Hi all, 28-year-old male here, working as a journalist. I've never been in a relationship, despite approaching three women over the years. Looking back, each experience taught me something different. The first was back in college on February 14, 2017. I was rejected, but honestly, it didn't affect me much. With time, I realized she wasn't really my type anyway. The second was a close friend from college. We spent a lot of time together, and many people assumed we were dating. Our friendship grew even stronger after college, especially during one of the toughest phases of my life in 2020-21, when she stood by me. Somewhere along the way, I developed feelings for her and proposed on December 17, 2021. She rejected me. It hurt, but her rejection pushed me to work on myself. Today, she has moved to another city, has a boyfriend, and although we no longer speak, I'm genuinely happy for her and wish her nothing but the best. The third one was different. She was a junior at work, about five years younger than me. We became very close. Many people around me, including my mentor and closest friend, warned me to be careful, but I ignored them. I cared deeply for her and often went out of my way to help her, including cooking her favourite meals. Eventually, on July 14, 2025, I confessed my feelings and was rejected. This rejection broke me in a way the previous ones never did. I haven't spoken to her since that day, yet she is still the first thought in my mind when I wake up and often the last one before I sleep. My friends tell me I was used and that I ignored several red flags. Maybe they're right. What hurts even more is that the whole situation also affected my relationship with my mentor, someone I deeply respected. My mother wants me to move on, settle down, and consider marriage. But the truth is that after everything that happened, I'm scared of relationships. A part of me wants to move forward, while another part still seems stuck in the past. This isn't really a question—just a confession. But if anyone has been through something similar and has any advice, I'd be grateful to hear it. Thank you for reading.
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💬 Comments (3)
Look in the mirror and then look wirhin, mate!! Are you punching above your weight? Would you be attracted to someone like you if you were an attractive woman (i am assuming you proposed to attractive women)? If not, focus on a physical and mental transformation for next 6 months. Remember women may like you for your nature, character etc but attraction will always have a strong physical angle to it, so if dress well and have a good physique, then chances of rejection will reduce dramatically.
First, I want to acknowledge the maturity and self awareness in the way you've reflected on each experience. Many people go through rejection, but not everyone is able to look back and recognize the lessons, growth, and even wish happiness for the people who couldn't return their feelings. What stands out in your story is that each rejection affected you differently because the emotional investment was different. The third one wasn't just a crush, you invested time, care, effort, and hope. When someone becomes part of your daily routine and emotional world, losing the future you imagined with them can feel like grieving a relationship even if one never officially existed. It's also important not to be too harsh on yourself. Caring deeply for someone doesn't mean you were foolish or "used." Sometimes people genuinely appreciate our presence without sharing our romantic feelings. The pain often comes from expectations and emotional attachment rather than anyone intentionally hurting us. The fact that you're still thinking about her nearly a year later suggests that you may not be mourning just the person, but also what she represented, a possibility, a dream, or perhaps the belief that this time things would finally work out. Those feelings take time to process. As for marriage, don't rush into it simply because you're approaching 30 or because others want you to "settle down." Entering a relationship while carrying unresolved feelings can be unfair to both you and the other person. Focus first on rebuilding your emotional confidence, reconnecting with hobbies, friendships, and goals that exist independently of romance. Also, don't view three rejections as evidence that relationships aren't meant for you. Many people meet the right partner much later than expected. Three unsuccessful attempts over several years is not a pattern that defines your future. You've already shown resilience before, you recovered from the first two heartbreaks and grew from them. This one is taking longer because it meant more, but that doesn't mean you'll stay stuck forever. Healing is rarely linear. Give yourself permission to move forward without forcing yourself to forget. One day you'll realize she's no longer the first thought in the morning, and that will happen naturally, not because you tried to erase her, but because you've built a fuller life around yourself again. Wishing you strength and peace on that journey.
Hereafter don't think about your choices.. Kindly give a chance to your parent and try that... May be that relationship becomes healing for you. ❤