Hi everyone, I need your honest advice. I am a 35-year-old guy, never married, and I have been working in Africa for the last 12 years. It is very hard for me to find a girl because no one wants to move to Africa with me. In April, a 37-year-old girl connected with me through a Facebook marriage group. We talked, met in person, and became physically close. Our vibes matched really well and she is completely ready to move to Africa with me. Because she was ready to settle with me in Africa, we planned to get married this July. But a few days ago, she confessed a huge secret. She was married before in 2022, left her husband in 2024, and is still legally married and waiting for a divorce. She hid this from me the whole time. She said she lied because she was afraid to lose me. When I found out the truth, I told her I could not marry her. Now, she has sent me a screenshot of a WhatsApp text showing her husband is finally ready to sign the divorce papers. She is crying, calling me non-stop, and begging me to wait 1 or 2 months for her to clear the paperwork. I am completely confused: I feel she is a good person who just had a bad past and lied because she loves me. Plus, she is the only girl ready to move to Africa with me. But my family is completely against this because she lied to me, and a legal divorce in court usually takes a very long time. I am under huge stress because I have to return to Africa alone soon, and I am worried that my colleagues at work will laugh at me for returning single. Should I completely back off, or should I trust her and wait for her legal divorce? Please give me your honest advice. Thank you.
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💬 Comments (72)
"She lied because she was afraid to lose me" is one of my favorite lines 🤣😂 Sorry I laughed at that Won't say anything. Ur life, ur choice
Bro go for live in relationship .if it worked then think about marriage .take her with u SA
Before marriage she told everything ..if she confesses after marriage what will you do? Wait for some more time, know the reason for divorce, talk with her ex husband and make decision.
Wait for her.... May Almighty bless you both with a happy married life..... You family won't be able to come to Africa... And no one will be ready to marry you later.....
Let her finish paper work and join you in Africa. What's so big a deal here.
when you made decision of not marrying her ... so thats your decision , whats more to decide for you ... Of course she cannot be married legally until she is not divorced ...
First find the reason why she is getting a divorce. Do some enquiry from her friends or co-workers ....Second let her complete the divorce settlement legally...dont rush
Advice is ... Don't marry her... Always Remember... Mistakes are part of human nature, but lying about it or hiding it is a conscious decision...so if someone is making such decisions... It's part of their charecter...who knows what skeletons could be hiding in the closet... So step back and live a happy life... Focus on yourself and self enhancement... If Love is meant to find its way towards you... It'll inevitably... If it's not... Then it'll never... Hope you make a wise decision..🙂
Trust and Loyalty are two important factors in any relationship with or without love.
Marry her
Can give one chance as you don't have any other option..so go ahead n take her to SA and live for some months. Comfortable then marry her.
Do you know the reason for divorce?
Whatever Happened in the past let it be Buried now ... She Loves you is what matters the Most . Accept her and start your new Journey .
A leopard does not change it's spots. You walking on water here
Find out the truth from her ex as well
That's why they say " men are so simple"
Women usually don't 'hide' such details 🤔 Compared to men, women are usually upfront and transparent. This is definitely not a 'normal' girl 🧐 "She left her husband" What was the reason/s she "left" him? Did she demand alimony or maintenance? Was there a police case or litigation? After you get all the above info, tell her you'd like to speak to her ex. Not "I'd like to verify with him". Not "I'd like to confirm with him". Just "I'd like to speak to your ex" If she has nothing to hide, she will not object. Listen man....if you are going to hand your life, your assets, your ancestral assets to a woman you met online, the least you should do is check her background. Btw, your colleagues will not laugh at you, they will respect you for having the courage to take the right decision and for not impulsively falling into a trap like many young men do, and regret all their lives.
Being divorced person doesn't mean you bad ,just people make bad choices. Maybe ex husband unfaithful, abusive.
Bhai africa me pahad ho to udhar bula le warna khud India aa jao ! Final verdict to ho gaya hain🤣🤣
She basically had an affair with you while being married. And it’s not ok to hide even if she was already divorced it’s a huge thing to hide about being married.
Let her first get divorce from her husband. Understand how much alimony she is demanding and decide. If possible, help her husband get divorce without paying alimony. Get clarity on these: Does she have kids too? Does she have only one husband? Which country in Africa, rules of the country? I would suggest you to find a girl from the country you are gonna live.
You can perform a temple ritual.. later after all her formalities are over, go legal
As you said she is the only girl ready to go to Africa then it's the best deal you can get 😄
Don't get married because someone will laugh at you. If you want to see where things go wait. Anyway you just can't rush and marry random people. But before getting married you should do some research. All the best
Getting a good lovable, non-cheating wife is a prize, to be relished. Your reasons for her hiding the truth and then suddenly confess, without any risk from your side, is possibly correct ("that she did not want to lose you."). In such a case, I would advise you to wait for her final divorce decree.
Take more time to understand her and understand whether she is genuinely love you or just behind your assets so dont be in hurry for marriage or breakup at all
Buddy You are in Your Life’s prime. She is like a flame that shines brighter before it’s going out forever. You can get better choices.Just look into the right group of people.
Your family is correct, don't be impulsive
What if this is an ex parte divorce it will be ugly
Do you love this girl? If yes. Then nothing else matters
Check everything, if it's a single lie or u will get multiple lies, contact her ex partner so u have clear seen of every side of her
Don't marry her, if you people ready for she need to inform you everything why hiding
Aurat ke chakkar mein mat padho... Ache ache barbad hogaye...
Trust her and your inner voice and go for it , God bless u
37 year old is a woman not a girl and she kept her marital status hidden? Not a sensible thing to do. Whether you will wait or back off no one else can suggest. Please find out why she and her husband are parting ways. In your hurry to 'marry' someone do not end up in a mess. What will your colleagues say are secondary concerns. As you keep reading, hearing things are going downhill for people a LOT these days never get into serious relationships in a hurry. Also, I personally know multiple people who have moved to Africa and have more than comfortable life with staff and big houses..why is no one interested in a marriage because of your work location? Do you stay in a combat zone?
When people lie about something this important, there's usually more to the story than meets the eye. And why was she even on a Facebook marriage group before finalizing her divorce? That's a red flag. Best case scenario, she was genuinely afraid of being judged. Unfortunately, a lot of people lie about past relationships because of that fear. But broken trust isn't easy to rebuild. If honesty is something you value above all else, you'll probably always struggle to fully trust her. If you're someone who also lies out of fear, you may be able to understand and forgive her. Before making any further decisions, do your own research. There could be more skeletons in the closet that you don't know about.
Its not about her having a past. Its sbout her lying the whole time. If she can do it once, she can do it again. Honesty and Trust are huge factors in a good marriage, trust saves marriage during bad phases, trust and respect come handy when love feels insufficient. She lost that trust already. She has already shown that she can break a trust again if she gains something out of it.
Tell ur family you were physically intimate with her. So now you too have a past, a bit hidden though
Kindly stay away from her.
Have some patience and wait for her..
Come to me instead, let's chat am already in Africa my dear,27 years
Complete back off.
No one would lie to you if he or she loves you...first of all... I think by 35 everyone of us knows it already ..
Of course you shouldn't marry her
You are real life Paparappa Manoj 🤪🤣
Don't marry her, why she didn't cleared everything before dating you. She will come up with more lies after marriage m sure.
Marry her and take her along
Have patience ..she will support u more than other girls ..hv belief in her but get out the reason why he divorced take papers from court to find out ..if it's like she cannot become mother in future or any physically challenged inside ..don't marry Bcoz it will make ur life worse ..she is in need so she will be like ur servant or caretakers but here it's marriage so don't be in hurry ..
See. I don't see any problem of her being a divorcee. Regarding a lie. Sometimes we are too afraid to confront them especially in broken marriages. Wait for her until her divorce proceedings settle. Talk with her and marry her, explain your expectations clearly. It is hard to find someone who loves you. I think you should give her a chance to express herself. Don't listen to the advice of foolish people below. They are themselves single or unhappy in their marriage. As a lawyer, I'm giving you genuine advice. You won't get any other woman who can move to Africa. I can assure you that. If she is ready to move, it means she really cares about you. Give this relationship a chance. Mistakes sabse hoti h.
Red flag please listen your family decision
Gadhe jo mil raha hai 35 ki age me lele ,warna ye bhi ni milega
If you love her, wait for her. Seems like a good person.
ऐसा है चिचा, जो मिल्लरा है वो ले ल्यो. शुक्राणु घट रे हैं ओर उमर बढ़री हैं. हब्शियो से बचा के रखना.
Till 35y you need rush why rush now. Wait till 55y
Marry her
Marry her
Don't marry her
Don't marry
Red flag
Friendship any marriage group here please suggest me some marriage group I m Looking female friend for marriage or long term any alone female here who wants to be comfortable with benefits secret friendship full privacy dedicated ping me
don't rush to judgement. she might have been too afraid to take that step until she was sure you will be there. talk to her more. btw, where in africa are you? heard in many countries, there is a sizable indian community.
Wait for her..
Duh, u started by crying no one wants u, this girl surprisingly wants to be with you, wait for the divorce see the proof and then marry her.
Its ok to be a divorcee, its not okay to be a liar . She had multiple chances to tell you but waited till you were completely hooked . A relationship on the foundation of a lie. Huge red flag.🚩
Wait for her
What if she is toxic & her husband asked for divorce ? Hiding a marriage itself is a monumental crime she has done … Search for another girl bro !
As a girl I can 100% say shez fooling you. You are desparate and shes taking advantage. Run away from red flag
Don't marry her , she is already 37, most probably her chances of being pregnant(becoming mother) is less compared to lesser aged girls.......why do you want to feed and provide shelter to a girl who is of no use and adds no value to your life......
You're too naive to believe her divorce story
Better to drop.. She is not trust worthy.. just because nobody is willing to move to Africa, doesnt mean u marry a wrong person.. better get back to india for a year or so.. and then fly abroad again..
U won't marry her. U used her n ur coal black ass was looking for an excuse to dump her. Now, u got 1. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
If you wanna stay alive and live in peaceful life, Stay away from her even she promise you putting her @$$ on grilling charcoal.. once lied always lie