F26 I was in a relationship for three and a half years with someone I met online. From the very beginning, it was a long-distance relationship. I was living in Canada, and he was living in the United States. We also came from different castes, but that never mattered to us. In the beginning, we were very close. We spent hours talking, shared everything with each other, and built a strong connection. We supported one another through challenges, celebrated achievements together, and became an important part of each other’s lives despite the distance. After one year of being together, we met for the first time when he came to Canada. That meeting strengthened our bond even more. After that, we made efforts to meet every five to six months and spend time together whenever possible. I informed my parents about our relationship after our first meeting. My parents encouraged him to tell his family as well, but he wanted to focus on building his career first. We respected that decision and gave him the time he felt he needed. He was always honest that marriage was a big decision for him and that he wasn’t ready to make that commitment early in the relationship. We understood that. However, after around two years together, he told me that he could see a future with me. It gave me hope because it felt like we were moving towards the same goal. At the same time, he made it clear that his parents’ approval would be important because we belonged to different castes. We knew there could be challenges, but we believed our relationship was strong enough to face them. Two months ago, after three and a half years together, he finally informed his family about our relationship. Unfortunately, they rejected it immediately. They refused to meet me or get to know me personally. Despite not knowing me or my family, they formed negative opinions and decided that I was not the right match for their son. My parents even tried reaching out to them in the hope of having an open conversation and clearing any misunderstandings. However, their decision remained unchanged. What has hurt me the most is what happened afterward. During these two months, he changed completely. Instead of standing by the relationship we had built over three and a half years, he gradually gave up and eventually ended things. I never expected him to choose me over his family. I only hoped that he would stand firm, communicate with them, and give them time to understand. Family concerns and cultural differences are not resolved overnight. I believed that if he truly wanted this relationship, he would continue trying rather than ending it so quickly. Like every relationship, we had our ups and downs, but we shared a deep bond and supported each other through some of the most important years of our lives. We faced distance, career struggles, and uncertainty together. It honestly hurts to think about how I invested three and a half years in this relationship, while he took almost a year just to give clarity and commitment. And when I am asking him now to give his parents some time to understand and think about us, he is not willing to wait or try anymore. That is something I really struggle to accept, because it makes me feel like all the patience and effort from my side meant less. Today, I am not questioning his family’s decision as much as I am questioning why someone who once spoke about a future together stopped fighting for it. Sometimes relationships don’t end because there is no love left they end because one person loses the strength or willingness to keep trying.
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💬 Comments (36)
This is exactly the dark side for most men. I guess your guy wanted to score, have fun and then marry someone younger, from his own caste. Thats sad. On the flip side, i really wonder why did it take 3.5 years in first place. He wanted to build career so thats fine but after 1 year he should have informed his family. Marriage should have gotten fixed and maybe another 6 months thereon actual wedding. You would have left him in a year. Anyways story seems unclear and so his intentions. But the guy should not have taken you for granted. From the story its clear that you are family oriented and honest from the start. So he did wrong. Give it time and let things heal. Later find a good guy and live a normal happy life. Don’t worry / good things happen with good people/ this is Gods way of saving you from some trouble i guess. Think positive and move ahead !!!
Fact is your ex never wanted to marry you... Family Denial was just an excuse
Please know this, if a man truly wants something he’ll go every thing right or wrong to pursue it. Period!
After reading numerous such cases, my conclusion is - 1. Women should stop dating indian men with the intention of marriage in future 2. If you want to get married speak with your+his parents within 6 months 3. Presume anything more than that is waste of your time
From my experience with people. What I have noticed is sometimes people just talk and talk to just look good. Also in long distances relationship it's just words Less action. Thank all ur God's u didn't get married.
He was not sincere or committed, from since long, it was you who thought otherwise......you were living in non reality if not fairy tale, he kept buying time & playing along , as he had need to hurry himself to marry anyway.... So it was not a good decision not to test waters time to time, yeh toh hona hi tha
I understand how devastating this must feel. You were genuine and saw the good in him. You couldn't have known his real intentions. If after all this time and connection he was able to detach so easily, then he was never into it as deeply as he pretended to be. And honestly, if his parents' approval was that important, he should've sorted that out before dating you. Some people have a selfish, disgusting habit of not wanting to fully commit but giving just enough hope to string the other person along. When a man truly wants a woman, he'll do everything in his power to fight for her. Now please don't think you did something wrong or that you lack something. You actually dodged a huge bullet. You might not realize it now, but with time, you will.
Sorry to say , he knew deep down all along this is what it is . He was just enjoying the free meal . I would advise the following 1. Take therapy and move on 2. The man when he ditched you , he also took a whole lot of your bad karma . 3. Think positive that someone wonderful is gonna step in to your life 4. The man might see you as a back up in long run - someone who he will reach to have an extra martial . So please please cut the cord with him for good . He never loved you in the first place . If there was genuine love he wouldn’t have reached out for permission after 2 years , he would have done that in the first year itself
He is well prepared and set tge answer upfront for the questions expected and tge time comes he executed. If men wants the women he will have all the strength to stand by her . He is giving excuses. Just ignore him and move forward and 100% he will come back in your life in future but just be careful.
Sometimes love isn't enough if one person stops fighting for the relationship. As painful as it is, his actions gave you the clarity his words couldn't. You deserved someone who would stand beside you, not step away when things became difficult. ❤️
True, if he wanted to continue he could have directly told his parents that’s his final decision, there were no chances to think his parents na , after marriage u guys could resolved differences
This is something that happens with many Indian men. Almost overnight, they become silent and distant, and suddenly their parents' opinion becomes the only thing that matters. In just a matter of days, they change completely, without thinking about the girl who's still waiting, hoping, and emotionally invested. Some believe they'll easily find someone "better." By the time they realize that genuine love and understanding aren't so easy to replace, it's often too late. I know this has hurt you deeply, and healing won't happen overnight. It will take time, and that's okay. But trust me, one day you'll find someone who truly loves you, values you, and prioritizes your feelings instead of leaving you questioning your worth. Time may not erase the memories, but it will heal the pain, and better days will come.
So keeping aside feminist and b@@lless dudes having a gala time here abusing men... Let's be logical.. Initially when you thought that caste would be a problem, the ideal solution should be stepping away right then and there, not drag your feet believing in a fairy tale ending, that's stupidity on your part. Next, you need at max of 3-4 months lead time, for analysis and getting to know each other, that's it period. Then it's family involvement and serious marriage discussion, no further spending time or going out and definitely not spreading legs. Now be it a man or woman if they're tiptoeing here and bringing excuses, then they're useless and your wasting time chasing a dying dream. It's nothing to do with men or women. It's how humans are. If someone knows it's a dead investment they'll try to squeeze out the maximum benefit they can before they inevitably leave you. Take this as a lesson now. Focus on yourself and be happy alone, if anything is meant to happen it'll. Don't go chasing people asking or begging for companionship or love.
Ma'am he was committed, but when the parents come into the picture everything gets blown apart. I have faced the same thing,
This was already coming.. Whoever says despite being into a relationship that agar Parents ha bolenge then only we will get married or else it will be a no...Only form relationships with your Parents Consent..Aur aise log ke Parents hamesha na hi bolenge..This is just a Trap & don't fall for it.. Despite putting in a lot of effort also in case you get married also his life will only be ruled by his parents & he will never ever take a stand for You..
Honestly, he gave you a red flag from the beginning.. Don't you think so.. He was very straight.. Am not supporting him but you should not have committed knowing that there is a chance of negative ending too. We have to be careful about our choices. Just move on these people are not worth spending time..
This is the real face of men always
If a Man doesn't introduce you to his family within 6 months. Beware.
U needed a US groom..he needed a US girl for smooth transition. No surprises. Everyone wants better.. society is moving towards status than values
Imagine, even after moving continents and building a new life, caste and stuff still matters to the people who are never going to encounter it.
You deserve someone better who stand against everyone for you, hope you'll get one in future, be happy that you've escaped.
It' most common story for every other men. They are always confuse with their choice. Trust yourself, I know , it's hard to move on. But nothing is above than your self respect. Oneday, you will thanks to god, he didn't let you choose wrong one.
He had hos fun and u were desperate enough to let him Now.he will marry a girl.of.his.parents choice
I think it’s only you who had assumed your future with him… He played very well now that u have learned a lesson simply walk away without questioning and feeling guilty. Accept the fact that this was God’s plan he has something much better than this guy.. Best of luck and lots of prayers for you to heal your broken heart 🤲🤲
Nah I ain’t reading all that!
desh k bhr rehke b tumse kuj ni ho paya aur shadi k itne drame dikar h tumpe
Date any guy not a desi and you'll be happy
He is castiest too leave him
Go silent, hold your self respect and try to move on .. if you ever meant anything to him he would come back. Your act of desparation has only told him that You want to marry him, not he wanted to marry you. Marrying you hasn't been a challenge for him. Build your world and worth and don't return to a spineless man.
He was not serious about you and he knew this situation would come. It is hard to accept. But times we miss red flags when we are emotionally invested. Time will heal but it is not easy. I am a psychologist I can help you release your pain feel free to connect with me... https://www.steer-u.com/psychological-counselling/free-therapy Take your time no compulsion. Take care
I don't know as to why he did not take permission from his parents before moving with u. These men are so funny and parents of the boys think they are having a crown. Good u r marrying this kind of boy . U will find a better person and understanding in laws dear . Be brave .
It's very clear he was just doing timepass. Cut your losses.
Get over it. If he really wants to then he would have. It was just time pass for him. Sorry
It's funny how someone who live abroad still has a backward mentality bhai india ke log bhi ajkl itna caste nhi dkhte hain. Ye caste maintain krke inko kya Bharat Ratna milega kya. Those are just spineless man they don't have the courage to stand or say sorry. Show your middle finger to him and move on .
Hire an unknown bike borne men and break his legs and deface his face so that he won’t do it with anyone else and let him suffer for all the year he made you to suffer
It's your guy who made that story or told his parents to act.. how can an independent person living in another progressive country couldn't make his own decision? It's totally fake