My mother-in-law has made our lives miserable. We've done everything for her, yet every single month she comes up with a new reason to ask for money—often in lakhs. Now they want to build rooms on the third floor. When my husband told her, "Why are you spending unnecessarily?" she started crying. I honestly don't know what her problem is. She's draining my husband's life. She doesn't even see that he's developed anxiety because of the constant stress of earning money and meeting everyone's financial demands. My 36-year-old brother-in-law doesn't work at all. He has two children, and even their basic needs are being paid for by my husband. My husband has also taken responsibility for his sister's marriage. Because we live abroad, my mother-in-law seems to think we have a money tree. She has practically told my husband that he is responsible for his brother's family, as if he is their father. What she ignores is that we have two children of our own to raise abroad, where the cost of living is extremely high. Job layoffs are common, and there is constant financial uncertainty. Yet none of that seems to matter. It feels like some parents have children only to use them as ATMs for the rest of their lives. The unfair part is that she never expects her other son to earn or contribute. Instead, my husband is expected to take care of everything—not just basic necessities, but also their luxurious lifestyle. They expect expensive gold jewelry, a ₹20 lakh car, a large villa, and every possible comfort, despite already having good food, a comfortable home, and all the essentials. No matter how much is given, it never seems to be enough.
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You all need to set some clear boundaries, taking care of parents needs is ok but his brother’s family is not your husband’s responsibility. Ask him to clearly say a certain amount that he can send monthly and how he has a family of his own to take care of. If they nag and cry ask him to avoid answering calls for a while they themselves will come in to terms.
Your husband needs to speak up and set boundaries. The more he gives, the more they ask.
When ur good action isn't appreciated or seen ...give no damn n look after what matters for Ur happiness ...ppl have say, either ways but happiness n peace build within who matters most in life ...I have seen ppl, how much u give still they find reason to blame u so best way ...don't give more than necessary n start enjoying Ur life with happiness
Raising kids abroad won't cost money.
Story of every family that lives abroad and family back home think money is easy for us to earn and the day you say no you will see the true colors of the same people
Are you earning? Is he taking your self earned money and giving it to his mother & brother? If yes, then STOP giving your money to him immediately. Save for your own+children's future. If no, then you can't do much other than – showing him future projection of the expenses which he will have to borne (kids education, unexpected health issues, old age) and then pray to god that he understands and acts on it.
So much hate for mil and husband family not good 😊 u guys earning big that's why u r paying and can afford. If can't afford don't pay simple, why crib, or take divorce if not happy with family financial dynamics
The problem is yours not your mother in law . You guys should know how to set boundaries , what your mil and bil are completely unacceptable . If your husband dies with all the stress , will they take financial responsibility of you and your children ? This is a question that your husband needs to answer . If he is doing this out of love / obligation / fear whatever it is , this needs to stop , takers keep asking until givers stop
Except for mother and his sister's marriage,your husband should stop giving money to his 36 year old brother. His brother is a parasite. If he has not learnt to take care of his family at 36,he would never learn it.
tell him clearly to stop things at once as he has already done enough...if he is not going to stop tell him u wont live with him anymore...this is the only way out as he doesnt seem to think from ur point of view or about his own family...so be strict that is the only way out
Draw boundaries immediately. Or lie to them that your husband is laid off and you guys are doing menial jobs to make ends meet. At the same time start asking them for money every once in a while citing some emergency. They will themselves walk away.
What is your problem. If he is able to look after another family and his mother, so be it. It is not yours or your family finance he is expending. He himself would realise when and at point to stop funding them. Don't just add to his problems by your complaints.
What you are telling is completely fake and wrong. Don't tell fake story and ask for opinion
now reverse the condition and think on that angle in India people, relationship has value but females like u r housebreaker always
BLOCK MAAR
Even before I read I knew your husband would have been handling his useless brother in law aka sister’s husband! Tell your husband to stop being his sister’s surrogate husband. Are your kids going to get anything after MIL dies? Like the property your husband is paying for?! Nothing. Be better Parents for your kids. These people will not care for your kids
Instead of posting here fight with her everything will be alright or else keep paying
You need to explain to your husband that he isn't some money fountain that he can pay for anything and everything. And how come he is responsible for his brother who is a grown man!!! Tell his mother to tell his brother that if he has so many demand then earn by himself and satisfy those demands na!! Is he a beggar or what to ask for hand outs from his brother! Does he not have an ounce of self respect? Say it like this, use words like beggar, then see how his mom and brother react! And why is your husband responsible for his sister's wedding, that should be father and mother responsibility! If you cannot explain to him to stop getting emotionally blackmailed by his mother and that he needs to save money for your own children, then best thing is lie that he has lost his job! Then automatically demands will stop. Anyways you live abroad so they aren't going to come there physically and see that he isn't working right?
Husband needs to grow a pair of balls or keep paying like a spineless, walking ATM.
First of all , stop sponsoring your brother in laws family , you aren’t helping them but making him lazy and this is the reason he doesn’t work , because he’s getting free money , doing nothing . Stops the funds immediately, his family isn’t your responsibility, his family is his responsibility and his wife’s . Tell your mother in law about buying an extra home or car or putting in money for some funds or may be tell her that you’ve put your children in private schools since the government schools weren’t good and most of the salary is going there now . Cook up some story and stop the funding . You’d do him and his family a favour
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