I am 33 M .Got Married in 2022. I am introvert doesnt express much. It was arranged marriage and decided to marry without any dowry and didnt even discuss the expenses or anything. Wedding banquet booking was done by us which we showed to girlside to ask if they are ok with it . They said yes. We had expected they would be paying half of expenses which they didnt . But we didnt saything . My father had gone to his friend which resides in same area as my wife . He during talks told my father that marriage was good and we had received good dowry . My father refused said we didnt take any. He said but here everyone was told girl side and invested 40lakh in the marriage . We were shocked . My father called girl side . Please give us the expenses list which were done in the marriage . But they turned the story and said we were asking expenses list because we want dowry . Little tensions were there in relation but was manageble . One day my mother was cooking food and my wife was sitting in room reading the books . My mother called wife said pray the god and serve the food. She didnt listen. My mother repeated this 2-3 times. She didnt listen . My mother got angry went to her and told to give her phone as she will call her mom . My wife scratched my mother face , my mother cried . I went to the room . Somehow manged my anger and didnt hit my wife . Simply told wife go to 1st floor we will be living seperate . Me and my wife on 1st floor . My parents on ground floor . Wife demended fridge same day . I told wait or ask your father as i was annoyed myself . She called her father . Her father came with 8 people at 8pm night without announcing abused my father , mother , threathened us , told my mother and father to go oldage home and leave home to my wife. Caught hold my father by neck . We called police .They told police we are demanding dowry , have beaten the girl . Police told us to live peacefully didnt do anything as it seems to them as family matter . Her father went to all neighbours knocked their gates . Told everyone that he has given lots of dowry , and we trouble the girl , we dont give her food , we beat her . Now at this time relation was almost over , there was no trust left. We had installed cctv camera on 1st as well as ground floor . Incidents had somehow troubled my head . My head always thinking about incidents which were making me angry inside . Although i am very peacefull guy . Still didnt tell anything to wife kept inside me . But yes i would during the fight i would abuse her parents for wrong doing. The fight which always she starts I am into family business and being in baniya family . We would invest everything possible back to business dont draw salaries . I come from upper middle class family with no money issues at all . Now by this time i started acting as we are broke and lots of loan on us. Girl had some behaviour issue she had insecurities in her and wanted control . She would abuse me , my mother .I simply started ignoring her thinking she might feel bad and ask apology and become better person. But after few days i would melt and start giving her love again . Her behaviour pattern returns every 15-30days .Again she would disrespect and same loop goes again and again .One boundary i had set that i would never go to her family . If she wants to go go and return back. I had lost interest in s*x with her . She had gained around 17kg of weight.This went for 2 years . Now she wanted more agression out of us .So she would go downstairs and abuse my mother . It was 2nd April thought came my mind this silence treatment she isnt considering as punishment at all . So i shouted back at her abused her. Full loud . Took my things and came downstairs. She called her parents . Her father sent her brother and took her . Next day her father called me , abused me , my family , threthened to k*ll and kidnap us . We filed complaint against her father . They filed DV , Dowry case against us . Althought we have all CCTV recordings with us. Main thing this relation has given my anxiety , And fear . Fear of not getting as good partner again . Divorce is a tabo here .
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💬 Comments (30)
Medicine can't cure nature of person. Silent treatment or aggressive treatment nothing will change.
Marriage is the cause of all evils.
Just 1 word. Run. I have gone through exactly the same. The escape route is very narrow but pray to God you'll make it. Don't break yourself, and don't let your parents break down. Be eachother's support, do things that make you happy. But keep following the narrow escape route.
The girl is greedy & knows how to fuel her family ears. The girl's parents are foolish & immatured ppl...ultimately they did what is their sole doing "broke their daughter's house by too much mindless acts" Thts why it's said 90% mariage breakups these days happen due to girls & her parent nexus...long live the mobiles n internet & hours of talks btwn them!
Just walk away quickly and heal. Before you get married please enquire about the girl's family and hr background. This will help you in the future, if you want to remarry again..
They also have to proov how they gave dowry and when. Which they can't same for marriage expenses they have to show money trail But for this you need a good lawyer. Try getting case closed sooner in family court, only high court can help
Your whole problem revolves around relation between your wife and parents. I will suggest keep your parent's interference completely out of your marital life. Years of their interferance in your marriage has turned your relation with your wife sour. Now husband wife both have trauma. You both need to heal from the external interference in the marriage.
accept what you have ...
She scratched your mother, come on, you should act that time.
If divorce is taboo, do it quietly. You don't have to announce to all your relatives. This is a marriage that will NEVER work. For your sanity, leave.
Divorce le lo
Why do u stay with parents after marriage??? That's the problem
Better luck in your next marriage
Biggest mistake “Didn’t even discuss about Finance and expenses”
Bank statement and vendor payment prove. Start from you wedding expenses build a solid case. Record the abuse. Pls don’t live in this situation
If you want to give another chance to your marriage, then move out, find a rental property and live separately with your wife. Safeguard their retirement years by saving your ancestral property. Parents should not have to see police at their doorstep every second day due to marital problems in your life. I am sure your mother has equal role to play in creating fights with your wife. All of this will not happen if you move out. Live separately, deal with marital issues separately.
Divorce is better than depression Gosh, Iive far away, I would have taken your case n won too
Divorce her don't bend ..n coming for safety take bouncers on rent ..don't bend this type of girls will lead u suicide
Zaleel ho gyi hai public.
Are your in-laws ultra poor? From which state are you? Typically in arranged marriages, every thing taken care by bride’s parents. Don’t know why you guys booked that
Pl divorce her. If u dont get dowry it is perceived as weakness in society.
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Break that taboo. No society going to mourn if u die. U mean nothing to anyone harsh truth get over it divorce end the matter. Come out of stupid emotion
File a divorce case. Since you have all the CCTV recordings you can show her behaviour as proof in court. This relationship is not leading anywhere. Please make sure everyone in her neighbourhood as well as your neighbourhood know that they have been telling a lie. There is no point in staying with an abusive person and an abusive family
Again this is why Arranged Marriage is a FAILED CONCEPT. Bro, You're FUBAR'd (Fu€ked Up Beyond All Recognitions) ... Under the worst of Circumstances If you're doing an Arranged Marriage a background search of her and her family should be done prior to marriage, the only advice I can give here, is since the entire family is in Cahoots... Is take the CCTV footage and the rest of the proof you have of her questionable abusive and downright lunatic behaviour and talk to a Lawyer. Don't worry about society and biradari and what who will say. If you have to do a dissection to get rid of this tumor then do it, before it blows up and becomes a Cancer you can't recover from. And the next time please don't marry, wait for the right person or stay alone. Believe me it's much better that way.
This sounds like a one-sided narration. Your wife asked for a refrigerator, you denied it, and then eight people allegedly attacked her? That doesn't add up. I feel there may have been some involvement from your parents that mentally affected her. Deep down, you probably know some of the truth, accepted it, and moved to the first floor. Somewhere along the way, you always took your family's side and never genuinely tried to understand hers. My dear mummy's boy, you failed to balance your responsibilities between your parents and your wife. You stood entirely with your parents, and that is why she moved away. Be happy, but I bet the same chapter will repeat in your second marriage unless you learn to handle situations fairly and maintain a balance between your parents and your spouse. Without any discussion or negotiation, how did you expect things to work out? I think your parents were upset about this and brought the issue in front of your wife, which made the situation worse. Just because you married without dowry doesn't mean your mother can give orders and the girl has to follow them. Everyone has self-respect, and understanding that is the best approach.
You, your wife, your mother, her parents- all of you are toxic. What a bunch of morons lol. You: U keep talking of dowry. Nothing to be proud of. Keep saying I didn't hit her as if it's a favour. Comment on her weight. Behave like some immature guy. Your wife: Hitting your mom False allegations Erratic behaviour Greedy Your mom: Controlling behaviour Involving her parents Not understanding younger generation Her parents: False cases Involving neighbours Threatening Frankly you all belong to the madhouse. Better separate and end this toxicity.
go ahead man have all ur proof and throw away her...she will not change, divorce her and have peace...better girl will come for u
Omg! this all sounds so horrible
Just divorce her