I am a 29 women living with my husband after getting married around a year ago. My husband and we are happily most of the time with ourselves but the remaining time makes me feel like getting out of this marriage. We fight only one thing all the time is his mother. He's extremely responsible and committed to his parents and trust me I don't have any problems with that. He is the only child and his parents are wholly responsible on his for everything financially. He happily does everything for his patents. Now here comes about me, I try my best to support him both financially and by doing everything I can do to help him . What always triggers me is he never admits anything wrong for his mother, his mother is extremely arrogant and self proud kind of reason out of no reason, absolutely no reason, she keeps saying she is extremely valuable, extremely respected I don't know what have she done with her life that makes her so over proud and arrogant. If anyone including his son doesn't give little bit less attention she makes a scene and my husband rather than taking it a concern takes it as a matter of happiness, he says that his s Mother has been extremely pampered since the beginning and it's something he can't change, I have to accept it. Even if there's something wrong his mother does, says he'll always defend her. He always has one excuse that they are aged now(actually she is around 45 year old). I can't, I repeat I can't tolerate this that my man always disagreeing with me and never accepts that yes this his mother's fault. Even I didn't ask him to admit it with his mother, at least in front of me. He always keeps defending his mother... He doesn't do absolutely any responsibility for my family, both financially and other ways, I don't like this fact that I'm trying my best to do everything for his family, have been supporting his parents financially and other ways but he doesn't do anything. He always keeps his presents' responsibility at the first place over mine . He says that he will do anything and everything for his parents to be happy and for me I barely find something in this marriage. I have ruined my mental health and life goal, my everything for this thing. We do not ever fight on anything else expect his parents, absolutely nothing. I have understood one thing that he'll not change, I want to change myself. I don't want to end this marriage, can anyone please help me how can I get out of this mental trauma and his thoughts completely, I want to be totally unbothered about whatever hell is happening with his and his mother. Please help
Share your thoughts anonymously.
ℹ️ Your comment will be posted publicly on Facebook if it complies with our community guidelines.
does ur mil give birth to ur husband at 16? fascinating
Stop fighting about who is right or wrong about his mother. That argument will only push him to defend her more. Instead, change the focus to how his actions make you feel and what you need from your marriage. Also, stop over-sacrificing for his family while neglecting yourself. Keep your kindness, but create healthy boundaries. A peaceful marriage is not about choosing between wife and parents, it is about knowing how to balance both.
Stop financing them including your husband. Use that money to do things you like hobby classes, going to different charitable houses like orphanages or old-age homes or similar and help them, go for solo trips, get yourself expensive jewellery etc etc. but never bring a child to this world. Your trauma will increase
Can he also post here about your mom.daughter relationship so that we can let you know what to do accordingly .
What's new in this dear , haven't we all sailed in d same boat .. mine was 57 n tht time she was old n helpless . Imagine what happens when she's 85 now
If u don't mess with his mom there will be no fuss.Stay away by being silent when she is around.
You don't have to get affected by others behaviour and what they say until it is damaging you. Few things are not in our control. Let your MIL live in bubble. That's her way of living. You live your life the way you want. For healthier family bonding love, respect, kindness is very imp. Don't have to neglect yourself. I have a guidance platform WWW.STEER-U.COM where we provide future predictions and psychological services. For any specific question of yours, use this link plz …. https://www.steer-u.com/future-prediction/customizedQuestion
Don't be jealous about his affection to his mother. Mother is different and wife is different. Get over your inferiority complex. Love and affection needs to be earned, not demanded.
You have to learn how to balance between your mil and your husband then both of you will be happy
This is good that you have understood he will not change. Which actually is very true. 90% true. This makes it easier for you to plan and handle all by yourself. Now comes the point where you have to develop strategies to maintain your peace of mind. Do you people stay with your in-laws? Things of your mil that trigger you, don’t discuss them with your husband. Don’t involve your husband to solve problems related to mil. Find your own solutions for them. Have a close trusted friend for venting out. Even if discussion starts due to whatever reasons, keep it only till nodding/yes/no. Remember, No explanations of any kind. Accept your husband’s incapability in this situation. If he’s otherwise good, handle the situation independently. That’s the only solution. Actually frankly, mama’s boys are the kind of husband material that should be avoided for marriages.
Whatever it is males always prioritize their mother. This we have to keep in mind and move accordingly. We should not ask them who will you prioritize? It's a silly question, but living with MIL is extremely difficult.
I wonder if you'd say the same thing if it was your brother who was taking care of your mom and his wife complained like you are doing!
He is doing the right thing. There is nothing bigger than mother in this world. Proud of the guy
So would not Yiu defend ur mother if your husband or if your brother's wife did the same ?if you have so much of problems with him then divorce him . He can stay with his mom and he will pay you up alimony.. you got your independence and his mom has got her son
Many high profile ladies are not able to just message, they are here with real ID. Unable to send messages due to fear of privacy. I keep n protect your privacy.. Mostly these are lady who are in high-ranking jobs, businesses women and their husbands are posted somewhere else. Those looking for something Interested lady ping me... looking for real secret friendship and relationship just come friendship with benifit come ...
You look after your parents and let him look after his. Dont complain about her. Just do bare minimum.
Yes in few communities, it's true
Looks like a happy family and you have hard time with them being happy.. Get a divorce without alimony, they deserve better
STOP taking financial responsibility of him &/ his parents. Pay ONLY for your own expenses(rent+utility bills+food). I repeat pay ONLY your own share. That too depending on living arrangements and who is doing how much chores.
Comments for Post #C27837
Submit Confession