28F seeking honest perspectives. He's 28M. This is my first relationship and the first person I've ever loved. He's a doctor preparing for medical PG, so his life is extremely demanding and unpredictable. We met about a year ago and gradually became very close. From the beginning, we've both known that we don't have a conventional future together. That's not because he doesn't want one. It's because of personal circumstances on my side that have made me decide I don't want to marry anyone. He knows those reasons, has accepted them, and we've both made peace with the fact that "forever" isn't something we'll have. So I'm not waiting for a proposal or hoping he'll suddenly commit. My question isn't about why he won't marry me. Over the past year, he's told me that he wants me in his life, that I'm very important to him, and that if those practical constraints didn't exist, I would've been someone he could genuinely see a future with. We haven't built our relationship around physical intimacy. It's been an emotional connection more than anything else. The part I struggle with is our communication. Because of his profession and studies, there are periods when we don't talk for days. His schedule is unpredictable, so conversations usually happen when he's has the time. But when we do talk, he's warm, thoughtful, remembers little things about me, and makes me feel genuinely cared for. Then life gets busy again, and there's silence. I know my feelings are probably deeper than his, and I've accepted that. I don't think he's intentionally leading me on or using me. At the same time, I sometimes wonder whether I'm interpreting his words and actions too generously. So I'd like honest opinions: Can someone genuinely love or deeply care for another person, want them in their life, fully accept that there won't be a future together, and still have the relationship look like this? Or does that usually mean the feelings aren't as deep as I'm imagining? I'm not looking for people to blame him or tell me to "just move on." I'm trying to understand this kind of relationship from an outside perspective, especially from people who've experienced something similar.
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For your situation, I think you should accept him for who he is, just as he has accepted you. Since he's not expecting marriage or a future from you because of your reasons, I don't think it's fair to expect more time or emotional investment from him. Even though he says you're important, I wouldn't be surprised if he's intentionally holding back and plans to end it someday to marry someone. When that happens, you'll be the one left in a lot of pain. His feelings are definitely not as deep as you are imagining.
Being in a relationship with a doctor is really tough. Everyday chats and regular meet-ups become rare because of their hectic schedule. Silence is common. What he’s doing is normal for a doctor, and I can understand how hard this must be for you. It’s not that he isn’t emotionally attached to you — he just genuinely doesn’t have the time to show it on a daily basis. There are a few things you need to consider: First, you were the one who decided not to get married. He didn’t. Second, in the near future he will likely marry someone. And at that point, he may have to distance himself from you for his new life. Will you be able to handle that? So in the end, does it really matter how deep his feelings are, when you’ve already drawn the line?
You won't marry him then why are you not letting him go. Atleast he deserves a settled life with a woman that can commit to him for life. Set him free and you go enjoy your life.
If you have decided to NEVER marry, don't get into relationships. Keep distance from men in general (assuming you are heterosexual). Why create unnecessary complications?
Everyone marries when they meet the person who think she/he is the one. Until then there will be 100 reasons why they won’t. This is the one of those situations.
Didn’t you say you are the one who doesn’t want to get married ? Why would anyone blame him and why are you blaming that guy , it’s you who’s the problem not him . You don’t want him in your life , he does . So you need to ask yourself this .
Doctors are like that mostly
How many times this wil be posted 😳
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