Hi everyone, 27M | Living in a metropolitan city | Dual postgraduate | Working in an MNC I wanted to share something that's been on my mind and would genuinely appreciate your advice. I grew up without much guidance when it came to life or my career. If anything, there were more people trying to pull me down than help me. Because of that, I've worked really hard to get where I am today, and I'm proud of how far I've come. When it comes to relationships, I've never been in one. During school and college, I did receive a few proposals, but I was never interested in casual dating. Even now, at work, a few colleagues try to connect with me through social media or get closer. I'm happy being friends with everyone, but sometimes people cross boundaries, and I prefer to keep things respectful and professional. The main reason I'm posting is because my parents and relatives have started strongly pushing me to get married. I'm receiving good marriage proposals, and some of the women are even earning more than I do. The problem is that I don't feel ready yet. I believe I still have a lot of potential to achieve in my career. Financially, I feel I should be earning at least ₹12–15 LPA before taking on the responsibility of a family. I also have a personal goal of paying for my own wedding and being financially capable of giving my future wife a comfortable life, instead of depending on my parents. Although my parents are well settled and are willing to bear all the wedding expenses, I want to do it myself. At the same time, I'm worried that if I keep delaying marriage, I might regret it later or miss out on meeting the right person. So I'm genuinely confused. Should I focus on my career first and postpone marriage until I feel financially ready, or am I overthinking this? Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'd really appreciate your perspectives and experiences.
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What does 'feel financially ready' mean to you? Some get married at 3 LPA while some don't feel ready at 20LPA. I am not asking u rush in for marriage with anyone but I am also not asking you to miss the bus for stupid reasons. Seen many making excuses at around late 20s saying they are not ready, have many things to do while rushing for marriage into 30s without any considerable change in their life. The truth is today most want to just avoid the responsibilities which comes with marriage so delay it with various reasons as late as possible to enjoy the freedom only to rush at the last minute. You can have ur own reasons to delay but only you can analyze and tell truth to urself whether it's genuine or just an excuse bcoz opportunities don't come again and again.
If you are not interested in marriage now, don't marry.
Strike the rod while it’s hot ! If u delay we can expect another confession of not getting brides 😂
I think it's a confusion which everyone goes through at some point in their life. You know a better question you can ask yourself is "how much I am saving" because you earn 5 LPA or 50LPA, doesn't matter if your savings is zero. So that's q financial advice.. save now, save tomorrow and the day after. Next, about the marriage... Take your time, do not decide anything in a hurry. Maybe meet a couple of girls, talk to them, see whether their values qnd thoughts match yours or not. Marriage is not only about financial security, it is much more than that. So take conscious decision. And also think about your age(whatever it is today) and what your child's age would be when you retire, if you marry today. Sometimes delayed marriages end up with being a parent of a minor child at the age of retirement..so think about that. Another one is, even today with age, the number of marriage proposals is reduced.
Do you want to get married and have children? Not immediately but in future? If yes then start meeting prospective girls now. Talk to them about your concerns 1. Your current salary 2. Wedding expenses 3. Future living arrangements (nuclear/with parents) 4. Do you want her to be always earning or is it ok if she decides to be housewife 5. Do you expect her to give all her salary to you or do you want her to share expenses of nuclear family 6. Do you want her to NEVER ever give a penny to her parents/ siblings 7. Do you expect her to do all the chores as well go out and earn as well as give her salary to you (which you will use for yourself & your parents) 8. How much meddling your parents are going to be, how much her parents are allowed If you still like them after all this discussion then also talk about 9. Sexual orientation, drive, monogamy, what if one is unsatisfied, online cheating 10. Do you both want kids? Can you maintain celibacy when wife is pregnant or you will (try to) cheat (online/offline) 11. Will you be supportive during pregnancy and during postpartum 12. Will you two be able to handle it on your own or expect either side of parents to help
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