Comments for Post #C27952

This is financial and emotional abuse. Talk to other relatives together. Make a plan: 3 months notice to find separate accommodation. Offer to help with moving, but be clear - parents can't support 2 families on pension. Your parents' mental health comes first. You’re doing the right thing by speaking up.

If your parents are okay with it then you shouldn't have any problem with it. What you can do is ask the same favors from your parents. If they are doing it for 1 daughter then they should do it for the other daughter also. Parents are obligated to treat their kids equally

I don't think you're wrong to be concerned, but I would frame the issue less as “your sister must leave” and more as your retired parents need financial and emotional boundaries in their own home. If your sister and her husband are both earning and have been living there for years without contributing while your father is using credit cards and even pledging your mother's jewellery for medical expenses, then the arrangement is clearly becoming financially unsustainable. Their decision to stay should not come at the cost of your parents' retirement, health or peace of mind. At the same time, there may be reasons behind your sister's previous and current marital situation that you don't fully know. So instead of making this a confrontation between siblings, your parents should have a calm and direct discussion with her and her husband about expenses, responsibilities and a realistic timeline for becoming independent. For example, they can clearly establish, household expenses that the couple needs to contribute toward, who will handle the parents' medical costs, and whether this is a temporary arrangement or a permanent one. If they genuinely want to stay because they are supporting the parents, that support should be visible in both financial contribution and caregiving, not just a statement. Also, your sister questioning who can visit your parents or speak to your mother is a separate boundary issue. Your parents should be free to maintain relationships with their other children and relatives without needing anyone's permission. You also don't need to personally fight with your sister or convince her to leave. You can support your parents financially if you're able to, but ultimately your parents need to assert their own boundaries. If they are capable of making decisions, their wishes should be respected rather than having the entire family fight over their behalf. And the repeated threats of “I'll die if you send me away” should not be dismissed, but they also shouldn't be allowed to control everyone indefinitely. Any genuine self harm threat should be taken seriously and handled with appropriate professional help rather than being used as a reason to keep an unsustainable arrangement going. The goal shouldn't be to punish your sister or win an argument. It should be to make sure your parents can live their retirement with dignity, financial security and peace.

U mind ur own business. None shud interfere unless sm1 gets physical

She will force parents to make a will in favor of her. Find legal route. U need to confidentiality speak to your parents to understand what they want. As long as they are alive, they can refuse the entry of your sister as well.

No, you’re not wrong for worrying about your retired parents. ❤️ The main issue isn’t whether your sister stays with them, but whether she is contributing fairly and respecting their financial and emotional limits. Your parents shouldn’t have to go into debt while supporting a working adult and her family. Have a calm family discussion, set clear boundaries, and focus on your parents’ wellbeing rather than fighting with your sister. 🙏

book kaasi or shiradi elders group trip, covering 10 - 14 days, ask parents to enjoy their retirement time and ask them often go to their other relatives home and enjoy their time, ur sister sitting there just for pampering and using your parents as her care taker..

Please set up your parents in a good senior citizen s home.. with his pension.. plus arrange to rent out the house or sell ( bad idea)... If they move out... Atleast she has to manage everything as a first point

Whose house is it Parents ? Trick is First financially help move parents out. Only rent will be free Everything else is going to be expensive and difficult. Meanwhile ur parents will be emotionally at a better space. Finances is the main reason some parents sacrifice. But they have a right to live their life free and not be parents always And grandparents

Leech mentality or hidden intention, most probably claim over their property only for herself. The only people who have to act in this situation is ur parents. If they still remain under the emotional illusion that she is my princess, they will suffer more. Their princess is waiting for them to die so she can claim property all by herself.

Erm, book a round trip for your parents. Do not inform sis and CATEGORICALLY tell parents not to inform. Just a day before they can pack their clothes etc. Preferably a road/ train trip so she cannot blackmail and jump on next flight. They need to be in a diff place for a week at least to enjoy their own free time and talk about the situation objectively. Else, send dabbas for your parents. No food will be cooked in the house. Yous sis and BIL can figure what to do with their hungry kids. Your sister and more importantly her husband (he has no say what his wife, children do?) are both weird. Your parents and you need to ensure she gets the message. If the house belongs to your parents am 200% sure she wants it in her name ONLY.

Definitely people don't want a ghar jamai 😅, just a joke don't take it seriously.... They want to have the property for themselves, I have seen siblings like that who think that they are only his/her parents and property only belongs to them, not the responsibilities even if they have other brothers or sisters... if you Want to trick them then go for it but don't let it consume your peace of mind, also if possible engage your parents in some fun activities so that they can enjoy and forget these nonsense.

Hi... You are 100% right. Your sister and her husband are freeloading, emotionally blackmailing, and financially abusing your retired parents. An IT professional with 18 years of experience living off a retired father’s pension—forcing him to use credit cards for groceries and pledge gold for medical bills—is toxic and unacceptable. Key Reality Checks * Emotional Blackmail & Entitlement: Her threats to self-harm whenever asked to live independently are classic manipulation tactics designed to keep your parents fearful and compliant. * Enabling Husband: Her husband staying there under the guise of "caring for her parents" while contributing zero financial support is freeloading under the pretext of responsibility. * Hostile Ownership: Her behavior—demanding relatives inform her before visiting, restricting your access to your mother, and removing your belongings—shows she has taken territorial control of your parents' home. Action Plan to Protect Your Parents * Take Over the Household Finances Directly: * Stop asking her to pay—she clearly won't. Instead, step in directly to support your father. Pay off your father's credit card bills or directly order/deliver groceries and medical supplies to the home so your father doesn't incur debt. * Hold a Firm Family Meeting with Your Father: * Sit down privately with your father without your sister present. Help him realize that her presence is hurting their health, not helping them: > "Pa, you served us all your life. It is not your responsibility to feed two working adults and their children on your pension. We need to set firm boundaries to protect your peace and health." > * Set Clear Financial & Living Boundaries: * Your father must issue a clear deadline or structural change: either her husband pays a fixed monthly contribution towards utility bills and food, or they rent their own house. * Assert Your Own Rights: * Do not seek her permission to visit your parents or keep your belongings in your childhood home. Make it clear to her that it is your parents' house, not hers, and you will visit whenever you want. Bottom Line: Your sister is exploiting your parents' fear and kindness. Step up as your parents' protector, secure their finances, and stop enabling her toxic control.

simple take ur parents with u and u take care of them...dont allow her to come to ur place and she will also not come...just take ur parents with u which is the ultimate solution...make sure all properties are shared equally after subtracting whatever she spent already

Bring your parents to your house for a month and from there send them to a vacation... during this period inform ur sister to vacate the house. during this period ask ur parents not to provide any expenses to your sister and also no major groceries should be available in your parental house...if possible ask the maid to stop coming, but pay her salary... Involve ur nearest relatives in this process...but most importantly your parents have to speak up against this abuse...

She wants the property to herself. Chase her out fast

Claim and ask half the house share from your parents and then let them sell and give you your share and then buy a new independent house for them in your name and let your sister do whatever with her share and don't let her touch parents pension and your house in which parents live, boycott her from your lives for some time, see if thing change

Is no one seeing this greedy fellow who doesn't offer to take his parents to his own house. Do you guys really think, if his parents need the money and he offered, they would refuse. Too many gaps in his story...it looks like he wants to assert himself, while the parents are alive. God, why do people have kids at all?

Don't worry whatever she does will affect her back financially and health wise in some years .

OMG is she insane

Property ka khel hai bhaiya bas....behen tumhara hissa bhi khayegi

Why don't you bring your parents to your place for few months/years? Let sister, BIL, their kids stay in father's house. I think your father is also at fault here. He is following some old traditional mentality "won't take a single penny from earning daughter. Neither you, nor her."

Some daughters/sons are so. They know well that they are exploiting others but still do it for their own comfort and luxury. And if we confront them, they ll choose suicide blackmail or blame the parents for choosing then such a life.. It's a deadlock untill ur parents themselves take a bold decision to say NO to ur sister. I also have a SIL like this, who never allow my FIL or MIL to be happy . Always complaining, asking money , living a luxury life all out of parents or sibling's money and created problem in all our lives.. But she pretends to be Victim .. Shame on such creatures..

Tell her to switch job and give her suggestions bcz IT has so much money. She can multiply her salary. And who knows where new job might take her. I personally think that she is a lazy and greedy woman. She doesn't want to take care of anything. For everything she needs support. And financially you don't know how much she is even earning. Maybe it's not that much... Please don't force her. She might always like to expand her salary bcz everyone wants that.

Are you people stupid or what she is not going to commit suicide she is only saying this to blackmail you. Just give a police complaint they will deal with these losers. You guys need to take a strong decision or say to her if she didn't get out of their house they will give sell the house and move some where or give the house to you like that there are 100 solution for you prblm. But you people are the one enabling her . Or simply you guys can through her luggage outside while she is not home and lock the doors.

Just throw her out .. in simple words

Insane story

Are you 2 sisters the only children? I mean no brother (and his wife) to kick your sister's asssss If yes then ask for your share of property and divide everything into 2 parts. Keep the parents in your part but be owner in records. Let your sister do whatever she wants to do with her share and cut all ties with her.