Comments for Post #C28001

Why arranged marriage due diligence must go both ways

📋 ARRANGED MARRIAGE — REVERSE SOP FOR BOYS 😂 GIRL’S FAMILY: “Salary kitni hai?” “Haath mein kitna aata hai?” “Apna ghar hai?” “Kitni property hai?” “Loan kitna hai?” “Parents kya karte hain?” “Family ki income?” “Bhai-behen kya karte hain?” “Family responsibility kitni hai?” “Job permanent hai?” “Future mein kitna kamaoge?” “CIBIL kaisa hai?” And finally: “Hum apni beti de rahe hain, beta.” 😌 Fair enough, Uncle. If this is called responsible parenting, boys should also become responsible. But don’t ask questions directly. That would be rude. We have an SOP. 😂 ⸻ 1. 🩺 FULL HEALTH AUDIT Do: Pre-marital medical examination + CBC, HbA1c, liver/kidney function, BP and doctor-recommended infectious-disease screening. Solves: “Koi major health issue toh nahi?” ⸻ 2. 🧬 GENETIC AUDIT Do: Thalassemia/haemoglobinopathy screening + relevant carrier screening such as SMA based on medical/family-history assessment; genetic counselling if indicated. Solves: “Family mein hereditary disease toh nahi?” ⸻ 3. 👶 REPRODUCTIVE & FAMILY-PLANNING CHECK Do: Document the couple’s agreed expectations about children; where there are medical concerns, get appropriate reproductive consultation/testing for both partners. Solves: “Bacche chahiye? Kab? Fertility concern?” There is, unfortunately, no Government of India-certified “100% Baccha Guarantee Certificate.” 😂 ⸻ 4. 🍺 SUBSTANCE-USE AUDIT Do: Appropriate clinical assessment/testing where medically indicated; don’t pretend one blood test can reveal someone’s complete lifetime drinking, smoking or addiction history. Solves: “Drink? Smoke? Drugs? Addiction?” Because “occasionally” needs a separate Indian measurement system. 😂 ⸻ 5. 🧠 MENTAL-HEALTH CHECK Do: Relevant medical records/history where a significant condition materially affects married life, with professional assessment where clinically appropriate. Solves: “Gussa kaisa hai? Any major psychological issue?” Basically: Personality compatibility — now with documentation. 😂 ⸻ 6. 💳 CREDIT & DEBT AUDIT Do: Consent-based CIBIL/credit report + documentation of major loans, defaults, guarantees and co-borrower obligations. Solves: “Loan kitna hai? Financial burden toh nahi?” Because: Salary = income. EMI = reality. 😂 ⸻ 7. 📑 INCOME & TAX VERIFICATION Do: Exchange appropriate salary proof/Form 16/ITR and employment details. Solves: “Actual income kitni hai?” No need to submit the entire family’s ITR. This is marriage due diligence, not an Income Tax raid. 😂 ⸻ 8. 🏦 FAMILY LIABILITY AUDIT Do: Prepare a simple disclosure of material financial dependants and recurring obligations involving parents, siblings, business liabilities, etc. Solves: “Shaadi ke baad family ka burden kitna hai?” Because sometimes “family responsibility” comes with hidden EMI. 😂 ⸻ 9. 💼 CAREER & MARRIAGE PLAN Do: Put the important stuff on the table before marriage — job, relocation, career breaks, children, childcare, financial contribution and household expectations. Solves: “Shaadi ke baad kya plan hai?” No surprise Terms & Conditions update after marriage. ⸻ 10. ⚖️ MATERIAL LEGAL / MARITAL HISTORY Do: Appropriate documentary verification of material previous marriage/divorce and significant ongoing legal or financial obligations, wherever relevant. Solves: “Past mein koi important complication?” Because nobody wants the plot twist after interval. 😂 ⸻ AND THE MOST IMPORTANT CLAUSE: If the girl agrees to this SOP… The boy will undergo the EXACT SAME SOP. Same tests. Same documents. Same disclosures. Same scrutiny. Because that’s not: Patriarchy. ❌ Matriarchy. ❌ Feminism. ❌ Anti-feminism. ❌ That’s called NEUTRALITY. 😂 If one side can say: “Hum apni beti de rahe hain.” The other side can simply say: “Bilkul Uncle. Isi liye hum bhi apna beta de rahe hain.” 😂 Two adults. One marriage. Two-way due diligence. And if asking directly is awkward… Don’t ask. Run the SOP. 😂