Comments for Post #C27979

You wanted to be friendly, but they aren't interested. You've apologised for last time and didn't get any reply. Sometimes no reply is a reply in itself. Please understand that and let it be. Arrange chairs and tables from outside.

What you have mentioned about the episode, it’s visible that you have understood the mistakes of your behaviour. Therefor work on your mindset and behaviour so that you do not end up in this kind of situation in future. Put yourself in their shoes. It’s absolutely unacceptable by anyone to be told and corrected for their behaviour by a neighbour. No one wants moral policing. These are the boundaries no one should cross. No matter how close you are to the people. It’s good you apologised. Also, kindly don’t justify yourself by putting tags on the family. They may be whatever. But no one is supposed to be the moral police in anyone’s house.

To be very frank, we can’t correct others. Let them be what they are! Moreover mother herself isn’t bothered. Why would get disturbed whether they are grown well. It all means that we should know our limits.

Just keep them at a distance. Never compromise on your self respect to any body any day, any age.

Where there's no respect, never go and do not talk to people who are disrespectful. Once they are shunned and treated the same way they will understand the value or they will never even bother. For your health and peace, just forget them and don't even say hi even if they are the first ones to make moves.

You are expecting. Do not spoil your mood and health by fretting about this. It's alright, don't worry about their reaction to your mistake. Divert yourself, make new friends, look forward to your bundle of joy

You can guide your kids and your family. No right on others. You are correct on your side and they are on their. Try to avoid contact if you cannt control ur expectations

She has a narcissist and now unemployed husband... And his son is on his footsteps... She is already handling a lot.. U never know if she is facing domestic violence too... Theirs is a toxic family unfortunately who have kids... Ignore them and keep kids in ur prayers as they are the ones who have to live with traumatic past and bear the mistakes of their parents...

When you know that they don't like, you have to distance yourself.. stop communicating and move on with your other works..

What annoying is that you spent time writing this. They are living in your head rent free. You have better things to do in life. Move on and cut all connections with that family.

I think there are two separate issues here, and both sides need to take some responsibility. The son's behaviour, especially throwing money at an adult and telling you to leave, was clearly disrespectful and inappropriate. Whatever irritation he may have felt, there are better ways for a child to communicate that he doesn't want interaction. At the same time, expecting a 10 year old to greet you because you greeted him is reasonable as a courtesy, but you cannot demand affection or a response from a child. He may be shy, uncomfortable, or simply not interested in interacting. Repeatedly correcting him about how he should behave toward you can eventually feel intrusive, even if your intention is good. The bigger turning point seems to have been the unannounced visit followed by the conversation about the children's behaviour. Your friend explicitly told you that the children were growing and might dislike being corrected. Instead of leaving the subject there, bringing up the fact that you felt deliberately ignored, and doing so in a louder voice, probably escalated an already uncomfortable situation. Your daughter's response was also blunt, but you may have been reacting to what you perceived as criticism of your family. I also wouldn't diagnose the husband, mother or children as “narcissists” based on a neighbour's account. We simply don't know enough about their family dynamics. As for the baby shower, I wouldn't mix the two issues. Don't ask her for the table and chairs as though nothing happened. You've already apologised, so give her some space. If she responds and the friendship is repaired, you can discuss the arrangements later. If she doesn't, make an alternative arrangement now rather than depending on someone with whom the relationship is currently strained. And I wouldn't necessarily go completely “no contact” either. You are neighbours. A polite, respectful distance is enough. No more unannounced visits, no lectures about the children, and no expectation that they must greet or interact with you. Most importantly, being seven months pregnant doesn't make you unreasonable, but neither does it make every uncomfortable interaction a result of hormones. There was genuine disrespect from the child, but there were also boundary issues on the adult side. The healthiest response now is to acknowledge your part, maintain your dignity, give them space, and move on without turning one unpleasant incident into a larger neighbourhood conflict.

U boomer aunty

I’d go low-contact, not dramatic no-contact. You did overstep by correcting the child, but the “take this money and go away” response was extremely disrespectful. For the baby shower, don’t ask her for help now—make alternate arrangements and keep things polite. Her silence is also an answer.

Leave all of them alone. You deserve better friends.

People you consider close friends/ family may not consider you the same. You were disrespected and insulted.time to raise your standards. Don't bow too low. It's self humiliation.chairs and tables are not coming from another planet. It's easy to find online. Focus on your health and baby. Be happy..

U r pregnant. U jus don't get these freaks into ur mind. Never ever get into touch with them anymore. U need not fight or say sorry for u correcting their kids. Jus leave and live as if they don't exist. Bcoz ur child health is greatly affected by ur mental health.. Be away from such misbehaviours and have ur baby shower happily.

Stop bothering them and live your life. You deserved what happened.

You should not fix other people's frustrations. Leave them be. Ignore them forever until their kids apologize.

Very good suggestions here.

don't go. stick only with your family

Taking another POV, you seem to be quite an intrusive and judgemental neighbour, and her kids are rude and out of line. You may also want to correct your own behaviour.

Oppss!

What I am finding amusing is both kids don’t have any manners and yet they are teaching manners to you. Whole family should have apologised to you. Instead you were the one who apologised. Shame on this family. I will count mother of those kids equally responsible. Because she has her hands in raising those ungrateful kids. My advice- Don’t be polite to them. Ignore them as if they don’t exist. They don’t deserve the care and affection you are ready to pour on them.

Better to avoid contacting her

Better to go no contact ..seems like a toxic family except the mom ... And also please do not ask for a hi or even talk with a kid when a parent is already uncomfortable with the situation...I mean cleanly the kid disrespects and ignores u ..why do u wanna be acknowledged by them so badly ? It maybe the hormones since u r pregnant, but my best advise is go no contact and also don't even think about letting ur baby near them

This is NOT about you dropping unannounced. This is about 3 people in that house who don't respect their own mother who does everything - how will they respect a neighbour? A 10 year old throwing cash? A 17 year old shouting at a pregnant woman who came with sweets? This is deeply wrong parenting. You apologized, that's enough. Now go no-contact. Don't ask for tables/chairs for baby shower, manage otherwise. Your peace and baby's health is more important than furniture. This is not hormones, this is their character.

You yourself said that the Husband is a narc and also laid off . He is controlling the entire household now even more . Narcs don't like love , compassion, friendliness, softness , inclusion , humour etc . They can't smile nor laugh nor talk . They thrive on controlling, hurting , humiliating, abusing etc . For them being strict and serious is a standard . The boy when he comes to you enters a loveable and friendly environment. Because he still is a small child he easily falls for love and care and empathy. The other is grown up , controlled and trained by her father. She can survive in that house only if she is like her father not her mother. 17 years she absorbed all the behavioural patterns . Don't think too much about this as you are pregnant. The boy when grown up will definitely come back to you showering back all the love you gave. He is just child right now

No way, you should not contact her let alone ask for any help.

Keep no contact with them.

Don't and I repeat, never ever involve with family, friends or neighbors that involves a narc. No matter what you think are doing to make things better or whatever you think it is, it'll never work out. Just cut off or keep things at arms length away and superficial. There's no "turning things around" with narcs, and especially their victims who has developed Stockholm syndrome. Just stay away, you'll get pulled into the shîtťy pit sooner or later. It's pitiful, but there's no other way, just keep your peace, that's more important. Also, just in case if you are, don't be that annoying extroverted person who keeps poking in other people's business and private space all in the name of socializing, virtue signaling, and checking on others. People, especially Introverts find that supper annoying and will hąte it. It's as worst as dealing with a narc, and there really are extroverts who really really thinks their behavior is not a problem. They are also as worst as narc in some way. Lol

Typical indian mindset, there are boundaries that must be respected

Sorry to say but u sound like an interfering lady let them live the way they want to and u live ur life the way u want to .

Leave all of them at their sake. They are just spoiled little brats, victims of toxic behavior and bad parenting too ( maybe) . Make new friends. Never ever contact the lady again. Right now you need a good environment. And seriously your neighbour is the worst. Good that you know where you made the mistakes. Kick them out of your life

Dude it's either you are having an affair with her or you r just an absolute dickhead. Don't waste your time. She will use you to do errands for her