Comments for Post #C27605

I'm writing out of stress and depression. I'm 26m residing in Isb and have been preparing for CSS since 2024.I appeared in CSS 2026_result awaiting. I'm introvert sort of person and do not like befriending with everybody. The reason is that i uphold high emotional maturity twice of my age that's why i look into the outside world from a different dimension with a different lens. May be I'm looking for people of caliber, to be emotionally adequate mature, rationally excellent and analytically exceptional. That's the reason why I've no friend. I go to gym alone, i do work out without any gym partner, i speak when i feel someone's ears desperately deserve my words. I go on hiking alone, i listen to the music and pay no attention to what's happening around me. I usually go to f9 and set in cafe alone , have my tea and then straight to my room. May be this seems very different and perfect to you people, but this is how I'm behaving with myself. I got recommended for Pakistan Army through DSSC for AEC, i received my joining instructions after detailed medical examination. However, i made an excuse and didn't joined the forces. I exhaust myself all the day in library and usually at 7pm i quit the library, offer my maghreb prayer and then go to gym. This is how I'm living these days. I'm feeling emotionally disillusioned, stress overwhelmingly engulfed me. Sometimes, i feel, what I'm really doing here. am i suppose to burn myself this way. Additionally, I'm a responsible son too, paying for many household stuffs, despite the fact that I'm the youngest one_unmarried, non engaged. That's too, sometimes offending me, because I'm performing my elders responsibilities. I think , I'm suffering inside, sometimes i think i really need an emotional support_someone who could hold my hand and encourage me, give me the feeling of belonging. I'm 5'11", quite good in personality. But i think I'm wasting my this youth age to attain a distant dream. I'm quite knowledgeable too, but still I'm feeling scared, what if things go wrong and what if i didn't make it. I'm vanished inside out.