"Good evening everyone.... I'm 23f married two years ago.Now i have a 15month old daughter and 3months old son. I was in happy marriage till the day i found out that my husband cheated me. He bought a girl to the house where we loved and lived. He thought me as a fool and hid that from me. But I found it and I was depressed from that. He convinced me and told that he'll not repeat it. I believed him and gave him second chance . After that we lived together but he is repeating his mistake again in point of view. He searched about other girls and asking their contact details in social media where I was also able to see his comments. After the incident everything between us became an argument and fight. He blocked me from all the social media. I have to support to take care of my daughter while I'm pregnant with my second baby. As it was a high risk pregnancy I needed someone to be with me always throughout my second pregnancy. So I came to my parents house. There was no communication between us.He will not come to parents house for anything. His own guilt is stopping him to come to his own in-laws house.He never did anything financially or physically or mentally to me and the kids. My second child is preterm baby and he was in the NICU for 10days. The man i married never showed up to us .He have not seen our son for about one and half months. I only took my kids to his native there only he saw the child. Now he is asking me to come back to him that too on some grounded conditions like ....only I'm allowed to come and visit my parents once in a month . My kids should never come to my parents house . Me and my kids should be in his native with his parents and he'll be in his working place. Only I should take care of both the kids ... he'll not help me as he is earning for the family. Or else he'll divorce me. What should I do now ? My heart says 'U love him. You can change him. Don't leave him'. My mind says ' U don't deserve to be with this kind of a man and suffer. The suffering will affect your own kids too'. I really don't know what should I do now?"
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You can never be at peace with a person who deliberately makes mistakes. Choose one time pain and get a divorce, your life will become better with time. Do it for you and for sake of your children.
Choose the hard path, which is sacrificing him and the relationship with him, do not sacrifice yourself in the name of the kids. Don't make your kids regret this decision in the near future. Stay strong young women.
Don't divorce him stay with him and give him a lesson..at this situation it's difficult to divorce soo just stay with him to support yourself mentally and financiall..and then try to independent yourself so that you can leave him later
Better first conduct one meeting with their family and your family members then find the conclusion,what he really wants?
Please be calm and careful while in this situation. It's better to live with your parents for some time and take your decision after that
He is playing smart with you for his number of selfish reasons. Emotional manipulation....better to have open discussion in front of parents. You have to take discussion by keeping your emotions aside. I have a guidance platform WWW.STEER-U.COM where we provide future prediction and mental health services.
Either divorce or adjust .. simple...you need to understand your own conditions and decide
Don't go back because of promises alone. Judge him by his actions, not your hopes. He cheated, abandoned you when you needed him most, and is now setting controlling conditions instead of taking responsibility. That's not a healthy foundation for a marriage.
First help me understand, married 2 years ago which is 24 months ago and you already have 15 month old daughter and 4 months old son?
1. He neither loves you nor the kids. He doesn't want to create family with you and kids. He has NOT promised to change his behaviour. 2. Only thing he has agreed to is - to provide food+clothes+shelter to you and kids. --- a. Are you ok with that? You will have to live and raise children like a single mother with in-laws. Husband/father will NEVER be there for you and kids. If you are NOT ok with this arrangement then b. Can you raise your kids on your own with the help from your parents? Getting alimony+child support from him looks very difficult. You will have to fight a long court battle. If you can't then there is another third option which will look very selfish, unfathomable to many people, but it's BEST for you as an individual c. Give child custody to him. Let him and his parents raise them. You build your own life. You are just 23, you can do it. --- Whichever option you choose - NEVER EVER FORGET THE LESSON "loving a man' HAS TAUGHT YOU.
Within 24 mnth 15 mnth 3 mnth old kids
Divorce. Run away from him.
Try for 3-4 months max.. see if any positive changes. If not the sue him and get divorced. He gonna pay a good amount for kids.. Do remember- keep each n every evidence of whatever going around. Calls, messages, screenshot etc..
23 years, married in 21 and 2 babies within 2 years. He is a womaniser. Accept all his conditions. Bring everyone your parents and in-laws and anyone whom you and your husband are close to. Try finding the girl's contact from your husband, invite her too. Create some party or event at your in-laws or husband's place. Show everyone everything with a live example and explain his conditions upfront. Until you do all these, behave as if you have agreed to every single condition of your husband. Now, clearly say the crowd, you do not want your husband and register a police case. He will kneel down, if he really understands you. If he is still aggressive, throw him away. Make this event as proof. Ask for divorce with alimony and maintenance. Then he can enjoy the pain. Avan avanuku ponne kedaika maatenguthu 2 varushathula 2 pulla Athuvum Ponnum payyanum pethu kuduthiruka... Pombala sokku ketkuthu... Antha dash ku poranthavalgalum varanga paaru... Give him a clear warning (but not again in private) else sue him.
Leave him dear..he will never change .
Leave him
Get the records for his cheating file a divorce case get a good alimony. Ensure it is safe for you and your kids. Start exploring job opportunities. Don't ever regret leaving him.
Option one is better
Sue him
What will you do is upto you. Some practical points - Cheating as much as its unhealthy, its on a rise from both genders... so you seperate OR set boundries ( which has not been respected ) in future will it be respected? OR set practical boundries, such as ( if he is involved with someone, don't bring them home. Regular health check up, so that if you and him get involved physically your health is safe. ) OR open up tye marriage and both of yiu are open to get involved with others without guilt or hurt
How can you be so stupid
First talk with family tell about him if he not change I will move from him and kids, he will afraid.
Don't divorce him stay with him and give him a lesson..at this situation it's difficult to divorce soo just stay with him to support yourself mentally and financiall..and then try to independent yourself so that you can leave him later
Divorce
Divorce and take proper alimony to raise your kids ..collect proof of cheating ..screen shots of social media chats and everything..
Divorce
Take a divorce and take the alimony he should pay for the kids ..this guy is never going to learn ..enough chances are already given to him and after doing all this,he has the guts to set the terms and conditions for u ..just get rid of him from ur life by filing for divorce and u also have genuine reason
God , you’re a child yourself , you should’ve completed your studies and then got married and this man that you think you can change , that will never happen , he’s not your project so don’t make him as one , you’re his spouse not his mother . If you go back he would just make you pregnant again and you’d be stuck in this cycle forever. It’s better to sit with both the families and come to a conclusion and try and complete your studies , after your children grow up a bit as both a very young and you too are a child . You should’ve been in college right now , making your career and not taking care of children and Husband . How old is this man whom you call husband because if you’re a child he shouldn’t be very old either and he sounds very immature , the parents need to intervene.
Get a new Hus 😜
Once a cheater is always cheater.. get divorce and live peacefully with kids..
File divorce take hefty alimony and child support
Girl leave him..why can't your kids go to their grandparents'home who looked after them during an emergency? He will never change. He'll keep you at his native and isolate you even from your parents. And then he'll keep going to other women. Kids are the responsibility of both the parents and if he's denying he'll not look for their financial needs too in future. So please divorce him on the ground of adultery
Divorce
Leave
Time for some alimony as this case is justified, fake dowry with extra "if you are feeling the air" fake marital 🍇 case.
As I guy I will advise divorce him and claim for mental abuse even dowry as what he did and doing is wrong ahole like him deserve it .He will never change he will always have a side chick ,once you gone back he knows u will dump him
Gurl you can't change a man. That's bullshit bollywood has sold us. He obviously doesnt love you or the kids. You deserve so much better. Just divorce him and spare yourself the years of misery to otherwise follow..
Ask him to fuck off and live your life woman. What is the doubt here? Why can't u earn a living and take care of the kids.
Have some self respect, leave both kids to him n give him divorce then he will come begging ur feet with apologies
Just divorce his ass!!
Do his parents know that he is repeatedly cheating on you? Even after knowing his nature , how come you got pregnant with another child ?? Why is he giving you an ultimatum. Inform everything to his parents, and you should be the one who will be giving him the ultimatum. Honestly, he has got no interest in you, neither of the kids. He doesn't want to stick to this marriage and clearly he doesn't love you. Then why are you wasting your time on this loveless marriage. You are only 23. Just leave him, get a job ,raise your kids and someday you will get over this toxic relationship. I know it's hard leaving someone you love but love should be mutual. This husband of yours is never going to change. Trust me.
2 yrs 2 children's 🥴 seems like ur drunk too much go home.
he is not worth to live with...better divorce him and remarry again to a guy who is standing for u...have all evidence and make him pay the price for what he did...never go back to his place
He wants a servant maid without salary....no love nothing...go to court and handover your kids to him so that he becomes responsible and you go to work and then start a fresh life....if you keep kids, he will happily roam daily with new women...
I think he was already a characterless boy and so his parents got him married ,the Indian parents mentality , thinking that he would change when the wife comes but he’s just made you pregnant again and again and is just using you as a sex object rather than a wife .
Divorce him Cheating is unforgivable A cheater can never be a good father or husband
Put him in jail.
Divorce him
Learn a skill, find a job that take parents help file a divorce with child support till they complete their education and kick that idiot’s ass. As a sister telling you, you don’t deserve this and a man will never change. Please teach your children what is not ok in life and raise them well.
He cheated and he is putting conditions ? Wtf! Drag his ass to court and divorce him. Do not settle for bare minimum child support.
Instead of living with his parents at this young age and doing house hold .....get divorce...stay with your parents and go for work and take care with your kids....
Giving a 2nd chance to a cheater is the most stupid thing in this world.... Build your career sis and take care of your kids and also don't let your husband's Shadow to touch them.
Divorce, take alimony and maintenance, and live your own life with kids and parents. You tried, gave him a chance but he didn't change. So you can't change dogs like him. If you have a bit of self respect, come out. People like him deserve it.
Kick him, if ur parents is financially sound coz if u go there then he will repeat same thing again n again, if his parents have some reputation in society then he will surrender soon, send him legal notice for financial help for u nd ur kids. I think he is waste of time coz if he luv u n ur kids then he never say that he will not help u financially
No you can't change him....if you can't support yourself ...its best to make the matter of him cheating public to both your parents and his ...and then take a decision accordingly....he doesn't even love you ....he will clearly continue cheating ....and stop having kids with him...
Are you an idiot..a guy who cheated you and has an audacity to dictate terms and conditions of your stay.. and you think you can change him🤦He is a sociopath..no guy would never not see his kid in nicu even if he is angry with the wife.. nobody should end up with a guy like that..its your life.. if you want to ruin it it's your own choice.
Love? You love a cheater? Women please grow up You will regret of you go back to him after some time Get a divorce and get a job or go back to hell
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