Hi admin pls post this 🙏 30 M , I got married two years ago through an arranged marriage, still haven’t planned for kids . Tbh, it felt more like a forced marriage from my side. However, after the wedding, I accepted the relationship and gave my 100% effort to make my wife happy. The main problm has been my wife's behavior. She was brought up in a very sheltered and unusual environment. She doesn't seem to understand how relationships work in the real world and rarely listens to anyone's advice. She has poor relationships with both her own family members and mine even she hates her grandmother . In contrast, I have always maintained close and healthy relationships with my relatives and family. She has very few friends and rarely talks to them. Over time, because of her behavior, some of my relatives have started distancing themselves from me. More concerning is that she strongly dislikes my parents, my brother, and even my brother's 8-month-old daughter. She directly won’t express those grudge and hatred but we can understand by her actions. Despite of all this she loves me very much we can call it as mad love. I’m suffocating in that mad love. She becomes insecure whenever I talk to female colleagues, relatives, or even family friends. At one point, she accused me of having an affair with my aunt's daughter. I was shocked because my cousin is a year older than me and is already married. I tolerated these issues for a long time, hoping things would improve. However, everything changed when I heard recordings of phone conversations between my wife and her mother. Those recordings completely shattered me. In those conversations, they showed absolutely no respect for me or my parents.They body shamed me and my family, spoke negatively about us, and even discussed how they could separate me from my parents. What hurt me the most was hearing them talk about waiting for my parents to die. and herd lot of things which I can’t express here. One day, I played all the recordings in front of my parents and my wife and her parents . All were shocked. What shocked me even more was that neither my wife nor her parents showed genuine guilt in them . They simply said that those words were spoken in the heat of the moment and that it was a small issue. A major argument followed, and I dropped my wife at her parents' home. It has now been two months since we separated. During this period, neither my wife nor her parents contacted me. However, last week my wife called me. She said that she loves me, wants to be with me, and asked me to take her back. She apologized and promised that she would not repeat her past behavior. She is asking for another chance. Now I am completely confused. I do not know whether I should accept her back or move on. During these two years of marriage, I experienced tremendous emotional trauma, stress, and depression. There were times when I was genuinely afraid to go home because of her. When I shared my struggles with a few close people, most of them dismissed my concerns by saying things like, "These are small issues," "You should adjust," or "This is how married life works.butif the same situation had happened in reverse if I or my family had treated my wife this way now harassment case would be on my name and my family.are problems for men’s are Not the real problems? I’m in really In confused state what to do further pls suggest me how to proceed further thank you
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💬 Comments (16)
Before kids happen, make up your mind and cut all threads. She will mostly not leave you easily as these people prey on in the name of love which is fake. Actions tell, and you know your last two years. So don’t give into the emotional trap, make a farsighted choice. Life may be lonely for while, but at least you can cut the clutter
No. Find someone mature and less toxic.
If she is so affectionate towards you why did she body shame you to her mother? Still if you are happy with her live separately but take care of your parents by living nearby. Be in touch with all relatives. Dont bother if your wife is not willing to gel with them. But ensure your wife is at least true to you and loves you 100%
Hope is the only way to survival...so think to give the relationship a second chance ❤️ but pls both of you seek a relationship councillor help. They know how to work on the relationship.
Everybody deserves a chance if they beg for it from the bottom of the heart. Give her one chance, may be she has changed & evolved as a person. Looks like she is strongly possessive about you which is normal. Usually women feel insecure when they find their husband to be too close to their family. I guess she feels you are not paying attention to her & not loving her enough. Tell her that you love her, spend some quality time with her just 2 of you together, let her feel she's important in your life, go for holidays even if it is not expensive & close to your place. She will automatically develope genuine love & respect for you & your parents. There are chances she will not repeat those mistakes again & will be respectful towards your parents & relatives. Try to forgive her genuinely & also try to focus on her positive attributes. May be in future both of you will grow a very strong bonding & understanding which will last forever. To err is human, to forgive divine. Ups & downs are part & parcel of every relationship. She deserves a chance, you too deserve a chance to make your marriage a successful one. It takes years to make a marriage work properly & perfectly & surely you should put genuine efforts towards it.
Get out of this while u still can. Best of luck bro
First take proper counselling from good psychologist for yourself .. Second take your wife also counselling or if need psychiatric treatment.. last is divorce .
Your wife and her mother are narcissists. Search deeply what narcissism is, and if you find similarities in your wife's behavior then run for you life. Don't be emotional. Your life will become peaceful after this chaos.
Thanks god to save me from marriage 🤣 ldkiya hai hi kleshi
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RUN, and don't look back.
Divorce her , no more excuses needed from you wife . She will be more careful now about the recordings, plans after returning from her home. Just divorce her.
Get out
Don't take her back!
Your wife played a blame game, by cutting you of from your family she wants to control you only. Her mad love is called love bombing, which is confusing you, these kind of love bombing always make suffocation. No apologies no guilt at the same time arguments happened means they are not taking any responsibility of their behaviour and talks and dominated you and your family to please them. And gap of 2 months is called silent treatment. And that call after 2 month is called love bombing. It's a cycle. They are destroying you and your family. Consult with a good psychologist, online or offline. Get Healed, get your self esteem and confidence back.
She seems to have significant mood swings. She will never change her behavior people like this hardly ever change.