Comments for Post #C27069

M30- 16LPA. After watching the posts in this channel iam writing this. Lengthy story so putting in bullet points. Father sold all the properties and left us due to loan pressure when I was in 3rd standard. From then mother raised me, my elder sister (married recently) and younger sister(Not married). Most of our lives are spent in hostels. Today I struggle with below problems. 1) Low confidence to face the world due to constant comparison with other men by my elder sister from childhood. 2) Been yelled for not meeting her expectations from childhood. 3) Iam from Hyderabad, from past ten years Iam working outside Hyderabad-alone (started with 15K salary per month). From past one year, mild depression symptoms are occurring due to loneliness. Therapist said you need human connections. 4) I really feel i need loving and caring partner but iam not able to find anyone because i dont have any own house, car or any land. 5) And also early ejaculation due to masturbation due to loneliness from almost 15+ years. I asked my mom to come and stay with me. She comes and stays with me for one or two months but never stays more than that.Says younger sister is alone there so i cant stay here. But how can i explain my depression and loneliness to her? She is not educated. When last time she visited me, i cried infront of her she consoled me but she forgot that and now she is normal. She didnt understand my situation. When ever i ask her to come, she gives me a reason like i need to visit their house, their ocaasion becasue they visited us etc etc. And sometimes she says i will come after one week and then again gives me a reason. I dont know how to explain my situation to her, iam depressed, lonely and suffering with health issues but still she chooses something eles than his son. Even my sisters are least botherd about me, they only call me when they need something like money, ott app subscriptions or some reminded them to call me. But never with love. Due to all of this i want to kill my self but iam afraid to do that. Because i dnt want to die with guilty of leaving my mom like my dad did. I want to be with her and i want her to choose me and i want her to make me her priority. Clueless what to do now? Deal with my physical health? Mental health? I want to be loved and i want them to love back....