I don't know where to start. I just need honest advice because I feel completely exhausted. I had a love marriage. My husband's family never accepted the marriage, although they happily accepted everything my parents gave during the wedding. After marriage, I never felt welcomed. I was expected to do all the household work, and when my daughter was born, I was even told that if I wanted to raise my child, I should do it myself because they wouldn't help. I lived separately for almost a year with my small baby and tried to manage a job and childcare alone, but I couldn't continue and had to quit my career. Later, things became somewhat normal, but emotionally I never healed. Now I have two children. My son is 9 months old and my daughter is old enough to remember our fights. I feel constant pressure from family expectations, childcare, housework, and old emotional wounds. Sometimes I become so overwhelmed that I lose control, shout, cry, and later feel terrible guilt. My daughter gets scared when she sees me like that, and that breaks my heart. The biggest problem is that I carry years of resentment towards both my in-laws and even my own parents because I never felt truly supported by anyone. I constantly feel alone. Now there is pressure to visit India after 2.5 years, but I would have to stay in the same house where I have painful memories and where I expect conflict again. Even thinking about it gives me anxiety. I don't want revenge anymore—I just want peace. I want to become emotionally stable for my children and somehow maintain at least one normal relationship for their sake. But I don't know how to let go of this burden that I have carried for more than a decade. Has anyone gone through something similar? How did you reduce this emotional pressure and stop carrying so much anger and pain? How can I protect my children from all this while also healing myself? Please be kind. I genuinely need advice, not judgment.
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💬 Comments (10)
“You do not need to force yourself to ‘forgive and forget’ right now. Start with protecting your peace. If visiting India means returning to a place that triggers old wounds, set boundaries around where you stay and how long you stay. Your children need a calmer version of you more than they need family expectations fulfilled. Also, stop expecting emotional support from people who repeatedly haven’t given it—it keeps reopening the hurt. Find support for yourself instead, even if it’s one trusted person or a counselor. Healing doesn’t happen by carrying everything alone. Be gentle with yourself—you are a tired mother carrying years of pain, not a bad one.”
Do not go, if you are not comfortable. The first responsibility you have is towards yourself. If people/ place constantly drain you make you unhappy you are not in any way obligated to maintain relationship with them ,that includes relatives from your side too. You are taking care of two kids in your own and that is very exhausting to say the least. Keep your priorities straight. Mental peace matters the most ,you kid deserve a happy mother. If you can not avoid been with them, do not engage with them if you visit their place, stay silent mind your business.
Try mindfulness meditation every day for atleast 15 mins you can handle your emotions better, not all like raising kids. So we can't expect things from others including our parents only person we can hold responsible is your husband. It's his duty to protect you and help you.
What do you want now? You are away from them till now , but again you are going to meet that is it...what are you expecting? This is life, what happens in the next second no one knows..you want them to die right?
Replace your negative thoughts with the positive one's be aware whenever a thoughts come have a habit of ignoring and putting a affirmation at the same time be aware and practice mindfulness do pranayam it will help you join shri shri ravishankar hapiness program or sadhugurs program listen to them you have angels in your life be grateful 😇 it will take time but you will have to be consistent improve your health, do yoga a strong body will have positive thoughts, visit temples do japs, pray daily, ask the Almighty to heal you, only you can put yourself out if you dare to... Listen to stories, dance listen music, forget time, tell stories to your kids some years may be not good but see you have some days in your life where you can feel joyful and cherish every moment with your angels
Khud ko samjhiye aur reserve rahiye Na jyada kissi say baatcheet na gilay shikway Thorey din ki baat hai nikal jaayeingey
Peace comes from within. No external person can give you peace..
Family problem should be solved inside home
You don't have to do things to fulfil others'expectations..Talk about it. Write down what will make you feel comfortable. Discuss your feelings and emotions with your husband without pin pointing anyone's mistake.Dont expect anything from anyone..I am a psychologist I am sharing my fb page link and free therapy tips for anxiety and fears. Hope it helps https://www.facebook.com/CounsellorRuchi/ https://www.steer-u.com/psychological-counselling/free-therapy
If your in laws did not want the Child why would you go for second child 😂 ,? If you have so much complaints with them why would you bring a child in world .. Now you asking advice from world ..