40M, Married for 15 years and have two kids (boys). Our marriage was a love come arranged marriage. I am bit lethargic, less talented but very hard working and social (so outsiders doesn’t know I am less talented and knowledgeable). My wife is very sharp, knowledgeable, always cautious but very introvert, timid, doesn’t trust ppl easily. I always do what she wants but 70% of the time with less interest. If it fails she blames me for my carelessness, if it resulted good I appreciate her but if I didn’t work I never share my thoughts as I don’t want to hurt her feelings or demotivate her. In last 5 years most of our decision costed us lot of money, stress and more work. (Most of the decisions are initiate by her but she thinks it’s our decision.) So I decided not to support her decisions anymore that created a big drift between us. Not talking much, no intimacy just living for the sake of kids. We both understand divorce will impact kids life. Not ready to talk and sort out. Looks like we gave up on each other . Not sure how it’s going to end.
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Its already ended ...it's just you living as Room partners in the same house ...she works to keep the house and kids ...you go out and work for expenses to be taken care .. so it's dead end for both you ...if you want , then go for marriage counselling or love just like room mates
You guys really balance each other . Please don’t give up on your spouse instead sit and talk about it . Go on a vacation and have genuine conversations . Sometimes just speaking your mind fix it all.
What exactly were these decisions? See, fact is you're married and decisions must be made as a couple rather than individual. Communication is critical and perhaps you need to be more open with your wife regards your feelings. Bottling up feelings makes matters worse
It's commendable that you have such insight and I'm very sorry to hear that you feel like you both are there just for the sake of kids. But believe me when I say this, it actually affects the kids, even if you are pretending to be happy in front of them... Having said that, it's not that late, things can be mended... Please seek marriage counseling or couple therapy. Even if you are ready to give up on your marriage... Why not give therapy a try and see where things move from there.
Are you talking about financial, investments decisions? Property, mutual fund, SIP types? If you both are earning then keep your investments separate. In only own name. You can discuss and ask other's opinions. But final decision and consequences are ONLY OWN. BTW if your "wife is very sharp, knowledgeable, always cautious, doesn’t trust ppl easily", then MOST OF THE TIMES her decisions should be good. But that doesnt mean you shouldn't investigate pros and cons on your own and discuss those doubts with wife, BEFORE acting on them. You can't always hide behind "I always do what she wants but 70% of the time with less interest." And then internally blame her "most of our decision costed us lot of money, stress and more work."
Family is a unit. Everyone takes decisions in the interest of this unit. Some decisions go wrong. So what. It happens. You are holding it against your spouse Some decisions having gone wrong. Either you get more involved in family decisions or let her handle. Many marriages do become routine existential exercise. Its up to the couple to reignite it. Talk it over, that's the only way in a relationship. Good luck.
Everyone is in the same boat
Go for a vacation with family. Preferably a family trek.
Too much Herculean heaviness
Don't initiate divorce from your side. Seems your wife is cunning and money minded. She may financially trap you
Don’t find the sufficient logic or reason for giving up here
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