Comments for Post #C27741

Losing Myself in a Love That Devoured Me

Im 28 and he’s 22 I met my love at the gym who was eight years younger than me. To me, he was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. I was the one who approached him first. Later, he asked me to be his girlfriend and by our second date, we were officially together. About a month into the relationship, things slowly started becoming toxic. He struggled with a fear of abandonment, deep trust issues, and constant insecurity, jealousy. I promised him that I would never betray him or give him a reason to doubt my love. I wanted him to feel safe with me. Little by little, I lost myself. I drifted away from my friends, became distant from my family, and stopped living the life I once had. My world became just him and me. To reassure him, I agreed to everything he asked of me. Every day became another battle. His suspicions only grew stronger. He became controlling. I deleted all my socials even WhatsApp. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere alone. I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone. I couldn't miss a single call. He always wanted a video tour of my room and eventually I even started recording myself while I slept just to prove I wasn't doing anything wrong. I couldn't be there for my family anymore. I couldn't even walk with my head held high because he wanted me looking down whenever we were outside. I accepted all of it because I didn't want to lose him or leave him feeling alone. I kept trying to understand where all this pain and fear inside him came from. He would frequently insult me, repeatedly threaten to end the relationship, and sometimes become physically violent whenever he was angry. Both of our families strongly opposed our relationship. Over time, I convinced myself that this was simply my life now because, despite everything, I loved him deeply. We were inseparable. It felt like we were one body with two souls. We spent almost every day together, and whenever we weren't physically together, we were on the phone or FaceTime. In ten months of being together, there wasn't a single day we didn't hear each other's voice. Then, for several days, the pressure from both of our families became overwhelming. The situation was spiraling out of control. One day, after a fight with his father, his father reported him to the police. He was also struggling with a w**d addiction. When I went to the police station, they wouldn't let me see him and told me to come back the next morning. When I returned, he was gone. His phone has been switched off ever since. I searched everywhere and asked everyone I could, but no one would tell me where he was. His family blocked me. When I reached out to his mother, she told me that wherever he was, it was none of my business. She said that after being with him for almost a year, I hadn't been able to change him, that her son now needed treatment, and that I should stop bothering them and leave them alone. Since that day, I haven't been able to contact him or find out where he is. It's been six days, and I'm left with no answers. Despite everything that happened between us, despite all the pain, I still wanted to be by his side. I’m left with no clue. I miss him, I want to hear him. I want to be with him. Feels like my world is collapsing. Will he ever comeback?