I need an outside perspective because I feel too emotionally involved to think clearly. I met someone a few months ago who became very important to me. From the beginning, I was hesitant. I have trust issues, and I’m 27 while he is 4 years younger than me. There is also a clear financial and social status difference between our families. I told him many times I was scared of getting attached, but he kept reassuring me, talking about trust, marriage, and a future together. Over time, we became very close. We talked every day, shared our routines, worries, slept on calls, and became part of each other’s daily lives. I slowly trusted him completely. Then suddenly everything changed. One day, without any argument, I woke up and found I had been blocked everywhere. Later I found out it was due to a misunderstanding about a joke I made, where he thought I saw him as a backup option which was never true. At that time, his family was also already pushing for his marriage, and he said his father cried and asked him to end things, so he agreed. We met in person. I swore on the Holy Book that I had been sincere from the start. He said he believed me and wasn’t thinking badly of me. He apologized repeatedly Even now, things are confusing because contact didn’t fully end. He is still messaging me. He says things like: “I know what is happening with you is wrong, but my family is not listening. They can’t see my happiness. I will never be able to be happy like this.” He talks about feeling helpless and stuck. And then, in between all of that, the normal care is still there… “Aap kaisi hain?”, “Khaana khaya?”, “Medicine li?”, updates about his day. There are still small reminders too like Snapchat streaks, and even a snap of my hair tie that he still wears, and the matching bracelets we both ordered. That’s why I’m so confused. It feels like I’m losing someone and still talking to them at the same time. I don’t know what this is anymore or where it is going. I only know I trusted someone deeply despite being scared, and this situation has been one of the most painful and confusing things I’ve experienced.
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💬 Comments (6)
उसके बाप ने सही किया, क्यों की मिडल क्लास लोग ये ऐसे नखरे समाज में झेल नहीं सकते।
A logical perspective is that his feelings may have been real, but his actions are showing that he is currently unable or unwilling to choose the relationship despite those feelings. When someone talks about marriage, reassures you repeatedly, becomes part of your daily life, and then suddenly blocks you without a proper conversation, it creates a deep sense of confusion and betrayal. The blocking itself is significant because healthy relationships are usually built on communication, especially when there is a misunderstanding. A misunderstanding can be clarified, ending contact abruptly is a choice. What makes this situation especially painful is that he hasn't truly left, but he also hasn't stayed. He continues to check on you, share updates, wear reminders of your connection, and express sadness about his family's pressure. Those actions keep the emotional bond alive, but they don't provide clarity or commitment. The key question is not whether he cares about you. From what you've described, it seems likely that he does. The more important question is, what is he actually doing about the situation? If his family's opposition is the reason, then ultimately he has to decide whether he is willing to stand up for the relationship. Feeling helpless, apologizing, and saying he won't be happy are expressions of emotion, but they don't change the reality. Right now, his actions are aligned with his family's wishes, not with building a future with you. It's understandable that you're holding onto hope because his behavior sends mixed signals. Anyone would feel confused when they're still receiving affection from someone who has effectively stepped away from the relationship. For your own peace of mind, you may need to ask for a clear answer, is he actively working toward a future with you, or is he saying goodbye while trying to soften the pain for both of you? Those are very different situations. You trusted someone despite your fears, and that trust being shaken hurts deeply. But don't let the presence of caring messages distract you from looking at the bigger picture. Consistent commitment matters more than occasional reassurance. A relationship can survive family pressure if both people are firmly choosing each other. If only one person is fighting for it, the uncertainty can become endless. You deserve clarity, not a situation where you're grieving a relationship while still receiving just enough affection to keep hoping.
These people are MANIPULATIVE . They pretend to care but it’s all a facade. What he did wasn’t a misunderstanding but a planned & conscious choice. Cut all ties with him before he ruins your mental peace and eventually your physical health. There is nothing to remorse because this kinda people deserve distance. Save yourself before it’s late .
Everything is so clear nothing confusing atall he is playing with your emotions he is seeing you as backup plan just for timepass he never loved you ,everything was preplanned nothing can happen overnight
This is toxic and manipulative to leave you in a confused state as you have described. They know what exactly they are doing. You are exactly where they want you to be. Forget about marriage. Don’t even have contact with this person. It is going to be hell. What you feel caring is basic minimum. It takes nothing for him to ask you, How are you feeling? These things don’t mean anything. Look at the actions. Girl run! Get therapy to get out of this mess. Keep your finances together. Move forward. You will find a person that you deserve.
Leave the manipulation