Comments for Post #C27905

A marriage ending is painful, but this confession seems to frame the problem too much as “men vs women.” Marriage is not about expecting a spouse to adjust simply because they come from a similar financial background, nor is feminism about making men and women identical. Equality means equal dignity, respect, freedom and responsibility, not pretending that biological differences don't exist. At the same time, expectations placed on a daughter in law should be examined on their own merits, rather than justified simply because they are traditional. Two educated people can have completely different values, communication styles and expectations. If those differences cannot be resolved through mutual respect and honest communication, divorce may ultimately be healthier than staying in an unhappy marriage. Hopefully, both of them can move forward without turning their personal experience into a judgement about an entire gender. There are always two sides to a marriage, and we are hearing only one here.

Marriage as an institution will collapse in India in the next 20-30 years. Learn to live alone and be happy.

You are thinking divorce is like a betel leaves 🍃. Without patience you or she cannot stay in marriage life ..

जरूर से ज्यादा एक दूसरे से एक्सपेक्टेशन और जरूरत से ज्यादा एक दूसरे को इग्नोर करना किसी भी शादी को success full नही बनने देता आप चाहते है कि वो आपकी पसंद जाने और वो चाहती है कि वो सिर्फ अपनी पसंद से मतलब रखे ....रिश्ता तो टूटना ही था पर याद रखिये अगर आप दोनों ने खुद को नही बदला तो दूसरी शादी में भी प्रॉब्लम आएगी

Good that you are taking a divorce. Just imagine not having a decent conversation without getting the other party defensive. But what was the issue to be precise, we are interested.

So if the lady is asked to wear a saree and she asks the man to wear dhoti it becomes a problem. Just because someone saw their family struggle does it mean they should also struggle. Good that the girl is getting divorced

You do not need a partner who understands struggle....You need one who understands you....feminism is not the problem here....mismatched expectations are....I hope both of u find peace without turning gender into the villain !!!

Marry someone(irrespective of gender) from an unsuccessful family, and you will find out why they are unsuccessful. It is often the mindset. Always better to marry within reasonable range of your own socio-economic status. I learnt that the hard way.

Not gender or feminism it's the compatability missing here.next ego on both sides may be.

Very happy for her, she will end up in a good place soon.

pointing out feminism and women working as the reason for divorce is a deflection technic. you are misplacing both of your individual responsibilities to a bigger genaralized gender war. you and your wife need to introspect what specific behaviour led to this divorce on both your sides. this will help you identify the issues and may be your next marriage you can avoid those and live a better life. gender equality and feminism aside, each individual whether male or female has some individual needs to be treated with respect, love and understanding. did yours or your wife's or either of your family members ignored these needs. just self introspect.

Might be a fake confession to dump his personal grudges or opinions and to incite gender war. And why should a daughter in law be treated differently than a son? Just because you have the family blood and she's an outsider? So you have the full freedom to do whatever you like but your wife must face questions at each and every step?

The way you worded it makes it sound like you’re more of the issue than her. You’re giving me narcissistic energy. I think she’s happy, and you’re more pressed about the divorce, which is why you’re rambling here. 🥴

Looks like discussion in a defensive mode with out discussion and mind set issues better getting divorce

It seems you are worried about your wife's opinion and her competition for equality. Educated women nowadays want equality since both men and women do hard work. Expectations from in-laws are okay but excessive is not. It is very difficult for a woman to adjust to a new home. We can't even stay for 4 days in a relative's house so sometimes they too want freedom and pampering. That's nothing like competition or something.

As a husband it was ur responsibility to be a shield of her..in ur family..She went to ur family ....She changed her habits..she has to listen to whole set of examples of others...which u wont be able to hear for 1 sec if u go and stay in her house...She looses her identity..And she is earning..Men wants earning wife..accountability but when taunts come..she will listen as daughter in law is supposed to and will put a finger on her mouth..Wow Gender Equality..

A man and woman can never be equal. For that, women will have to pee on roadside to begin with

Sorry that your marriage didn't work out. From your confession, it seems like there's so much you're holding inside. Take some time out for yourself and talk openly with someone whom you trust. Processing things, instead of keeping them bottled up inside will help.

Why cannot women live like men???? What lead you to think like that?

It seems u r much bothered about women trying to live a bindaas life.

You are lucky bro. Stay blessed & work hard & live .

So you are staying in parents house and wanted a wife to wear 'modest' clothes, talk less. Clearly state these expectations BEFORE getting married next time. Don't ASSUME she will 'understand' these things if she is from poor family.

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You support feminism—but only until it asks you to be held to the same standard as her. The moment equality knocks on your door, you call it 'competition' and 'foolishness.' That's not feminism you support. That's a get-out-of-accountability-free card you want to keep for yourself. You married her out of pity, not love. You saw her father's poverty and thought, 'Perfect—she'll know how to struggle, she'll know how to adjust, she'll never expect too much from me.' You didn't want a wife. You wanted a grateful tenant who'd never complain about the landlord. And when she did complain—when she dared to want the same respect, the same voice, the same space you gave yourself—you blamed feminism. You blamed her hormones. You blamed nature itself. Anything but the mirror. She didn't leave you because she wanted to be a man. She left you because you couldn't handle her being a full woman. Different biology doesn't mean different worth. Different hormones don't mean different dignity. But you needed that excuse, didn't you? Because the truth is unbearable: she outgrew you, and you stayed small. You say you hope she stays happy. Don't worry. She will. The moment your signature leaves those papers, she'll breathe deeper than she has in years. The competition you're so afraid of? It never existed. She wasn't competing with you. She was just finally done carrying you. That's not feminism. That's consequences. And you earned every single one.

Good you are getting divorced n kindly don’t get married again because you don’t deserve

Sabko jaake fod de

A correction: Women are using feminism to destroy men. Feminism is nothing but disguised misandry.

Evidently you aren’t very good at expressing/ explaining your thoughts.

Women are not intelligent to understand that constitutionally men are different...One shouldnot treat women as slave..they need not be equal to men..not necessary....

Divorce her for her peace