Hi everyone I’m 31 yrs old female. I got placed in a nice corporate company in 2017 during the same time fell in love with a guy. He loved me so much that he quit his alcohol and became spiritual which attracted me so much and I accepted his love. Within 1 yr i told my parents since I’m their single child I dint want to hurt them by hiding. The moment they accepted after 6 months or so cos their prioritized my happiness over his background check, he left his job and started a clothing store , reduced his communication with me, started telling lot of lies, spending more time with Frnds and going on trips , and eventually started his drinking as well. When confronted he would often say only on trips with frnds he drinks and he will for sure won’t do it after marriage and he will spend his time with me and keep me like a queen. After 2 yrs we got married in 2020 with still lot of confusion in my mind but just a small hope that things will change after mrg. I changed my company to a near by location so I can stay with him instead of staying in PGs. From day 3 of my wedding he started drinking weekly twice or thrice come home late drunk and hit me even if I spill a single word. His parents will often come to rescue me and pamper me saying things will change once baby comes . He also will ask sorry the next day and say he wants to quit it and ask me for help. I endured it for sometime and decided to change the location. Meanwhile our intimate time was very much affected and he knew it. All this I hid from my parents not to worry them mostly. In 2022 with his parents permission we shifted to a city where he has his store and no drinking partners so called his friends were there and things were going okay . He tried quitting he would be sober for 3 months then one day it happens I fight but leave it. In 2024 he and his family pressured me to quit my job saying because of my work pressure I was not having a baby and he said he will quit alcohol completely and become responsible only if I quit my job.Until 2025 alcohol was on and off. intimacy was badly affected and ppl around us started questioning for baby. Now in 2026 he has again started his drinking habit and now with new set of Frnds hiding it from me and when I questioned he says he doesn’t love me anymore and he says pls leave my life if yu can’t adjust my drinking . If you ask me why I hate him drinking is cos he becomes a total different person when he drinks . He definitely distances himself and hits me so hard that three times my thali has been broken and blood from nose ears and all happens . Now I’ve even lost the sense of smell cos of it and he knew all that. He is telling I will be like this only here after I tried quitting and keeping yu happy still you don’t conceive so I’m giving up. Is it my mistake for not having a baby. I’ve invested 10 yrs in total in him . My love is true that I’m not ready to divorce him at the same time not ready to adjust his drinking cos I know how the cycle will repeat. meanwhile I’m job hunting very seriously which I will eventually get . But him I don’t know what to do next . Last week he hit me in the back so hard at 1.30am after I found out he has been drinking daily again I called my parents and they brought me home now. Now I’m hopeless with him saying he doesn’t love me anymore. And me not able to move on from him.
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💬 Comments (32)
"I can change him" syndrome
Your not conceiving thing could be due to his alcoholism issue because it's very common with chronic alcoholics to have low sperm count. From being an independent and happygirl to your situation now... As you're writing this, i think you have the insight as well. One fact - even after staying in a rehab and going through rigorous therapy, detox etc 60-70% users end up in a relapse, so it's common misconception that a wife or a child will help an alcoholic to stop drinking. Stop blaming yourself for things which are out of your control. Take some time, rebuild your CV, be financially independent and do not leave your job at any cost. Talk to someone, visit an NGO or something, or take therapy if you can afford it. You have a lot to process.
No girl can change boy, that's true in most cases. Partners are partners, not mother's who will treat bad boy's. Leave him and lead a single life, love yourself and I know most girls love themselves. Why you need partner in your life you experienced your bullshit and now focus in your career. He is your choice and your next choice will be exactly same in other packaging, so change yourself and love yourself.
Mother Teresa syndrome
It’s called trauma bonding… it’s not love from your side also. Pls seek therapy, only then you will see things clearly! First, distance yourself from him, second- find your footing in the world and that only a job will give you… and thirdly- pls start therapy immediately. These three steps will enlighten you! Take care, God bless
take him to de addiction therapy and psychiatric consult ... Thats onl way ... You also pick a therapy for your own trauma of living with addiction patient ..
Ten years is still better than a lifetime.
If you can stay happy with yourself without taking stress, then you shouldn't go back!
Don't worry time will change one person character
Run Lola Run! U cant change anything about him but u can change ur own destiny!
Leave him
Please read my response to the boy who eas considering marriage with a drug addict girl. Same goes for an Alcoholic husband or in fact ANY Addict for that matter. That addiction will never go and you should have left long back. You're bit in love, sorry to say this, but you're in a trauma bond. Really tough to leave as the symptoms are very much similar to drug withdrawal due to a reconditioning of your nervous system over the years it will take time to heal. But you made ine wise decision, i.e. NOT ti be bound to your abuser by a child. There's also a chance thay alcohol reduced his sperm count/quality/motility, ergo, saving u from it. YOU SERIOUSLY Need to leave. You've already lost your sense of smell... are you waiting to lose your life?
I’ve seen a similar movie where a husband never changes and finally the wife leaves him. Such people never change, better leave him. Only your love won’t give you peace and respect. And don’t ever think about having children with him, kids will grow up seeing all such abuses at home. They’ll be the one suffering.
Please book him for DV and take a case so that he can also get pulped by the cops. Divorce him ASAP and before that find a job. You are better off alone than an alcoholic.
Instead. Of rolling with this toxic perosn.. Try for a other life. Take some time and move on..
Save yourself sis, he won’t change.
Give divorce and start a new life
Mostly many doesn't like to read or reply this type of stories. Movie is over in the picture hall. Subham card appeared on the screen. You are saying still u prefer to sit in the theatre. First get ur self treated by a doctor. There appears to be some thing wrong with you seriously
Nothing is going to change. Unless you divorce him.
Hi @confessor if your are looking for job share your resume and for your husband drinking habit I had one knw place their they will change the drinkers text me id you need support
him saying he doesn’t love me anymore. And me not able to move on from him... In that case get ready to be 'moved' from your home to graveyard soon. Bon Voyage 👋👋
Divorce him and change location 👍🏻better to move abroad and please start therapy. You don’t wanna end up dead ☠️
Don’t blame yourself for everything that’s happened, including not having . Focus on your well-being for now, and let his actions over time—not his words—guide your decision.
Why did you marry a person who lied to you about drinking..listen to your parents now
Lodge FIR against abuser and divorce him before your life becomes hell...If you do not listen to me now you will regret it for the rest of your life you still have time ...move on there is no fixing in your marriage once glass is broken you cannot fix it with glue or any other substances
Now didi will say. All men are same
Take some time away to think without pressure. A healthy relationship requires trust, respect, and lasting change from both sides not just hope that things will improve.
You’ve already given this relationship many chances over the years. Prioritize your safety, focus on becoming financially independent again, and make your next decision based on consistent actions, not promises
I don't know what made you stay I am sure love is not the reason that's a lame excuse from your side there must be something he got that you cannot leave him otherwise who will stay or will you let your daughter stay with such guy if you had a daughter ? or you might not be matured yet or you are a mentally retarded person
Leave that monster or you will end up in grave.
Why don't you want to move on from someone who drinks, hits you, and doesn't even love you? Are you dumb? Do you want to become another headline about a husband murdering his wife?
He is very worthless