Comments for Post #C27835

No red flag here. He's just being practical. Men and women don't think the same. He likely didn't realize he was supposed to pay for what you bought. We assume they'll understand without us saying anything. They won't. So say it out loud. It's just been 5 months. Give your relationship some time to grow. Next time there's a difference in opinions, work out a middle ground instead.

My Money is my Money , His Money is our Money 💰

He is saving for families future. You also earn good why do you have to be like that its not a red flag. Many women want to be independent spend there own money. When you get married its about being we not me. You both have to understand that.

A lady can make any guy a millionaire, if he's a billionaire... You are a perfect example for that

Scenario is simple. If he's not spending on you don't spend on him as well. Since you do for him , it doesn't mean he has to do for you. It's upto you to do it or to leave it. Love and other stuffs are different from this. Dont mix both.

Same here , but i am happy with that, but obviously he has gifted me at times whenever feasible for him , may be after 2 to 3 years but obviously gold items 😊 Whenever there is marriage on my side, i pay for the gift and whenever his side, he pays for it. Its normal. He pays for my medical expenses if I need at times but i refund him the amount whenever feasible to me. If he doesn’t ask for your money, why should you ask for his? You earn yourself enjoy your income.

If he doesn't buy gifts for you or your family, you also stop buying gifts for him & his family. Nuclear family expenses shouldn't be divided 50-50. They should be divided depending on who is doing how much chores+mental load of running home.

Basically it's 1 cr + ... Suddenly feminism disappears :) keep it up.. it will help many more women to realise

U want him to finish off his savings atonce 😐

Men think differently, he thought u r an independent woman, who can manage everything on her own, that's why he didn't ask you if you want to buy clothes, no you have asked I'm sure he will buy now onwards, "don't make a hill out of a mole"

Moreover, u might not like what he buys for u…as most wives find their spouse’s choice awful despite themselves being one

Lol u married a i.t employee what if he suddenly loses his job then what

Maybe he is banking as he is seeing too many divorce cases and how a woman fetch money out of divorce...sit and talk to him and gain his trust only then he will be ready to do things

Most of the men does not know to get a gift . Both of u should go together and do shopping whenever he is on land . U should plan along with him to invest . It is not at all red flag . Don't worry

If husband and wife wants to have a long term relationship they should have a common bank account where they deposit all their income and jointly sit and discuss what to spend, how to spend and where to spend and how much to save based on their goals. Couples who say it's my money / your money means they both are unsecured and not sure about how long the relationship will last!!!

This is every man's problem, help him with your expectations he will definitely meet We men are raised differently then women, in one word for us emotions are different then what it is for you

Now that you have spoken to him there will be improvement.... Men's 🧠 wiring is not the same as women's.. So dont expect them to be the filmy/serial style men.... Anyway... 1cr+ is the wealth he saved without being lavish... Now you want to buy car/house which will deplete it by more than 70-80%... Not a chance dear... He is the most sensible here

He is operating under the assumption that you are a capable strong empowered independent feminist who doesn't need any man to pay for her stuff. Please don't discuss, seek advise from your gym trainer, swimming instructor, or guy best friends or male peers at the office; they will make you feel as though he is the most insensitive, uncaring, selfish, unemotional, unappreciative, cold guy on earth and that you are the sweetest, softest, kindest, best woman in the world, and he doesn't deserve you. In the end they will offer emotional support, a shoulder to cry on, someone to lean on, and something to hold on to; whilst still making you feel like the victim. 😁 Not all people who earn well, are into exuberance. Some are financially wise and plan for the future. Instead of seeking external validation, talk to him. He will surely understand. Don't assume, presume, misconstrue his intentions, without context and come to conclusions. Communicate everything freely with him, I'm certain everything will be fine.

Only issue I see is in you. Its just 5monts and you already expect him to buy flats and cars. Cmon! And what is the point of earning if you cant be indipendent ? And that about spending on gifts on his side, rather tell you can buy for your side and he can for his.

Comments by men 🤥 You are absolutely right in feeling this. Women look for romantic gestures in the early years of marriage. Most husbands in arrange marriages are incapable of that, unfortunately! Stop buying him clothes, and stop buying his family gifts. Also, 50-50 happens based on the total salary percentage, not on the product that you are buying. If your salary is 1 lakh per month, you will contribute 50K towards monthly expenses. If he earns 1.5 lakhs a month, he will contribute 75K towards monthly expenses. Yours rest 50K will be in your savings account, his rest 75K will be in his savings account. So please be smart about your financials.

I believe you are a red flag. You're thinking too much.. you don't have a topic to fight with him so you make a big deal out of it. I guess you are missing attention from his side so trying to attract one. You are self dependent. Chill Karo.. mast bhaar jaah ke khud ko treat do.. you have a nice husband.

No red flag in this, men and women thinking is totally different if he says you should have asked me in that he is not disrespecting you. Solution- you need make him understand your point of view slowly and gradually You also need to accept not every expectation gets full filled Do not let come money in between your love if you see love in money, flat, car then this is endless cycle you cant be happy even after getting it.

Why shud he pay for u? what money u spend for him

Stop buy anything for him from today and try to reduce your shopping and focus on your personal savings. As for giving gifts, give cheap gifts to his relatives or stop giving at all.

He has 1 Crore + ,after read this.. I started to search for word i have savings of …./- never found !!

I thought the whole equality, feminism fight was about this thing only. Respecting enough to not getting in between choices.

5 months of marriage. Bro is playing safe 😂😂

You are too kind and he is too selfish . In a marriage dynamic if he does not 'invest' on you, he will soon start treating you worthless no matter how much you earn and support him. 'Low maintenance ' is an anomaly.

Well men are not as emotional or sensitive as women are and your husband is no exception!!Now a days Men are not provider and women are not nurturer...women have to do both the roles of provider and nurturer for themselves ..Better to be clear about both of your and your husband's expectations from each other, as you are just five months into the marriage, so that there will not be any Misunderstanding related to this matter in future

Stop buying for him and his family. You enjoy shopping, so please enjoy spending money for it too. Also, men don't take gifting seriously. According to them they can buy you a dress or say chocolate or anything on any day you say you need one, then why specifically buy one on birthday or anniversary only?

Paying for yourself is what all adults and employed people do. If you are expecting him to pay then you are definitely following the patriarchal mindset that a man is the provider. If it's only the small gifts and gestures you are expecting then you can communicate to him. Discuss about future goals and investments that include both your incomes, buying a flat and car is a joint decision and the financial dynamic takes over a year post marriage to settle. Give him time and don't drop hints if you want something, communicate clearly.

Stop spluring on him or his family or on relatives. Save each rupee,you dont have to buy stuff for him and expect him to reciprocate. You dont have to brig up the topic of mobey car house or anything else at all. Donot plan a family until financial matters get resolved. As of now just stay focused on your job instead of dreaming a romantic future. Let him save his money anf buy gifts for his family, why do you volunteer to pool your resources. Keep the books separate at all costs.

If you really to know if your husband loves and takes care of finances, stay out of your father house and live in a rented house. You will know his perception. Staying in father house and earning on your own, will make him feel you have everything.

Be honest, Do you even know on top of your head how many pairs of footwear or how many dresses you have? He claims he has saved about a crore, you are 31 yr old, how much savings do you have? ‘I love shopping’ says every single stupid woman all the time, And you want him to throw away his investments or savings into ‘a new car, a new flat’? And because he doesn’t throw away his money he is a red flag? 🚩

But everyone should be self indepedent. Why do you want to be depedant on him for everything. you earn well, buy yourself things and happiness unless you want him to be your sugar daddy cos I am one. connect with me for that life

Don't you earn enough for your expenses? Regarding gifts, it's in person's nature to shower with gifts or only spend for genuine needs. This doesn't mean he doesn't love you. And yes, he has those savings only because he spent cautiously. If he would have spent as you want him to then he also would have had minimal bank balance. Let him be as he is. Spend as you want. If he doesn't spend back on you, you also stop buying for him if it disturbs you.

If you are working then why don't you want to spend? What you will do with the money then? Feminism 🤡

Your bills you will only have to pay, if you work and he still has to give you, then what's the point of your job? Go with him onsite and leave your job then 🤷 some women never learn to be adult 🙄

For centuries or millennials men were providing for such huge joint families and never complained. Mere 75 years of beminism, so much hue and cry. Better be home maker again

GROW UP, kiddo!

You expect love with a distance relationship? You are just 5 months old relation and not even matured. Your expectations are really wrong. It takes years to get good understanding