Hi everyone, I need to share this because I don't have anyone I can talk to about it in person. I'm posting here anonymously just to vent. I'm not even sure if I'm looking for advice or simply a place to express how I feel. I'm 33 years old, married for 10 years, and have a 4-year-old daughter. Lately, I feel completely exhausted and frustrated. My husband has erectyle disfunction. He suffers from a nerve problem, which I wasn't fully aware of before marriage. For the last four years, we haven't had a physical relationship at all. Even before that, intimacy was very limited and lasted only a minute or so. Almost every night, I go to bed feeling lonely and often cry myself to sleep. Over time, I have lost the emotional connection I once had with him. I supported him from the beginning and tried to help, but he never seemed to treat the issue as something that needed medical attention. He never actively sought treatment. He is a good and gentle person. I know he would stand by me during difficult times, and he always has. But he rarely puts effort into making me feel special or nurturing our relationship. I feel like I've become the "man of the house." I make all the decisions, solve all the problems, plan everything, and carry most of the responsibility. I'm tired. The situation is now affecting my daughter. She copies my behavior and has become loud and stubborn. She doesn't listen to anyone, especially not her father. He never corrects her when she does something wrong, so I end up being the strict parent all the time. My husband tells me that her behavior comes from me, and honestly, I know there's some truth in that. But I wish he understood why I've become this way. When my daughter was young, I spent countless sleepless nights caring for her while my husband often slept in a different room. Later, when he had a major L4-L5 surgery, no one from either family came to help. I managed everything on my own while working full-time and taking care of a two-year-old child. We argue about almost everything. He doesn't take care of his health, doesn't exercise, and spends most of his time sitting. I'm the opposite—I try to stay active, go to the gym, read books, watch movies, and keep improving myself. I've tried hard to shift my focus and build a life beyond these frustrations. But there's still a void inside me. Whenever my daughter misbehaves or shouts, that feeling becomes even stronger. I start wondering what I'm doing wrong and how much of this is my fault. How do I become more patient with my daughter? How do I stop carrying so much anger and frustration into my parenting? Please don't make fun of me. I'm genuinely struggling and feeling devastated.
Share your thoughts anonymously.
ℹ️ Your comment will be posted publicly on Facebook if it complies with our community guidelines.
💬 Comments (22)
Ask your husband to take responsibility. He cannot just sit and be there doing nothing. You're burnt out and your physical needs aren't being met and that's becoming frustrating for you, just like any other healthy human being. Hire domestic help, don't try to make everything perfect, watch kdramas and buy toys. Thank me later.
It's time to enhance yourself, grow up, not just worldly wise, but internally. This is exactly the definition of mid life crisis what you've described.... It's what's called time to do some internal searching, what life is all about, becoz ppl are so busy in worldly matters and career and family, they never have really given themselves time. The real thing was missed in doing and chasing all of life chores, untill reality tries to wake up, so it's a warning bell, to spend time for your soul, midlife crisis means nothing else..... Forget all these minor sexual, and daughter being loud issues, real reason is you need to find yourself. Here comes yoga, spiritual quest, reading shastras, or going to pilgrimage, even making a Guru to be the guide to pave way for the journey to other shore....
The reason why women are choosing to live single, not marry or get a divorce and live happily than suffer and called gold digger .
I can understand its obvious to become like this way but it is not at all healthy in long run so you also take medical help to calm yourself, you can opt for homopathy as it help very well with hormonal issues which you definitely have and yoga will also help, for your husband what can i suggest if have a common friend who can persuade him to take medical advise will help.
go for counselling ... cbt therapy will help ... also look take some metime and relax your self ... I can understand That your husband went through big surgery of L4 and L5 which has effects on his health , but you need to make him do his exerciises or he would loose his ability to walk too .. So be calm .. go for counselling or some yoga classes where you can cool down ...
I think that’s because of your physical needs . You can get a viberator , many women are choosing a viberator now a days
You're carrying the responsibilities of two parents while also dealing with years of emotional loneliness. It's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I hope your husband agrees to seek medical help and that you both consider counseling. You deserve to feel loved, supported, and heard.
You can change anyone in this planet so instead of trying do what is needed for your happiness 😊.. shouting using abusive harsh words will not only get worsened with time . Today your daughter is small but a few years later these will be seen very clearly in her behaviour which will give you more pain. Therapies works very well only when you accept it willingly.
1. Get full body check up done. Get package which has Thyroid profile, B12, D. Tata 1mg is good. 2. Take report to any MBBS+ doctor. 3. Take medication if needed. 4. Write down what all you are getting from this marriage? 5. Are you sharing finances? Or is husband taking full 100% responsibility of all expenses? 6. Do you have your own savings, only in your name? 7. Can you raise child on your own? 8a. If yes then divorce. 8b. If no then check if your husband is ok with open marriage (beware this might bring emotional complications). 8c. If both a and b are not an option then masturbate, buy toys, self pleasure. STOP treating your husband as 'husband'. Treat him as roommate with whom you have produced and raising child. Divide [finances]-[chores+child rearing] 50-50 or 70-30 or 100-100. Caring for Old parents will be own responsibility.
Usko bas ghar me guest ki tarah treat karo! Apna aur apni daughter ka dhyan rakho! Manage everything, CONTROL everything!! Apna upper hand rakho, usse bhido mat kisi bhi baat pe. Basically leave him sort of alone! He seems to be a careless selfish person to me! Stop expecting his support. He is a weak person.....you cannot depend on him for anything. Long run me aapki apni soojh boojh hi kaam ayegi aapkr
You need therapy for sure to come out of this..
If u r from Hyd I can help u out physically
ED can be perfectly cured. He needs treatment and definitely try alternative medicine for faster results plus ask him to diet and exercise. If he doesn't listen to you, take him to a counsellor and a doctor to make him realise what he's missing out on.
Time to move on to a real man
Mam ..it's not Ur issue it's all coming bcoz of your body need ..I m against extra marital affair . But now I think u should go for it .. Or get smbody new in your life for future but hidden ..u cannot live your life emotionless from inside physical is need no body can get rid of that but how u hv to see I suggested two options ..choose wisely n it's not so hard ..
Thanks to the third wave of feminism. Women professor warned Europe: https://youtu.be/2hnPL3DpIj4
Friendship any marriage group here please suggest me some marriage group I m Looking female friend for marriage or long term any alone female here who wants to be comfortable with benefits secret friendship full privacy dedicated ping me
You're carrying the responsibilities of two parents while also dealing with years of emotional loneliness. It's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I hope your husband agrees to seek medical help and that you both consider counseling. You deserve to feel loved, supported, and heard.
Marriage is scary in this generation.. 😔
You're carrying the responsibilities of two parents while also dealing with years of emotional loneliness. It's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I hope your husband agrees to seek medical help and that you both consider counseling. You deserve to feel loved, supported, and heard.
U need a therapist
To be honest...for your husband ED erectile dysfunction is not a big problem or major issue it may be treated and curable...after marriage i was suffering from ED timing errection premature problems and i wasted my money by many so called Hakims or doctors at last I got result by an Expert doctor in hyderabad telangana he is very experienced knowledgeable qualified in all male personal problem and many proples are cured and shifa in his hands. DR HASAN Hasan herbal clinic Patel nagar , nampally, hyderabad, telangana FREE CONSULTATION https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1aKAFEy1m4/