Comments for Post #C27997

My husband had a child with another man's wife

I will explain it simply. The man I thought was my husband had a child with another man’s wife. He even gave the child his initials and allegedly drove her husband away. He called it love, even though she was already in an abusive relationship. He apparently helped her have a child to prove his manhood and silence the people who called him weak. I knew nothing about this. I foolishly considered him my god and believed that having a child would solve everything. Even though my mind was giving me warning signs, I trusted my heart and continued medical treatments, almost destroying myself. One day, when I found out about the affair, everything had already gone out of control. They had been doing this for nearly three years. He threw me out of the house, locked the doors, refused to give me food, brought people home, and created situations where someone would knock on the door at night to frighten me. I finally told him, “Fine, live your divine love. Just give me back my belongings and jewellery.” But while he was busy with his affair and deceiving me, he was also involved in business. Although he earned lakhs through IT, he still got into financial trouble because of his business. He pledged my jewellery for his debts. Then he gave me a deal. He said that any property bought after our marriage, or purchased in both our names, would belong to both of us. But the jewellery bought before marriage would belong to me, and my sarees belonged to my mother. He said he could release the jewellery given by his father from the loan, but only if I transferred a valuable property in a prime location into his name. He also told me that the money I earned was only enough for food, clothes, transportation and medical expenses because I earned only thousands while he earned lakhs. He said that if I accepted this deal, he would give me some property after a few years, once he settled his debts and supported his family. He even said I was responsible for doing this because I had spent several good years with him as his wife. My heart broke when he put this in writing. I could not digest it. When I filed a case against this toxic family, my lawyer took lakhs in fees. One year has passed, and I still have not received even my basic needs. Instead, my lawyer seems to be favouring the opposite side and intentionally slowing down the case. Now the opposite side has approached me for a mutual settlement. They are asking me to transfer the property into his name, accept only a small amount of money, take back my jewellery, and close all the cases. Otherwise, they say they will drag the case on for years. I honestly do not have the strength to keep fighting. I may look strong outside, but inside I am breaking every single day. I told him, “Go and live your life. Legally give me whatever belongs to me. I will even calculate the food, clothes, transportation and other expenses you provided for me.” He replied, “Everything belongs to me. What else do you want? Your life is over. What will you do after turning 30? Go, work hard, earn your own food, and live according to your qualifications. That is all you deserve. Otherwise, stay somewhere quietly. I will visit once a month.” This is the deal he is offering me. And this is what the legal system is like here. They keep asking how an abused woman can remain silent, why she is not doing this or that, why the case is slow, and why money is being spent. When I say that court cases are expensive, they tell me to take whatever is offered and leave. If I get angry, they say their ego will be hurt and they will stop cooperating. It is a rotten hell. Even when I wrote a confession anonymously to find some emotional relief after suffering panic attacks, trembling and health problems for almost six months, they took a screenshot of it and tried to use it against me in court. The lawyers involved, his family, his wife and daughter, and his mother—there is not even one genuine person among them. He has still not had the courage to face me directly. He says I insulted him by filing a case and that he is taking revenge. Tell me, is it not shameful to sleep with another man’s wife while leaving your own wife? Is it not shameful to deceive and financially exploit the woman who trusted you? Is it not shameful to use medical treatment and IVF to have a child with someone else and then tell your wife to give birth to a child, look at its face, and leave? Is it not shameful to eat the food provided by me and then throw me out of the house? Is it not shameful to say that because I lived with you for more than five years, I should share your debts if I want property, while the other woman gave you a child? Is it not shameful to say that I have no right even to touch you because she gave birth to your child? Is it not shameful to deceive the woman who trusted you, bring someone to knock on the door in the middle of the night, and use your aunt to create frightening situations? Is it not shameful to speak disrespectfully to my father even though you have a daughter yourself? Is it not shameful to do all this and then use my emotional confession against me when I was already traumatised? What more do you want? You live an elite, luxurious life filled with pubs, parties and trips. You believe that everyone should be used and exploited for your benefit. Is that not shameful? You say that I am not worthy of your lifestyle, so why are you still trying to destroy me? If you save the money you are giving me instead of returning my jewellery, you can settle your new family and continue your lavish lifestyle. Since you made losses through your business, I am the one expected to settle everything. Is nothing ever enough for you? What more do you want from the woman who trusted you, loved only you as her husband, and came into your life believing you were everything? You showed me hell and still do not feel satisfied. From the first year of our marriage until today, all I have heard about you is love affairs, women, pubs, parties, business debts, credit cards, rowdies and goons. I cannot take it anymore. I honestly admit that I was foolish. I was not wise enough to understand whom I had married. I spent all my twenties believing in you, loving you, caring for you and falling for you. Have you ever experienced the fear of thinking of your own husband as a stranger? Whenever I speak about the years we lived together, I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself. You wounded me. You turned my life into hell. Because of you, I cannot return comfortably to my parents’ home, and I have no home in my husband’s family either. I have been living between hostels, temples, courts and endless struggles. Even now, I am fighting with all the strength I have. I am finally walking away because I do not want anything from you anymore. I do not want to punish you legally, even though I could expose all the evidence through Instagram, YouTube, your workplace and everywhere else within seconds. I am choosing not to do that. I am leaving because the twelve years I spent loving and trusting you are enough punishment for me. All I ever wanted was someone to care for me, love me deeply, give me personal space, and allow me to live without being judged. I only want a job and a life of my own. Is that still not enough for you? Would giving me a house and my jewellery not be enough? What more do you want? As long as I had my father, his name gave me protection wherever I went. But from the day I married you, I lost everything—my family, my dreams of having a baby, a loving husband and a peaceful home. You pushed me to the point where I had to give up everything I once wanted. Still, I kept thinking that perhaps I was also at fault, and I walked away saying that God would take care of your life. But even after that, you continued to torture me through friends, acquaintances, lawyers and every other possible source, demanding that I take whatever you offered and leave. I never harmed you. Why did you destroy my life? You say you did all this because you wanted a child. But should I accept that as an excuse? Why did you sleep with her and get involved in business debts? Why should I compromise so that you can support her family by spending lakhs every month? She gave you a child, so does that make her innocent? If not having a child makes me cruel, then is her husband cruel because he could not give her love? If her husband’s love was not enough, why did your love become acceptable? Why should I be blamed for everything? I have suffered enough. I only want peace, dignity, a job and the freedom to rebuild my life.