Comments for Post #C27807

Am I wrong for choosing myself after thirteen years?

I don't know if I'm wrong for finally choosing myself, so I'm writing this here. I was in a relationship for 13 years. We met in college, and despite everything, I stayed loyal throughout. There was even a time when I was cheated by him one-time but I forgave because I believed love deserved another chance. For almost 12 years, my partner struggled financially. I stood by him through it all—emotionally, financially, and mentally. I never made him feel like he was fighting alone. I believed that one day things would get better, and we'd build a life together. But over the last two years, I started feeling emotionally exhausted. I needed time, support, understanding, and reassurance. Every time I expressed my feelings, there was always another reason or family problem by his side. I kept waiting, hoping that one day my needs would matter too. When marriage became part of the conversation, I thought things would finally change. Instead, whenever I asked practical questions about our future or finances, I was called selfish and verbally attacked, as if wanting clarity about our future was a crime. Now I keep asking myself: Was I really selfish? Or was I simply asking for the same love, effort, and emotional support that I had been giving for 13 years? I've spent so many years putting someone else's happiness before my own. Today, choosing myself feels painful because I've been made to believe that caring about my own needs is selfish. So I just want to ask the people reading this: Am I wrong for finally choosing myself after 13 years of waiting, forgiving, supporting, and hoping?