Need genuine advice from married couples, especially women. Please don’t judge. My wife and I had a love marriage, and we’ve been married for 5 years. We truly love each other, trust each other completely, and there are no issues like cheating or dishonesty. That’s why this situation is confusing and painful for me. Before marriage, we were in a long-distance relationship. We were emotionally very close, enjoyed flirting, s******, and had a strong physical connection. Even during the first few years of marriage, our intimacy was deep and fulfilling. Things slowly changed over time. After she became pregnant, I completely understood that pregnancy and postpartum would affect her physically and emotionally. I never wanted to pressure her, so I gave her space and time. It’s now been almost 2½ years since childbirth, but nothing has really changed. The biggest issue isn’t just the lack of s**—it’s the lack of intimacy. Almost every time, I’m the one who initiates. If I don’t, nothing happens. When I do initiate, I often hear reasons like: * “I’m tired.” * “There was too much housework today.” * “I have to wake up early tomorrow.” * “Let’s sleep today.” I completely understand that these reasons can be genuine, and I never force her. But hearing them repeatedly has left me feeling unwanted and emotionally lonely. Ironically, when we do become intimate, we both enjoy it, and she reaches o***** too. But it happens only about once a week, and even that often feels like I have to keep asking or waiting for the right moment. I’ve spoken to her calmly about how I feel. She says she’s interested, but her actions don’t reflect that, and nothing has changed. I’m not someone who only wants s**. What I miss is the emotional closeness, passion, affection, and feeling desired by the person I love. Without that, married life sometimes feels emotionally empty, even though everything else between us is good. I’ve never been in any other relationship, and I don’t want anyone else. I just want to rebuild the connection we once had with my wife. So I have a genuine question for both married men and women: Is this a normal phase after marriage and childbirth, or is there something I’m missing? Women: Have you ever felt like this? What changed your interest in intimacy, and what helped you reconnect with your husband? Men: Have you gone through something similar? How did you handle it without hurting your relationship? I’m looking for honest advice, not criticism. I truly love my wife and want to strengthen our marriage, not give up on it.
Share your thoughts anonymously.
ℹ️ Your comment will be posted publicly on Facebook if it complies with our community guidelines.
Apart from hormonal imbalances, postpartum illness, and childcare... Consider these questions: Did you help her with household chores? Did you show her disrespect after the birth of your child? Are you helping her raise your child? During her postpartum stress, did you take her out (like for a cup of coffee or a visit to the temple)? Finally, were you aware of her sleep patterns during the first six months after the baby was born? When a woman is emotionally exhausted and feels unsafe or uncared for by her soulmate, her body automatically rejects physical intimacy. While her brain signals her to protect herself and pull away, asking her repeatedly causes her heart to relent, giving in simply because of the *husband" ID card. Please check and rebuild it by loving her again... After 6-8 months, she would be changed..because the brain needs time to accept the person.
You have to understand you are not a lover now..You are a father and a husband..and the child is not hers alone..it's yours too..Come out of the Fantasy world and face the reality..During pregnancy Woman suffers from hormonal changes..And expects her man to understand..And moreover physical intimacy is not everything in life..Love and relationship becomes mature with time..Every stage love evolves and more beautifully..Now be a responsible husband and father first..Support her during this phase by helping her raising the kid and understand the phase which she is going through..That's the real bond..
Becoming parents is a complete transformation. Your roles shift, your mind stays in 'caregiver mode', and exhaustion becomes normal. Hiring help, even for a few hours, can give you space to be a couple again. Do something you both love. Talk to her. Listen to her. Because emotional intimacy is often the bridge back to physical closeness for women.
Sounds like she is in survival mode Get checked It's a condition where the mind wants it but the body doesn't react to it And this coz by overload work stress could be a lot of reasons for it
Sorry to hear about your case . But few things are not in our hands. Libido of the person Hormonal changes in body of man women as they age , they feel tired 😫 Mentality of people like for some couple both or either one s** Is just for production of a child and then everything stops ✋️ While for others it's a life long intimacy process to be enjoyed if not main course due to lubrication issue as women reaches or about to reach her pause phase then atleast other non penetration love mating process till Grey days of life. You need to make your beloved sit down and ask whether she doesn't feel like enjoying. What's the reason ? What can be done about this how you feel when it doesn't happen express everything to her . Once a week is also ok if it happens 4 times of a month rather than just once or twice a month . . May be you have a higher libido compared to your spouse . But you can't force yourself. Always respect your spouse. If genuine talks doesn't go anywhere Get an appointment both of you with qualified expert sex counselor and chat with them frankly in same room rather than having separate meetings . Lastly after becoming parents the frequency goes down. May be because responsibility increases. Plan a solo you and your spouse trip once twice a year for 10 days to keep the s*** spark alive in marriage. Keeping child in granny place. I don't know whether yours was lov or arranged marriage if love then these things you could have easily talked with her before marriage. In arranged marriage set up its bit difficult the other person might think this guy is cheap and talks about sex before marriage happened. So it's bit tricky here except in case you meet same s*** thinking frequency partner that's bonus 😀. Still don't illtreat her out of s*** frustration she is your darling . Take good care of her , and if if nothing changes take it as your karmic fate and be happy enjoying that once a week mating romance with your babe wife . Enjoy life's journey Don't go in extra aa hh marital things . Everything is recorded by the universe Karma catches up with everyone at some point of life's journey.
1. Attar ya Deo (I mean Khushbu) lagaya karo ... 2. Gandi Halat se math raho 3. Saaf safai ka qayal rakho 4. Jism ki saari gandagi khatam karo Gandagi se karahat mehsoos hoti ... Khareeb aane wala bhi door bhagta.. Kabhi kabhi aurat khulke nahi bolti Samjh jane ki rehti ....
Taking care of a small child and the household is a tiring thing. She could be feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. You could lend a hand with some chores or hire help. Maybe she needs emotional support too. Show her that you're there for her, take her out on dates, do something different from regular married life, make life more exciting and things will change.
It’s normal. It’s called taking you for granted. Which is normal after having kids and in 30s. Life is changing to new chapters. But it’s dangerous when you let it be like this for long, most marriages never revive the magic back. Take smaller breaks, date nights, hire helpers, get her into self discipline and fitness.
Yes. Absolutely normal. But support her mentally, in home chores, handling baby. She needs it. And give her time.
We in India.. we have normalised this but it shouldn't. Your roles are not only limited to father and mother of your child. A couple's very existence is dependent upon intimacy. Keep an open mind. Create couple rituals, talk to her without any judgment or accusations, try to find out her thoughts. It would be helpful if you both see a couple therapist for a few weeks.
Indian men thought . Marriage = sec . And things happen just opposite
After childbirth women's role completely changes. Along with wife's role, she's has to take care of newborn.... kid's growth, household works everything becomes a challenge. Not all women face this. It depends on a woman's physical and emotional stress.Talk to her and make her understand your situation. Both of you give time to each other. Things will change slowly....but assure her of your presence in her regular chores....when you share work, she too feel relaxed....
These phases come in married life. Start with asexual touches, cuddling, hugging, random kisses. Even watching some erotic movies help. Give her time, till then work on your physique, on her physique. Take long drives, coffee, breakfast in corner resto. This will surely help and ignite her. Work on her mind, body will follow.
I think you genuinely wanted to know whether its normal or is there any problem so here is what i think its completely normal once you reach certain age and have lot ot responsibility to full fill then priorities changed and so you just need to accept new phase of life i m sure your wife also loves you lot but right now she wanted to give 100% to her child which is completely normal. I think that's shouldn't be the problem that everytime you initiate jo go for it make her feel special because she is already dealing a lot so take charge for this.
Raising a child and doing all the homework is a very hefty task. And most women feel exhausted doing these with a small baby. Generally babies constantly need something to keep them entertained. I feel you didn't notice the efforts which she is putting in raising your child. She may want your help and understanding in raising the child. Secondly, just like you have some expectations she too has some which might have not been fulfilled or any external problems might affect her because after pregnancy everything flips upside down. So, now both should talk to each other straight forward and try to come out with a solution instead of feeling like this.
Do something together that is physically challenging.Hike a trail, workout together ,build something together .Will take time ,it works.
Don't think too much...just you initiate, nothing wrong in it, but not everyday. Weekly twice. Slowly she will become normal. After finishing just hug her and talk to her.
Dude you cannot imagine how a childbirth impacts a women physically and mentally. Nothing comes to her mind than her child. And it’s not just ur wife but every women on earth. And this is not intentional it is biological . A mother’s brain priorities her child needs above everything . Imagine 24*7 in her mind it’s just baby , if baby has eaten or not , slept or not , learning and growing or not, what clothes and gears should I buy next etc etc. There are 1000s of such things that occupy a mother’s brain. And after all this her body and mind is sooo done that she doesn’t have any bandwidth to approach u for intimacy. And she is absolutely right that she wants it but she is too tired and exhausted to start it. What you can do: Take her out frequently and it’s like you have to plan everything don’t give her any task please. A new place , a hotel room, a resort where she can relax and forget about baby gives her mind a break where she can think about u. You have to really step in and fill in your bucket with her tasks. Give her alone time , take baby out for one hour at least everyday. Take responsibility of bed time. Just do these things and see the changes in her.
Once a week is not okay??
Actually i feel once you become a mother you can never be a good wife anymore..no matter how much you try,your child will always be priority and that affects the marital relationship a bit. Moreover handling toddler is really a hefty task. Not sure if you get time to help her.if she works or not. If she is working,then also doing household work,taking care of child,etc.she might be tired and sleepy. So even if she is interested or has the urge, she never initiates bcz she wants rest. Moreover once a week is not that much of a concern..so everything is fine.just chill n enjoy
Indian philosophy, tradition, world view and the entire conceptualisation behind indian mariage is how to control urges and libido and continence.... So if you are getting a chance to.use your sexual energies for higher purposes, which obviously you seem totally ignorant of, as is typical of a householder, why don't you take this bait in a positive way and rise.... Instead of complaining to the whole world about lack of sex , intimacy and depravity of physical pleasures...which looks so pitiful if not spiteful You hv not ununderstood the Indian envisionings out of marriages at all....these are all western mindless pigmy myopic distorted childish nascent ie western concepts of doing sex even on the date they die (say at 75, which they wil consider as successfull earthly sojourn). Don't fall for such ppl and concepts who never grew beyond psychological age of 12yrs (scientifically, for 90% of humanity). Sex should leave a persons mind at max of 45yrs, if he has really grown up...tell your wife after 45, you will also drop it (i missed yr age). So she will know she also has limited years for whatever intimacy quests she has left, if any.
hormones imbalance ... get checked by Gynaecologist ...
Appoint house maid or helper to do her house chores and take care of her baby partly atleast so that she get me time and also get sometime to think about you. Now she is exhausted on her day
Once a week!! and still you write a confession like this ?
She's actually tired bro. I can understand. It's just you acknowledge this while other men don't
I see plenty of people saying to have a house helper and the woman is really tired. But the fact is different. She simply doesn’t need this guy any more regardless of her situation. Her body doesn’t need him. And - he makes it a complaint here because he is starting to give up…. If you know what I mean.
Why blood same blood moment
Starting of marriage it will be 4 times a week after a child it will be once a week after the second one it will be almost once in a month then slowly disappears to year we don't even have intimacy twice in a year atleast yours once in a week it's better enjoy
Bc subah subah sax sux ki kahani
Bro hire maid and nanny earn ten times now.. or lose earlier privileges .. simole
Don't force more to her..as her role changed now ..u just try ur hand bro...once a week is not enough for you ??? CRAZY 🤪 MAN ...
Some of the comments here from men are disgusting! 🤢 Are you kidding me? She gave birth to your child too, it's not just her responsibility. And you expect her to satisfy your sexual desires everyday? (as if once a week isn't enough). Some men really need to grow up and sort out their priorities. If you only want physical intimacy throughout life, you shouldn't have children. Just get married and keep doing it. If you want a happy loving family, it's not possible without sacrifices from both ends.
That's what happens when u just donate some sperm and becomes a parent 😑 grow up pls
Dude her roles and holes change post birth. Just go to pr0stitutes and enjoy. Most likely someone else is taking care of your wife's holes so that's why she isn't interested in you.
Comments for Post #C27763
Submit Confession