life because of your spinelessness. Divorce her & go f*ck yourself because you are not man enough to keep a wife.
Spineless C#u*iya hai tu. Why are you even existing? Now you're thinking of divorce? Did your parents tie you up and got you married? Do your parents force you to be intimate with your wife? Then why did you waste her life? And instead of being ashamed you are crying here like your life is tragic? When you meet your ex you don't think of your parent??
People like you should suffer like this only 🙌🏻. #karma Please get a divorce, your wife deserves better
You don't have love for your wife, but you enjoy sex ??? now you use two women projecting yourself as an innocent man. Shut the fuck up. how can you touch that girl without having feelings for her. and now showcasing urself as innocent.
You and your lover has simply destroyed the life of your wife. What's her fault?
As a man you can’t stand up for your decisions why are you blaming your parents for your mistake and now spoiling lives of two women. You want to have the cake and eat it too. I hope your wife finds out and she leaves you and your ex finds a good man who will stand up for her and not run away like a coward
This is called being spineless. You can’t love someone being spineless. Also you put everyone lives at risk by being this way.
It’s disgusting to have an extra marital affair , may you and your girlfriend never find happiness
She deserves a better life partner than a crappy person like you
"Truly wanted to marry her but couldn't due to emotional manipulation from my family" Mamma's good boy. Now kill yourself. For destroying the life and happiness of your innocent wife. Even your ex is no less guilty. Another day, why the past matters for both genders.
U r very selfish I feel . U have spoilt 2 people's life. If u were in love u should not have married this person. U r playing with the feelings of ur wife who has not done any mistake . Ur wife will be better off without u
Listen motherboard this isn't correct if u are trying to balance then stop meeting your ex. And moreover u are an emotional fool.
Oops...I think ur ex is least bothered....move on child!
Such an @ssh*ole. I am out of words. 😡😡
Stupidity
And convert everyone you wife and ex everything will be normal 😌👐🏻
OMG it's so simple, both your wife and your ex doesn't deserve a spineless man like you. Best is to tell your wife the truth and divorce her. Atleast she will marry someone who truly loves her and protects her.
Believe me, life would be so much better if we don't get to meet cowards like you
Give your wife a divorce and go back to your ex, spineless moron, couldn't stand up to your family, now can't come clean to wife. Ruining so many lives at once!