Comments for Post #C27886

I am collapsing under the weight of my responsibilities and grief

I don't know how to tell my life story in just a few lines, and I don't really have anyone I can ask for advice. So I'm sharing it here, hoping someone might help me. I come from a dysfunctional family. My father is a good man, but he struggled with anxiety and depression throughout my childhood and was emotionally unavailable. My mother was loving, but she was overwhelmed with household responsibilities, so I often felt emotionally alone. At 18, I fell in love with a man, and we were together for seven years. One day, he ended our relationship, saying his family would never accept me because of caste differences. Around that time, I had once run away from home, and my family blamed him, which caused serious conflict between both families. I couldn't cope with the breakup and attempted to end my life by taking sleeping pills, but my family saved me. Soon after, he got married. I left my hometown and started working in another city. While trying to rebuild my life, I met another man who lied to me about almost everything. He later admitted that he was already married and had a child. He claimed his wife had epilepsy and was mentally unwell. I initially tried to help them reconcile, but his wife wanted nothing to do with him. Under pressure from my family to get married, I convinced myself that marrying him was the right decision. It turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. He was physically abusive, greedy, and unfaithful. By the time I discovered his affair with another woman, I was two months pregnant. I considered an abortion but couldn't go through with it. I left him after just six months of marriage. When my daughter was four years old, I moved to another city for work while my mother cared for her. During that time, I met a man who is eight years younger than me. Despite the age difference, he genuinely loved and supported me. Earlier this year, my mother passed away suddenly. Losing her shattered me because she was my greatest emotional support. During that difficult time, this man stood by me with immense care and compassion. Now I am trying to balance my job, my responsibilities toward my nine-year-old daughter, and caring for my father, who is alone after my mother's death. Although we have never been emotionally close, I love him and feel responsible for him. At the same time, the man I love has lost his job and is struggling emotionally. We had been living together, and he wants me to stay with him and marry him. He is deeply attached to me and finds it very difficult when I leave. I feel torn. I worry that I am not the right partner for him and that my responsibilities toward my daughter and father may prevent me from giving him the life he deserves. I feel like I am failing everyone, including myself. I am collapsing emotionally, and I still cannot accept my mother's absence. I miss her every single day and don't know how to move forward without her.