I would like to share an experience of mine. I am an engineer myself, and I married an engineer too. From what I saw, her father’s financial condition was not very good; so I thought if I married her, she would truly understand what struggling means. Being from a middle-class background myself, I assumed she would adapt and adjust to everything. I never had an issue with women’s clothing, but my opinion was that everyone should dress according to their own comfort and body type—whatever they can carry off with confidence and whatever looks good on them. I support feminism, but feminism does not mean that if something is said to the daughter-in-law of the house, the same must be said to the son as well. That is basically foolishness; if such a situation arises, we could even move and live elsewhere. Rambling or talking excessively is not good. Nowadays, it feels as though women are using feminism to compete with men, rather than living together in harmony. Anyway, we are getting a divorce. I cannot tell her these things directly, but at the very least, I hope she stays happy, stays well, and lets go of this sense of competition. A man and a woman can never be identical. Working in the same place does not mean they become equal in every single aspect. Our physical structures are different—nature made them that way—and even our hormones are different. How can everything be the same?
A marriage ending is painful, but this confession seems to frame the problem too much as “men vs women.” Marriage is not about expecting a spouse to adjust simply because they come from a similar financial background, nor is feminism about making men and women identical. Equality means equal dignity, respect, freedom and responsibility, not pretending that biological differences don't exist. At the same time, expectations placed on a daughter in law should be examined on their own merits, rather than justified simply because they are traditional. Two educated people can have completely different values, communication styles and expectations. If those differences cannot be resolved through mutual respect and honest communication, divorce may ultimately be healthier than staying in an unhappy marriage. Hopefully, both of them can move forward without turning their personal experience into a judgement about an entire gender. There are always two sides to a marriage, and we are hearing only one here.
You are thinking divorce is like a betel leaves 🍃. Without patience you or she cannot stay in marriage life ..
Marriage as an institution will collapse in India in the next 20-30 years. Learn to live alone and be happy.
Good that you are taking a divorce. Just imagine not having a decent conversation without getting the other party defensive. But what was the issue to be precise, we are interested.
जरूर से ज्यादा एक दूसरे से एक्सपेक्टेशन और जरूरत से ज्यादा एक दूसरे को इग्नोर करना किसी भी शादी को success full नही बनने देता आप चाहते है कि वो आपकी पसंद जाने और वो चाहती है कि वो सिर्फ अपनी पसंद से मतलब रखे ....रिश्ता तो टूटना ही था पर याद रखिये अगर आप दोनों ने खुद को नही बदला तो दूसरी शादी में भी प्रॉब्लम आएगी
You do not need a partner who understands struggle....You need one who understands you....feminism is not the problem here....mismatched expectations are....I hope both of u find peace without turning gender into the villain !!!
Marry someone(irrespective of gender) from an unsuccessful family, and you will find out why they are unsuccessful. It is often the mindset. Always better to marry within reasonable range of your own socio-economic status. I learnt that the hard way.
Not gender or feminism it's the compatability missing here.next ego on both sides may be.
So if the lady is asked to wear a saree and she asks the man to wear dhoti it becomes a problem. Just because someone saw their family struggle does it mean they should also struggle. Good that the girl is getting divorced
Very happy for her, she will end up in a good place soon.
As a husband it was ur responsibility to be a shield of her..in ur family..She went to ur family ....She changed her habits..she has to listen to whole set of examples of others...which u wont be able to hear for 1 sec if u go and stay in her house...She looses her identity..And she is earning..Men wants earning wife..accountability but when taunts come..she will listen as daughter in law is supposed to and will put a finger on her mouth..Wow Gender Equality..
Looks like discussion in a defensive mode with out discussion and mind set issues better getting divorce
A man and woman can never be equal. For that, women will have to pee on roadside to begin with
The way you worded it makes it sound like you’re more of the issue than her. You’re giving me narcissistic energy. I think she’s happy, and you’re more pressed about the divorce, which is why you’re rambling here. 🥴
Why cannot women live like men???? What lead you to think like that?
Might be a fake confession to dump his personal grudges or opinions and to incite gender war. And why should a daughter in law be treated differently than a son? Just because you have the family blood and she's an outsider? So you have the full freedom to do whatever you like but your wife must face questions at each and every step?
It seems you are worried about your wife's opinion and her competition for equality. Educated women nowadays want equality since both men and women do hard work. Expectations from in-laws are okay but excessive is not. It is very difficult for a woman to adjust to a new home. We can't even stay for 4 days in a relative's house so sometimes they too want freedom and pampering. That's nothing like competition or something.
You are lucky bro. Stay blessed & work hard & live .
It seems u r much bothered about women trying to live a bindaas life.
So you are staying in parents house and wanted a wife to wear 'modest' clothes, talk less. Clearly state these expectations BEFORE getting married next time. Don't ASSUME she will 'understand' these things if she is from poor family.
Good for her. She will live happily.
Searching
Hi, I wanted to ask if you could help me out with a job opportunity for someone I know. He has 6+ years of experience in Procurement, Strategic Sourcing, Operations and Supply Chain, and is currently working in a senior procurement role. If you come across any suitable opening in your organisation or through your network, please do let me know. I’d really appreciate your help. I can share his CV with you for your reference. 🙏
You support feminism—but only until it asks you to be held to the same standard as her. The moment equality knocks on your door, you call it 'competition' and 'foolishness.' That's not feminism you support. That's a get-out-of-accountability-free card you want to keep for yourself. You married her out of pity, not love. You saw her father's poverty and thought, 'Perfect—she'll know how to struggle, she'll know how to adjust, she'll never expect too much from me.' You didn't want a wife. You wanted a grateful tenant who'd never complain about the landlord. And when she did complain—when she dared to want the same respect, the same voice, the same space you gave yourself—you blamed feminism. You blamed her hormones. You blamed nature itself. Anything but the mirror. She didn't leave you because she wanted to be a man. She left you because you couldn't handle her being a full woman. Different biology doesn't mean different worth. Different hormones don't mean different dignity. But you needed that excuse, didn't you? Because the truth is unbearable: she outgrew you, and you stayed small. You say you hope she stays happy. Don't worry. She will. The moment your signature leaves those papers, she'll breathe deeper than she has in years. The competition you're so afraid of? It never existed. She wasn't competing with you. She was just finally done carrying you. That's not feminism. That's consequences. And you earned every single one.
Good you are getting divorced n kindly don’t get married again because you don’t deserve
Bhai tu jhut acha bolta hai.
Sabko jaake fod de
A correction: Women are using feminism to destroy men. Feminism is nothing but disguised misandry.
Evidently you aren’t very good at expressing/ explaining your thoughts.
Women are not intelligent to understand that constitutionally men are different...One shouldnot treat women as slave..they need not be equal to men..not necessary....
Divorce her for her peace
Share your anonymous workplace story with our community. Submissions are reviewed for safety and published if approved — no account required.
Submit ConfessionShare your thoughts anonymously.
ℹ️ Your comment will be posted publicly on Facebook if it complies with our community guidelines.
Comments for Post #C27905