Comments for Post #C28030

Is there a spiritual explanation for my mother in law's behavior

Female 30 working in IT sector I am posting this anonymously because this is very personal and involves my family. I genuinely want to hear from people who understand Bengali spiritual beliefs, tantra, astrology, Vastu, negative energy, evil eye or black magic. I am not trying to accuse anyone or create a family dispute. I simply want to understand whether the things I experienced could have any spiritual significance, or whether I am connecting unrelated incidents because of everything that happened. I am mentioning everything I remember because I don't want to miss any possible clue. My mother-in-law stayed with us in Bangalore for around 3 months. Before she came to stay with us, her relationship with my husband was actually not very good. They had many differences, and from what I had seen and heard over the years, my husband was not particularly emotionally attached to her. There was also a complicated history surrounding my MIL's personal life. My husband had told me about issues involving her marital/personal relationships and alleged affairs outside her marriage, and I knew that these things had contributed to problems between them. I am not saying that I personally witnessed every incident, so I don't want to present family allegations as proven facts. I am mentioning it only because this was part of the family history that I knew about. I also want to clarify something because I don't want people to think I was always against my MIL or that I was responsible for the distance between them. Actually, over the years, I repeatedly tried to improve their relationship. Whenever they had disagreements, I encouraged my husband to understand his mother's side, talk to her, maintain a relationship with her and let go of old issues. Even when I personally had problems with her, I tried not to interfere with their mother-son relationship because I always believed that a son should have a relationship with his mother. There were many occasions when I could have simply taken my husband's side, but instead I tried to maintain peace and encouraged him to communicate with her. I never wanted them to be separated. That is exactly why what happened after she came to stay with us felt so strange to me. After she arrived, I noticed a very sudden and extreme change in my husband's behaviour toward her. He became unusually attached to her. He would wake up early, make things comfortable for her, cook for her, clean for her, take her outside, buy sarees for her, take leave to spend time with her and constantly worry about whether she was comfortable.which he never did earlier for anyone. She also seemed extremely focused on taking care of him. If he needed something, she would immediately get up and do it herself. Even small things like boiling water, preparing food and taking care of him became things she wanted to do personally. Sometimes she wouldn't even allow me to do these things for my own husband. My husband seemed extremely happy being taken care of by her, and their relationship suddenly became much closer and more intense than anything I had witnessed during the previous years. Again, I am not jealous of a mother-son relationship. In fact, I had spent years trying to make their relationship better. My concern is simply how sudden and extreme this change seemed. Then there were some things about her behaviour toward me that made me uncomfortable. She would sometimes stare at me continuously while I was working. I don't mean simply looking occasionally. There were times when she would keep looking at me for long periods while I was sitting and working, and I genuinely felt uncomfortable and watched. I could never understand why she was doing that. There was another thing I noticed which I found very unusual. Her mouth/breath had an extremely foul smell. It wasn't normal bad breath, at least according to what I experienced. It smelled almost like sewage, rotting matter or stool, and it was very strong. I don't know whether this has any spiritual significance whatsoever or whether it was simply a dental, stomach or medical problem. But I am mentioning it because I don't want to leave out anything that I noticed. Then comes the part that really made me start wondering about all of this — the Tulsi plants. During the approximately 3 months that she stayed with us, around 6 Tulsi plants died one after another. We would bring a new Tulsi plant, take care of it, and eventually it would dry up and die. This happened repeatedly during the period she was living with us. What made me notice the difference was that later, when my own mother came to stay with me, one Tulsi plant survived for around 7 months. I completely understand that Tulsi can die because of sunlight, watering, drainage, soil, pests, temperature or other ordinary reasons. So I am not saying that the plants dying proves anything. But when I looked back at everything, the timing made me curious. I also felt that the overall atmosphere of our house changed during my MIL's stay. There was a lot of emotional tension, arguments, stress and an uncomfortable atmosphere in the house. At the same time, my husband's behaviour toward his mother became much more intense than I had ever seen before. There was also an incident involving my gold jewellery. Some gold was given to me from my side/family, and later I came to know that my MIL had used my gold to make jewellery for herself. My husband apparently did not know about this beforehand. When I discovered it, I was obviously very hurt because the jewellery was mine. But again, when I look at the entire period together, it makes me wonder whether I am simply noticing a series of unrelated incidents or whether there is something I don't understand. I want to make one thing very clear: I am NOT saying that my MIL definitely did black magic. I have absolutely no proof of that. I am asking because I have heard many Bengali/Hindu beliefs about negative energy, evil eye, tantra, black magic, energy draining, Tulsi drying, sudden changes in family behaviour and spiritual influence. I genuinely don't know which things are traditional beliefs and which are simply superstition. So I would really like to hear from people who understand these things. Some of the questions I have are: 1. Can repeatedly dying Tulsi plants have any spiritual or Vastu meaning, especially when several plants die within a relatively short period? 2. Is there any Bengali belief about a person's sudden influence over another family member's behaviour? 3. Can black magic or negative energy supposedly manifest as sudden emotional attachment, obsession or personality changes? 4. Does repeatedly feeling that someone is staring at you have any spiritual significance, or is it simply normal human behaviour? 5. Does extremely foul or unusual breath have any traditional spiritual interpretation, or should this simply be considered a medical/dental issue? 6. Is there any significance when someone's arrival in a home seems to coincide with repeated arguments, plants dying, financial problems, changes in relationships or sudden changes in another person's behaviour? 7. Does someone's complicated relationship history or alleged affairs have any relevance in traditional Bengali beliefs about negative energy, or are these things completely separate? 8. Are there traditional Bengali ways of checking whether a house has negative energy or evil eye without doing anything dangerous? 9. If someone genuinely believes their home has negative energy, what safe and harmless traditional remedies do people follow? 10. Is there any significance to keeping Tulsi, lighting a diya, chanting mantras, using Ganga water or other traditional practices? 11. Are there any specific Bengali traditions that families follow to protect a house from evil eye or negative energy? 12. Most importantly, are there any genuine signs that spiritual practitioners consider meaningful, or am I simply connecting unrelated events because I was already uncomfortable with the situation? I am especially interested in hearing from older Bengali people, people familiar with traditional Bengali households, priests, people knowledgeable about Vastu, or anyone who has genuinely studied these beliefs. Please don't attack my MIL or tell me to fight with my family. I am not looking for a way to blame someone. I simply want to understand whether there is any traditional or spiritual explanation for this combination of incidents, while also being completely open to ordinary explanations. I am a new mother now, so I am particularly concerned about keeping my home peaceful and safe for my baby. Please tell me honestly if you think these could be meaningful clues, or whether there are completely normal explanations for everything I described. I genuinely want both perspectives.