Comments for Post #C27165

Hello, I’m a 30F from Pune. I’m reposting this because it wasn’t approved earlier, and I genuinely want to understand if others are experiencing the same thing. I’ve been trying to find the right partner for the last 3–4 years, and honestly, the process has become emotionally exhausting. I understand that dating apps are often hookup-oriented, and that’s fair because people join with different intentions. But what surprises me more is seeing the same mindset even on matrimonial platforms. A lot of men mention “dating to marry” or say they’re serious about settling down, but when you actually interact with them, many seem completely unsure about what they want from life itself. Even men in their 30s or early 30s often have a very “go with the flow” attitude — no clarity about future plans, marriage, emotional responsibility, or even stability in mindset. It feels like many people are entering the marriage pool without actually being ready for marriage. I’m not saying I’m perfect. I have my own flaws too. I can be short-tempered sometimes, but never without reason. At least I know what I want from life and relationships. I believe maturity, clarity, accountability, and emotional stability matter a lot when you’re looking for a life partner. Financially, I’m independent, earning well, have investments, and I have my own place to live. I’m not looking for someone to “provide” everything society expects from a man. I don’t have unrealistic expectations. But at the same time, I also don’t want to settle for the bare minimum in terms of maturity and seriousness. At this point, seeing the kind of men out there sometimes makes staying single and unmarried feel like the better choice any day. So my genuine question is: Is it really too much to expect emotional maturity and clarity from men in their 30s who say they want marriage? Or are others also facing this same disconnect?