Comments for Post #C27991

Use this as a reminder that you don't also comprise, raise your standards accordingly.

Bro, no marriage is better than a bad marriage.

Ask them how much they will spend in marriage and will u get a fortuner and destination wedding from their end… 300-400 gms gold etc I am not supporting dowry but if girl side being greedy than nothing wrong for guy side too..

Bro, you are NOT a bad investment, you dodged 4 bad investors. Read that again. 30M, Bangalore, own house + land + own financial consultancy - in this market, you are already top 5% self-made. The fact that you went with zero expectations about their salary (under 10 LPA) and they came with full balance sheet audit - that tells everything about their mindset, not your worth. What you faced is the new Bangalore arranged marriage reality: Girls/families with 0 property, rented house, old scooty, <10 LPA asking: - Rental yield kitna hai? - Land ka market price kya hai? - Car hai ya bike? Bhai ye shaadi nahi, Shark Tank hai. They are not looking for a life partner, they are looking for financial security + separate house + luxury from day 1 without contributing equally. And that feedback - "only one house in Bangalore, some land, and runs consultancy" - ONLY? In Bangalore, ONE house itself is a dream for most 30 year olds who are still paying 40k rent. You own it. Plus land. Plus your own practice. That's not "not financially sound", that's self-made. Trust me, you should thank them for rejecting. Imagine marrying into a family who measures your character by rental yield on first meeting - next they would measure how much you spend on their daughter vs how much you save for your parents. Arranged marriage is becoming a business transaction for many - especially in Bangalore. But not for everyone. There are still families who look for heart, values, hard work. You just met 4 wrong ones on one day. Don't let 4 audits shatter confidence built over years of hard work. Your 4 one-sided crushes show you are a genuine guy, not a player - that's a green flag. Keep your filter strong: If first meeting starts with property, end it there. Ask about values, family, life goals. The right girl will ask about YOU, not your yield. You are good, bro. The process is broken, not you.

If you(any men) want to marry be ready to transfer your wealth to women+lawyer. Nowadays marriage is a 100% low-risk business for women to build wealth.

Bro few months back, something similar happened with me 😂 U went there keeping a relation and future in mind, they came there with a business deal in mind. Same thing, different intentions. It's okay. Let it be. They are entitled to their choices and u are entitled to ur own. Why take load on urself what someone else thinks? Just focus on urself and let these encounters be a "part of ur life" and not ur "whole life"

Some women's families have unrealistic expectations.

The market rate for a guy to get married is like min 5 Cr with a decent enough person. I will share a story of mine, Met this girl at a restaurant (with her family), they asked us to talk separately, she asked me about my in hand salary to emis, investments, if i own a house etc, after an hour of these talks she said, "I am not interested in marriage my mom forced to meet, please you yourself reject" (I am glad she said that, but not sure why she wanted to investigate me) In nutshell, people are looking for a retirement plan in marriage. So it is what it is. If you are expecting someone with these kinda expectations, i don't think arranged marriage will be easy for you. Be a retirement plan or be single. (I won't say all are the same, majority of the people I met are of the same mindset, you are valued for the money or properties you have.)

"I didn't go with expectations about their salary I just wanted a geniune life partner". Men, why don't you have expectations of salary from a girl? Even in today's time? Just like someone who doesn't do household work will not understand it's equally difficult, similarly one who doesn't earn or, earns but doesn't plan finances for a steady future and uses money only to enjoy will not respect the hardships of finance planning. Not expecting your wife to be earning and contributing to the finances doesn't make you sound good, it makes you vulnerable in today's world. Go in with this mindset and you will find a partner.

Ask the girl's father same questions about his daughter. How much does she earn? Do she has investments? How many properties she is having? Is she ready to pay half rent if you shift to another house after marriage? Do she has any loans or running emi on her name? Is she ready to work after marriage? Dont get offended. Ask these questions and go for best investment mentally and financially

>> I met four different prospects in a single day. >> Sounds like a weekend shopping spree. Not like trying to find a genuine, kind life partner. >> my character, values, or family >> how all this can be verified?? >> Some of these families were living in rented homes themselves with almost no property to speak of—just an old scooty >> this is interesting!! May be they don't want to marry off their high earning daughter and lose her income. I would like to hear what these girl's think about their own family. Getting used for money by parents or in-laws or both - that's the choice some 'achiever girls' have ☹️ >> When my parents followed up >> they called all four families (after prioritising them as per you+families' checklist)? All four rejected you? Or just the one whom you liked most?

Most issues start with finances and who doesn't want stability and security...it's a lifetime we are talking about...not something we can walk in and out anytime. Maybe the approach could have been softer.

There is no heart and character in arranged marriage. The idea of arranged marriage itself is to find a girl/boy from a family of similar or better background. All women are earning well now, so the standards of wanted groom also have increased. If finding a soul mate is your goal, wait until u fall in love.

You just met the wrong people who's greedy. Very hard to find who's not.

Seems like society had a good solution for this type of cases which we dumped recently iykyk😂

Better focus on your goals. Nobody will agree because they are averse to risks that come with Entrepreneurship. You're just 30. Also marriage can also be a liability for men these days. The odds of success are just 50%. Why not focus on becoming your business?

Arranged marriage can definitely feel transactional, but one family’s rejection doesn’t define your worth. You’re looking for a life partner, not an investor. Keep your standards for character and compatibility, and don’t let this shake your confidence.

I can understand why this experience hurt, especially when you went into the process looking for compatibility rather than comparing assets and salaries. Being rejected with the comment that you are “not financially sound enough” can certainly feel dehumanising after years of building your career. At the same time, financial questions in an arranged marriage aren't necessarily wrong. Marriage involves finances, living arrangements, career plans and responsibilities, so both families are entitled to understand each other's expectations. The problem arises when these questions become an assessment of someone's net worth rather than a conversation about financial compatibility. Also, it is important not to conclude from four meetings that “people don't value character anymore.” There are plenty of families who prioritise personality, values, emotional maturity and compatibility, just as there are people who place greater emphasis on financial security. Your experience may simply have shown you that those particular families had expectations that didn't align with yours. That's disappointing, but it isn't a measure of your worth or the success of what you've built. In fact, this kind of early mismatch is better discovered before marriage than after it. Don't let four unsuitable matches make you question yourself. Keep your standards around the qualities that genuinely matter to you, communicate your own expectations clearly, and look for someone whose definition of a good marriage is compatible with yours.

Bro, when u can maintain or if u don't need financial support from partner, then y u need a bangalore partner, go out of the circle and try some where else in KA. may be u might get as u expect.

The questions are now turned towards the eligible boys. Earlier it was the boy's side who used to ask how much u will be giving money , whether the girl's parents are rich . Whether it is a huge family and they don't want their son to take up any responsibility of the girl' s side. Now it has become vice versa. The girls are well qualified and doing very well in their career and want to know the details of the boys. It is really very disheartening to do from both sides . That is the reason many boys and girls remain single ..

Keep looking. You don't want any relations with this kind of people. Next time, you meet someone, do not even disclose all your properties, bank n Balance or land. Just let them know what you do what you earn and your own house if you are living in it. That is the excellent way of weeding our greedy people.

Arrange marriage is a long and overdrawn process.. Don't loose hope.. These girls were not right but the right person will come along. Don't worry follow your heart

They're just rejecting the rejection to COPE!! You're doing well my friend!! Keep it up! Never ever lower your standards for anyone!

Mostly they see you as a commodity in the matrimonial market

Because even you got shocked when asked to live separately from your parents. Whereas a girl is expected to do it without batting an eyelid. If you expect the woman to follow tradition then you too will be subjected to the same assesment wherein your finances and assets will matter.

God saved you from gold diggers ! Stay put - Positive things will follow through. God bless you

You are lucky that you were rejected by these business minded people before marriage....you have done enough for what is needed to have a decent, beautiful life. Don't be too depressed as you still have enough time to get a good partner for you. Continue your work with positive mindset, you will get what you really deserve. Marry the one who values you more than materials and assets.

For a good and hard working guy there are many girls who really deserve a guy like you. Take time and choose a needy one

How about meeting one person at a time and actually trying to find a genuine connection? Four matches in a day? really? And What exactly did you expect? You’re treating marriage like shopping at a mall. compare, evaluate, move on. And then you complain after one experience. Maybe ask yourself how different your approach really is from the people you’re criticizing. This attitude explains quite a lot about why never found a girlfriend all this while.

Marriage is a scam nowadays...stay single, stay happy bro..

Marriage is legal prostitution and the sellers always win it’s a rigged game against beta men

Marriage was always a business transaction....just that...it's visible now due to the false cases ....

You r good. Actually u r a man. Those people will going to fell with fraud people. Move on. Angel wil come and marry u. Wait for the moment

arrange marriage is transaction.. nothing to be sad about it...its luck after all to get a sound life partner

If you really decided to go for arranged marriage, then atleast don't go for the families who themselves don't have anything and have high expectations. Atleast go for families who themselves own something then, asking for similar wealth. Raise your standards .

This is reality....sad but true

I have faced a similar situation. They even asked what is my father salary... how much i give them monthly(since i am single child)... how much gold ur mother have... tbh i simply said no after the call

Hard core reality 😢 nothing else

I think these are valid questions. But do not lose your heart, the right person will come in right time.

Honestly if any of my words matter or make a difference - First of all kudos to you for setting up your own and being self made - I completely understand the pain behind it! Second of all, let’s live in the present and enjoy life I’m pretty sure you’ll attract the right kind soon ✨

Mariage is a business set up as well, you are new & not well versed, hence the shock or apathy noticed. It's nothing new. Send a elder first next time, let him sort out the financial logistics & rigmaroles first, as mariage is also btwn families. Once yr elder is done, then you meet up & continue, so you don't hv to handle financial economics anymore

I did look for heart and character but was deceived in all ways possible. Today my child and I are, both struggling.But then it was a love marriage, so I have to own up to my mistake and can't blame anyone. Coming to your situation, if they are asking you all such questions then you also should ask them the same things about their daughters. I feel if a guy is supposed to have his own car and house before marriage and also a bank balance then so should the girl. Why are all financial expectations from men..?!? I would say wait for the right person. Take time and don't rush. Heart and character still matter but the person has to be right for you..

If your husband can't stand up for you when you are right, then think hard...

Yes, marriage is transactional these days. You should have asked these same questions back to them? Why do you feel small just because someone else judged you. You are good in your own view and that is enough. Grow a thick skin. Give it back to the Shallow folks who question your worth. These days even girls are expected to be well educated and earning well. Or forget arranged and try dating. Even that is messy these days but never know where luck will take you.

Bro stay focused right person will come that only thing I can say

What u expect at 30 years age ....u have much more than your age.....ignore this kind of proposal

Today's marriage market is an open prostitution by women's parents. Feminism combined with Indian judiciary has turned most women into delusional psychos who know they can get away with loot and murder. The biggest irony is that even well informed men, knowing that every institution in the country is deployed to destroy and impoverish men, are still living in a fool's paradise about marriage. Only 3 types of men marry today - super rich, super brave or super dumb.

Arranged marriage was always a business transaction. Ask your parents and grandparents. You are in total delusion. It's a marketplace. They have a right to decide their priorities, just as you have a right to decide yours. No parents of a girl would want their daughter to undergo material hardships. Your exalted opinion about yourself is of no value here. You cannot force anyone to like you and criticize them if they don't.

From girls side, boys side wants to household chores, expect investment savings of girls,girls financial loan or commitment,no. Value for girls,education or their values,

Screw arranged marriage.

If they had asked about your character values family you would be still more hurt anybody says he or she is bad valueless etc if people ask anything that is wrong in this generation

Welcome to the club, trust me this will push you to depression and you will go half bald before you find a suitable girl and at that time you will be rejected for having less hairs 🤣 so just chill bro, I can understand your frustration since you posted abt this problem in a confession page at very early stage... just relax and search for girls very slow and with a cool mind

Why u care about their comments on u? And u dont have to marry those indians, go out to SEA and find a proper wife.