Hello All, 28 Male, The issue is with my wife 27. We have a baby boy who is 9 months. Once she went to her parents house after the baby shower (been more than a year) she is refusing to come back to our house. She is saying that I should move near to her parents house as she doesn’t want to live in our home with our parents because she thinks that my parents are toxic. Her complaint is that my father drinks regularly. She is saying that she doesn’t want our baby to live in such household while the hypocrisy is her father also drinks but not as often as my father. If the issue was with just my parents then i can think of relocating somewhere else but she specifically wants the relocation to somewhere near her parents. Also every time we speak on call or in person she records everything irrespective of what we speak (right from being physical and our personal). When asked why she is saying that she doesn’t trust me. This issue has been going on for more than 6 months. Even if i relocate I strongly feel like there wouldn’t be a peaceful life for either of us and especially for the baby. Considering all these i have sent her the divorce notice. For that she didn’t respond anything but called collector office helpline number to request that she wants live just with me. I feel like she could go to any extreme for her parents (she wouldn’t even hesitate to poison me if her parents said so). When people from the collector office called I clearly told my decision and they agreed. After that when we asked through a common relative regarding the answer for divorce notice, she is saying that she wouldn’t give mutual divorce as she won’t let me live peacefully at all. She is saying that I should take care of her every expenses (she is well qualified to work but she refuses/doesn’t want to work) but whenever we argue she will ask me to not even touch the baby saying that she is qualified enough to take care of the baby and the baby doesn’t need me nu. I’m here asking for genuine suggestions on how to make her agree for divorce! I’m willing to do anything for the baby BUT DEFINITELY NOT FOR HER. She doesn’t deserve it.
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All women want to live near their parents place once they have a child , the parents help to take care of the infant whereas the in laws only create problems . It’s not a big deal to move near her parents place , if a woman can leave her family after marriage , so can the man . Both have aging parents and if one of the parents can live without their child , so can the other set of parents too .
Look Bro, If your Wife has a good character, then don't go for divorce. You can relocate near her parents but not at their house. Your wife, hopefully, will come back to you, but you guys will need support of her parents for the baby. Also, once you guys get back together, hopefully you can resolve things amicably and continue to stay together. A baby needs both parents and you guys don't have any large issues I think.
Why have her parents become so toxic? Don't they tell her anything? It feels like she's being controlled by them. But give it some time and see. Nowadays, going through a divorce with a baby is like hell. I hope both of you understand each other and get back together with goodwill.
I usually wouldn't even suggest asking for advice on this confessions page. I have been following this group for a long time, and I have noticed that whenever a man asks for help, people tend to automatically blame him—even when he is not in the wrong. I am not sure how long you have been married, but it’s becoming all too common for men to face this kind of pressure using a child as leverage, making divorce and alimony as difficult as possible. If your gut feeling tells you something is wrong, trust yourself and do what’s best for you. Just keep in mind that with a child involved, it could be a long legal battle with a lot of settlements. You are only 28 and have your whole life ahead of you. Your mental peace is what matters most—if that’s being destroyed, then take the legal steps you need to. Her threat to ruin your life shows she doesn’t care about you, despite what commenters here might say. Her father’s drinking isn't a valid reason to push you out either. If you do decide to stay together purely for your child, moving to a new city together might be the only way to get a fresh start. One last piece of advice: take a look at the last 10 confessions and the responses on this page. You will quickly realize it’s not worth asking for advice here.
My suggestion to you. Stop calling your wife. Engage with any of your friends for parties. Avoid picking your wife calls. Try this for next 3 months, she will run to your home as fast as train if she don’t have any other relation.
She can live with your toxic parents and you cannot live near her toxic parents..why so?? Why is she uncomfortable at ur house..have you ever supported her..think why she has taken this decision???
May God help you... You have a baby so Court will definitely grant interim maintenance to her. She also records everything. You might have said something in past which can be used against you in the court. She will also try to file domestic violence case against you. All you need to do is collect proofs in your favour.
Men ego deserves gutter. Your father is bewda if he consumes alcohol daily.
Your father consumes alcohol daily 🤔 what hypocrisy should i think of if the other person is just an occasional drinker 🤷🏻♂️... Very ímbëcil1ç logic.... Your father is alcoholic... And its a very valid reason..... Anyway.... Since we dont know about her part of the story... Try relocating... See if this situation changes... If not then start recording her calls... Consult a lawyer
These are not the grounds for a divorce and you guys have a tiny baby. She is expressing her discomfort to live with your parents like you are experiencing your discomfort to live with her parents saying that they could poison you and all..Are you looking into her feelings? What is there in relocating near her parents house? Its your ego that is making those excuses. You have a son now so please be a good father for the sake of your son..If she is wanting to be a full time mother in a seperate house close to her parents so what is wrong in supporting the home with both of you together with your little boy as a happy family and a maid to help her out just incase she needs someone. Please be wise and think wisely. Dont jeopardise your family life for your ego. Please be good to your wife and your son as they are your future now.
Better, you can select a living together to another one... But you need to sent her regular divorce notices.. If she go for court cases... You can lag it to minimum 20 years 🤣
Get a house nearby to her parents, but take a written confirmation that after baby is around 5 years she also will work and she contributes to the family expense too. Please hire a maid for all house work. Go on vacation together all will change. Also while taking written confirmation make sure u mention you will spend on your parents more than what u are spending now just because her parents wanted u to live near their house. Just in case because in future she will question why u are spending on your parents. She also gets what she wants and your parents can have thier life.
You want to go for a divorce but she doesn't, clearly shows she is still interested in you, In spite of your parents being toxic to her (she stayed in the same family with you all), you are on the contrary not interested in continuing the marriage because she said to relocate near her parents house .I don't know her side of the story, have you never been toxic to her, or taken her side when your parents were being toxic to her?? Did she feel respected in your presence when she was staying with your family ?? Divorce is never a solution to the familial problems. Are you sure if she is staying with your family, she will get the same amount of rest and respect while taking care of the baby?? To take care of a baby a woman needs the support of the elders..that's why she is asking you to stay near her parents house not because she doesn't want to stay with your parents, but she knows maybe she will be more comfortable staying near her parents house, getting more rest and sleep that her body deserves. Please don't break your family. Take some time. You relocate near her parents house as the baby is very small. Once he is 2.5_3 years old, then ask her to move to a location near your family. Meanwhile take your baby to visit your parents too. Try to protect the family you created, don't let any of the parents be the reason for your divorce.
Start sending gifts and money for other expenses for the child so that if she fake files cases in future like maintenance, dowry, or domestic violence you can show in family court that you cared about your child. Give her money too, even if she denies it, pay online, keep the receipt and evidence for everything. Start reading the laws. And send her another notice mentioning either come back, live at a neutral place or give divorce. Consult a lawyer too
DM me bro
You can live near her parents home as the baby can be better taken care and the mother will feel more at home in the early stages of the baby s' growth. You mentioned that your father drinks often so definitely that's a valid issue. If all is fine with your wife then no need to push divorce it will only ruin both of your lives. Just make sure that she develops a cordial bond with your family and later things get sorted. Lucky you that she has not threatened to file dowry domestic violence harrassment cases and making your life hell thru legal means which is so common in urban marriages nowadays.
hire a good lawyer and make sure she pays off for her mistakes...if she demands she wants to live separately then it is fine why is she keen on living near her parents...simple tell her if she wants to live with u then she has to come to place were u go and not as per her choice but u shud properly reason her for it...dont come down from ur stance on this if she thinks she can spoil ur life then u can do the same too...just make sure u dont give any money for divorce as she is the one refusing to live with u...just hire a good lawyer who can take care of this situation. but u need to live sperately away from ur parents which is only way out for this...at the same time u dont need to go near her parents house...if she has a demand then u can also have urs nothing wrong.
I don't understand how just 1 year ago you both actually had S.E.X 🤦🤦🤦🤦
Men and women should discuss and agree upon 1. Living arrangements 2. Expenses 3. Chores 4. Child rearing 5. Parents , in-laws elder care arrangements BEFORE getting married or atleast BEFORE producing kids. They waste so much time, money & efforts on few days function. But (looks like) they NEVER discuss about future co-living...
Start recording her calls .consult a good divorce lawyer .
Women after Delivery may have depression this may be the reason your wife wants to be near her parents.It is your duty to care of the Mother and your baby boy during those hectic periods. Instead you make war with her asking for divorce. Consult with your doctor helps you to understand your wife .please try sir to be a good head of the family
Law for Womens , L*wda for Mens in India
So simple, you are at wrong place, if you need divorce. Just consult a lawyer , even third rate, he will give you so many options - even he may conspire and force you to divorce, for the sake of his fees (I mean your work is that easy, just get hold of one).
Thani kudithinam poga varuvaga ona vaala because I'm also facing same issues I expect my husband to do it for me when he refuses I'm also doing same like ur wife only ... Peace matters I'm aslo in the mind set of giving divorce to my husband if he forces me to stay with his sister's and parents as joint family
Either go to your in-laws house and let them take care of you or find a separate house close to your office or location of your choice.. It all starts with one demand take house near my parents house and eventually she make your parents go away or eat up all your time so that your don’t get to your parents..
Just settle for an alimony under 2 lakhs/month
No need to file divorce.. stay away enjoy life You can connect with save indian family foundation
Kalyanam sountha kasula suniyam vechukarathu. Odavum mudiyathu oliyavum mudiyathu life long oc la kasu kuduthu tha aganum. Kolanthaya appa kannula kattama ye kolantha perla panam pudunguvanga 2,3 fake case pottu viitu maintanence vangitu avanga jollya lifea enjoy pannuvanga(women). Family oda court case ku selavu pannitu monthly maintenanceum kuduthutu kolanthaya kannula kuda pakama naraga valkaya anubavikarathu tha men.
In simple words, if you truly cared about ur wife . She wouldnt take anyone elses advise including her parents. Some men in india dont see the faiult in their parents but in the wifes parents. If u were really a good person you could give her time rather than serving divorce to a new mother. Rather fix ur family than hers. Looking at only ur side of the story from u and not her side of story , you look wrong as hell
If sm1 is consuming alcohol in a space that has child in it or actually at home that has limited space to do it privately, Sorry… its not a safe space. As a father, u shud have ensured this criteria is met. With this egos-tic behaviour, u guys wud definitely ruin a child’s childhood! Well u guys alrdy have! Anyways.. neenga solra cases lam pudhusilla. 90% divorce cases ipdi dha poitu iruku. Poi line le nillunga.. vera vazhi illa. Restitution of conjugal rights notice legal ah first anupanu nu ungalku divorce file panna lawyer sollalaya? Jus to document, before she did, that u gave if a fair try? File contested divorce n wait for life time for it to settle… ipdi onnuthukum prayojana padadha ego thookitu namma life um dhana sendhu spoil agudhu nu arivu kuda illama idha panra aalungalku purila… they r digging their own grave. Court vasal yeri yeri yerangina veruthu poi onnu divorce kudutrvanga illa neenga vittu kudupeenga… idhu mattum dha practical solution.
All I can say Is upay expenses and let the kid be with her after divorce....the case will anyways go against u....get urself free as soon as possible Let her take care of the child .....her karma will come back to her
Don't accept her demand to live near her parents home if u feel life won't peaceful with her ...coz once u accept one unreasonable thing ...more such things will come .ur stance to live near ur parents house is reasonable .meantime ask ur father to stop drinking . Most likely she will b having backing of her parents and will use ur son to break u emotionally , mentally and legally .. (like not letting u meet , not letting u touch him etc etc )) .. if u feel things might settle amicable with help of mediators ( relatives etc )) , go for it since u have son. If u feel divorce is only solution , in this country men don't have much rights in legal cases ..she may file all those false criminal cases ( dowry , dv ,376 etc ) against u and ur family .. The best strategy for is to keep quiet .. keep sending some money / gifts etc for ur son . Let some legal action be initiated by her and fight those cases on merit if divorce is only solution .Don't intiate any legal action from ur side .. Don't give up rights on ur son ..she mostly likely will want this ..all d best . The bottom line is -- u can't agree her for divorce if she doens't want to ..but she can take divorce from u if she wants and u can't do much . The laws are like that ..
Source: National Judicial Academy https://share.google/sRflL9XUVzzbmsxrs Please see this ..many High Courts have implemented this in their states ..please follow this & take legal advice ... I am also in the same situation https://share.google/sRflL9XUVzzbmsxrs
Do not divorce Find a place wherever she likes to N live in there As a sincere couple I confirm Both are good If still.any proof Visit me Ottumn* Peace Solution maker +9197790_92230
Bro leave the baby leave the mother do your job earn and chill out. She will understand and return at some time. That time you f*ck her hard enough than she never do such things again.
How could you send a divorce paper when you have a baby. You can leave ur baby for your parents. What a man.
No, you don’t deserve her, baby and anything
R*nda crying for his alcoholic r*nda parents who are nothing but toxic and abusive towards the wife. You just lost interest in her and you want to get rid of her. So don't give lawda maikilowday excuses like this, we're not stupid. You just don't want anything to do with ur wife and kid.
These kind of ladies easily get manipulate by thier parents, once child born they start all these dramas and will lead to courts with years of suffering finally they settle for mutual consent! You don't need to file divorce otherwise they will file whole package of domestic violence against you and your parents! Which nothing happen because women's laws got too weak by these kind of women's itself. Filing divorce also have plus point now they can't file cases on York family Court will say this is revenge cases after sending divorce notice! Now you prepare and collect evidence of everything
She is clearly asking to build a family with you and just you and you can’t even understand that! Why did you choose to have baby if you are not looking to build your own family.. you seem to have no idea of what woman goes through post childbirth either..
Just relocate to a place where there is neither of your families
Looks like what you really want is a divorce. You are not here looking for advice,you are looking for ways to get rid of your wife and your baby.
You did what!!!?? To the mother of your child and going through POSTPARTUM phase… So basically you screwed up when your wife is going through the most vulnerable phase of a Woman’s life!!! GROW UP KID!!!! She definitely deserves Better..
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