**Need Genuine Advice – I Love My Fiancée, But Her Past Is Destroying My Peace of Mind** I'm 26, and my fiancée is 21. We got engaged about 2½ years ago through an arranged setup. Our families know each other, we belong to the same caste, and we live in the same society. Before getting engaged, I liked her because she seemed simple, family-oriented, and exactly the kind of person I wanted to marry. Over the last 2½ years, we've had our share of fights and misunderstandings, but we've always stayed together. We became emotionally attached, and recently, with both families' permission, we even spent a day together and became physically close with mutual consent. A few days ago, she had a serious fight with her cousin, who knows everything about her past. She became scared that her cousin might tell me first, so she decided to tell me herself. She confessed that before our engagement, while she was in 10th standard, she had an 8-month relationship with a boy from her school. She said they went on one pizza date, and once she visited his house, where they hugged and kissed for about 5–10 minutes. She swears on God and her parents that they never had s*x or went beyond that. Her parents only know she had a relationship, not about the kissing. The problem is that I have never been in any relationship. I always believed my future wife would also have no past, especially because we come from a rural village where relationships before marriage are very uncommon and socially frowned upon. Since hearing this, I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking questions: * What if she's hiding something? * What if they had s*x and she's lying? * Am I overthinking, or is this a valid concern? I know this happened before we met, and I don't want to punish her for her past. I also don't want to break this relationship because I genuinely love her. But my mind won't stop replaying everything she told me. I've even started connecting unrelated things, like the fact that she didn't bleed when we were physically intimate, even though I know that's not proof of anything. My brain just keeps creating doubts. The strange part is that I didn't even cry when my father passed away. But this situation has left me crying, anxious, unable to sleep, and emotionally exhausted. I don't want to leave her. I want to move forward. But I'm scared that every time I hug, kiss, or hold her hand in the future, these thoughts will come back. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you overcome these thoughts? Is this normal retroactive jealousy and overthinking, or is my mind trying to tell me something? I would really appreciate honest advice.
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Don’t Ruin her life .. it’s going to be in ur mind and haunt you And by the by why you had sex with her before marriage ?? Is it common in village after engagement you can take a shot ??
Little one... Your fears are justified... But question you need to ask yourself... What if the worst comes to light... If she's hiding anymore skeletons in the closet... Will you stay with her after those come out... If the answer is "Yes you will" then go ahead with the marriage... If it's No then move back... See accepting someone's past is completely your decision...If you're feeling doubtful... do a background search... If she has nothing else to hide... then that shouldn't be a problem.... But advice is... Don't listen to anyone... I repeat anyone... Cause you'll be spending your life with this person... So unless you have undying loyalty and faith... Move back cause in the initial days it'll be all flowers and peaces... Then it'll become like a prison sentence... Then you'll end up messing both of your lives... Choose wisely which path to take... God Bless You 👍🏻
Bro u shud leave her, one can never be happy in a suspicious relationship... Dont destroy her life.. But now u will also have a past and will be judged by other girls for same reason, and u will explain them "its past, how does it matter"...and this time dont get engage to a teen but someone near ur age... 👍🏼
She kissed a guy when she was in class 10. If that one incident is bothering you this much, it's better not to take things forward. A relationship runs on trust. If you can't trust her, don't ruin both her life and yours. Because once doubt creeps in, it never ends.
To all those idiots asking him to grow up, please pipe down. His problem requires more context. Did she hide this when they had a discussion about their pasts? If she did, then how does he know if what she's saying now is true? Did she have sex? Did she have other relationships? Was she intimate with them? What about the guys in her life now? Did any of them try? The mind can spiral into a very dark place once trust gets broken. Why did she hide it if it was nothing? What else has she hidden? What else will come out in the future? Most girls don't realize this, if they were upfront about their past, most guys would respect that. Trying to hide it is where trust breaks. And in this regard, which is the core foundation of love and exclusivity and significance, once trust breaks it goes into a dark place
Consult her cousin
Bhai Teri isi mein halat kharab ho gyi. System hang ho gya. Unka soch jinko ek dam se 5-6 relationships ka pata lgta hai...that too with physical intimacy... multiple times over the years. Anyways. Without trust, there is no relationship. It's an integral part. So, be a detective. Dig more about her past. Gather as much as Information. Move with marriage only when you are 100% sure. Keep no doubts.
I don't think you will have a peaceful life with her..... just by knowing that she hugged and kissed a boy, you are very much disturbed.....if it's beyond that and you will come to know after marriage, you really can't tolerate it. Just because you know her and families are known to each other, don't marry....it's you who is living your whole life with her. Marry a person who you feel good and genuine. Mental peace can't be compromised...take a decision that gives peace of mind.
My Condolences bruv Get married and one day her past will unfold more stuff, you will hear she went with the flow but she didn't want to. Now as you already got intimate with her if you try to leave her now you will only suffer as your confession clearly shows you are already emotionally attached to her and if you try and leave, voila depression is ready to enter your life
She was very young and not mature enough, please forget it. Just forget her past and trust her present. Everything will be fine, if you can't forget then no point marrying her. You can't keep her happy and even you will not be happy. Be broad minded and forget and don't dig about her past which happened when she was in 10th.
Thoda time doh, ekk mahine dur raho, sab thik ho jayega....thoughts ki speed pe lagaam khudbkhud lagega....itni jaldi mei sab kuch pacha lena shehad aur dimag dono ke liye hanikarak hei, samjho.
10th m thi wo bhai. 10 sal purani baat h
Bhai kya pata junior school pe sayad uss k flames pe kisi k sat M aya ho to, fir to wo kafi bara issue ho jaayega
upar upar se to kia he hoga 😅🤭 just kidding.. isse kya he farAk pdta hai
School relationships don't count bro. Don't be childish
Bhai pehle bada hoja. Shaadi baad me kariyo
Bhai ajj k time mai sirf kiss hi kii hai to bahut naseeb wale ho infact gr sex v hua hoga 1 time fhir v naseeb hi wale ho.....idhr toh sochta hu fata mile tb bhi dikkat nhi par loyal mil jaye bas 😭
Bhai katlo.... Jab tak hai Jaan
bhai bhaag ja 2 month ke baad pata lagega aur 2 ke baare mein.. never marry a girl with past
Ky frk padta hai past tha uska
Have you heard the term 'trickle truth'? If there is a doubt, take a pause and then decide
Arey gannnndu, aaj tak sexxx nahi kiya, koi relationship me nahi ... Looser 😂😂
What will u do in the worst case scenario? Are you worried about that happend or not.... Or the fact she hides it?.. if the second case then confrontation might help
If she says nothing happened, you should definitely be cautious. Something definitely happened. Break it off.
My condolences with you, bro But But But... Yeh Nibba-Nibbi Wali Mindset Ko Kya Hi Bolu.. In the current affairs, she never fool you, bro be happy with this fact... Each and Everyone has own past, so don't be judgemental..
Past cannot be corrected. Just see if she is good with you in the present. If yes, enjoy your life with her
Also ask her cousin properly
run
So she had an engagement when she was 18? That's pretty young to be running away with another guy in a few years. You are taking your life too seriously which doesn't have a guarantee in itself.
It's a very small thing. Why are you so worried, I don't know. 2.5 years also not enough for you to know about her. Why there is this much time after engagement. Leave everything and think about marriage dates. Why your both families are doing this much lag for marriage?
Seriously? In class 10 th ???? God , grow up
What a closed minded shit is this 😃looks like you are from the 60s
So what if she had sex? Get a life you idiot
Lol randi ko bahar nikalo , she deliberately didn't tell you.
If this is your attitude.. Then please dont marry anyone and spoil their life..
Dude. U first ask ur mom and dad. if she / he kissed someone as a child before marriage, then u better leave her search a new mom for yourself.
Go to a pr0stitute and have some fun, then marry her. She wouldn't mind u sleeping around so you can make it equal
DUDE. U WILL NIT HAVE PEACEFUL LIFE WITH ANYONE. Marry a tree.
Bro grow up!
Abe chomu. She was on 10th standard. She was 15. By the way why are you engaged to a 21 yo? Find someone in your age band.
Get her medically examined or shut your brain forever
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