I have given up on life and have been wanting to die from long time but unable to take that final step. I know its not the worst there can be but I hardly find any reason to look for next day considering my past and present are like this and I believe my future will be same or worst. 1. Insomnia 2. PIED 3. Emotional Numbness 4. Introvert 5. Communication Issue 6. No life skills (driving, cooking, gym, etc) 7. Work 8. Earnings & Peer pressure 9. Feeling lonely but not reaching out 1. I have been having sleep issue for a decade now. Recently I got it checked but 3-4 medicines didn't work. One worked but had bad side effects like groggy morning and ED. So stopped taking that. 2. I never had gf (or any female connection) and I have been p*rn addicted for almost a decade now daily. I have tried multiple times to stop but keeps coming back. 3. I seriously don't feel any attachment towards anyone; be it family, friends, etc. So much so that recently my two close family members died and it didn't bother me much and I am certain it will be same for others also. Makes me wanna think what kind of person I am. Apart from I feel empty I don't feel anything with one exception where I recently had a friendship which lasted for 6 months then gone. 4. I am a big time introvert and have very much difficulty making friends. It's very difficult for me to talk to others including I ones I know. It's like I never have anything to talk. 5. I have problems making friends and keeping the ones I somehow made. My chat and call logs are usually empty apart from sales calls. I can live with my roommates, small talk everyday for over a year and still don't feel as friends. 6. I don't have much life skills, from childhood just was allowed to pay attention to studies and not even the best at that and given the kind of work doing the skills keep deteroiting only. I don't know how to drive, cook, swim, take nice photos, etc. I have tried cooking multiple times but i keep stopping. I am able to drive 2 wheeler but doesn't ever feel interested to, especially alone. I did drive for 2 months few yrs back when i liked spending time with some colleagues and roaming with them. 7. I am keep on trying but unable to get on my proper tech. Wherever i work for some reason they keep on giving odd jobs or legacy techs to work on other than my strength. This has badly impacted by growth, considering i was one of the best in my college. Now i don't even see myself. 8. I am the only earning member in my family which i am supporting from the time i started earning and myself living on bare minimum. Even though my earnings are not too bad, after these considerations it feels very low and now I see people who where not even 1% compared to me are earning on same or more level whereas i couldn't grow in the fields they excelled in. 8. Even when i feel the worst I hardly feel i have anyone to call or msg to. There has been only a few months of time where these thoughts were a bit calm, not completely faded, but somewhat less. But now that is also over. It's not a instinctive thought as I have these thoughts everyday. I feel no purpose in life, nothing to look forward to, and because of this plainness i want to die; not because this is one bad phase which will go away but the constant tinkering that everything is the same. To top it off I am more so concerned about future now. I have been feeling lonely more than ever now. I have crossed 30 and my family has started looking for matches. I am fairly certain that my married life will be miserable having no romantic experience and having ED, also fairly certain I will be cheated on and left broken. Not trying to accuse my to-be wife even before marrying but more so because physical intimacy is a general expectation and if she can't get it from me then over time she will drift and may find someone else if they show some affection. So with all these possibilities I don't see much point of me going on and making life of me, my family and my to-be family's life miserable. I have a decent term insurance which i took the first time I had these thoughts and have set multiple deadlines over time to take action but kept on failing. My next plan is aug or sept and hoping maybe this time it will go as planned.
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Pet an animal a pup ,a bunny or a cockatoo..unconditional love there.. Join the security service of a children's park..Being around them is bliss . Visit the Golden temple n do selfless service Read the purana.. it shows u the way to reach urself. Breathe the 4am air n gaze the sun..it shall breathe life in u. Be with any yogi or saint n just move in silence with them..Great company generates greater vibes. I can carry on until midnight..U exist for the very reason that's why u r inhaling right now.Just keep showing up.Let Almighty decide when u stop to cease. There is this afterlife.Dont spoil it by giving up to say the least ; even if this so called human life sucks.
This is what depression looks like.. bro you are depressed and nothing is giving you happiness or peace.. Talk to someone openly, go consultant psychiatrist. This feel is temporary only if you try to come out of it.
Your solution starts with a Full Psych eval, Therapy, Psychiatric intervention. Accompany that with putting urself first (Somewhere I'm getting the vibe u're suffering a Narcissistic family background, have that assessed). Start with learning basic life skills starting weekends, start going to the gym, endorphins will make u happy enough to build up on confidence to go out and reduce p*rn consumption. Then take it from there. Post an update here and will tell u how to move ahead along the career. It will be a long process so be patient with yourself. U may stumble and fall many times but persistence is the key. Take one step at a time. It will all fall into place.
Have you started running ? Running is an excellent cure for depression and many neuro issues . Start yoga , it reduces tamasicness . And start contributing to a social cause . Action is the only solution to curb the devils of imagination.
Telemanas helpline 14416. Reach out. Someone somewhere is there for you. Call iCall. Vanderwala foundation.. typing and writing your pain was the first step which you already took towards healing. Take the next step, call any of the above.
Ur all problems relates to one things - Confidence, Come on bro, what thing u can't do if u have confidence, Go to gym 1-2 hrs daily Start taking baby steps for ur work profile So many platforms - talk with girls, they may reject once or twice but it will develop confidence slowly.. Don't think about ed , it all goes if u develop confidence and get urself checked up. Things will improve for sure, Drive.. it's not big thing, learn from experts, or gadi leke nikal jao yar ..open area mei .... park or smthing where there's no one ...u will learn... But hv confidence to kearn new things. Cooking..watch youtube abd cook
You are pretty aware of all your problems and still not trying to come out of any of these. If we sow a seed, it will grow and live silently.....animals too born and die....as a human being, what are you going to do? Decided just to die without being useful to anyone including yourself??? As you know, nothing is impossible... just come out of your lame excuses and laziness.... experience life to the fullest. Even if you don't cook or gym, learn driving....visit places. Don't compare yourself to others. Start making travel friends, go for road trips. Break the shell, mingle with people. Expose to world. Even if you don't marry, no problem. Live for yourself at least. Once you change yourself, be active....all other problems will disappear. Embrace life.....
You need psychiatric+ neuro consult .. Find a good neuropsychiatry specialist ...
You're aware of your issues. Go to a therapist. Try to be around people/ kids . It's therapeutic. Help youngsters in your family, be involved. People in hospitals are praying for life. Live life in gratitude.
The fact that ur hoping for the aug or sep month itself says ur not depressed Depressed ppl don't have hope They will be hopeless and helpless. As a doctor go for one master health check up It's okay to live alone.. Who needs to know driving swimming to exist in this world. Ur simply lazy to do things.. If u genuinely feel u need to change then think about marriage if not so Live like this There is nothing wrong or right in this world Unless hurting people or doing bad to people. God bless you
If you are toxic like this people will obviously avoid you. Be cheerful, be the bad guy and dont try hard to be a good guy. Go propose a random girl who is wearing green color dress immediately after 8:00 AM on 11-Jul. If she is already take then find the next green color dressed girl by 9:00 AM and propose. Imagine you were married and have a kid? Will you help your wife change the diaper for your kid? Check your health. Get more sunlight. Take vitamin D+ K2, B12 supplement after consulting with doctor Dont worry that you are useless everyone is useless. Every adbc is converting food to shyt on a daily basis. Forget the past of the girl that you are going to marry as long as her past is not impacting your future it should be ok. If she is truthful to you after marriage it should be fine. If you are waiting to lose your virginity to a virgin, keep dreaming. Eat idly with getti chutney. Relax and enjoy life.
Only idiots are so inefficient even in multiple suicide attempts... Having said so, your problem is only depression...only one problem, not hundreds or thousands.....all the rest are just side issues.... Go and volunteer yourself in some Ashrama, for 2 mths atleast, do gardening, eat simplest of foods and listen to simple discourses and witness simplest of living..... May your life become a blessing for you and others, you never know.....until you try, and this is way way easier (you can earn also there if you learn cooking or gardening)..
Have you done Full Body Checkup recently or ever? Sometimes vitamin deficiencies cause depression. Try TATA 1mg app. Rates are reasonable. Choose package which has lipid profile, thyroid profile, B12, D and magnesium. Take those reports to any MBBS+ doctor. Start taking medicines for deficiency. --- Also take these free mental health tests. You might be neurodivergent hence having issues to fit in neurotypical world. 18 to 60 age group - https://forms.gle/HDDv4Gf2ZJF8hQuF9 60+ age-group - https://forms.gle/9hRg1BRxmMT1htDN7 www.psychologytestingforall.com --- Facebook showed me this video just now https://www.facebook.com/reel/2018265176242260?s=yWDuG2&fs=e&mibextid=Nif5oz
Bro, the Gurumantra is this "One at a time". Make a list of the things you want to do and apply 3 sec rule viz. doing if it has to be done and starting with the very first step in a simple 3 sec window. may be, god has something in it's mind to give you to make someone's life better. Men needs other men or group to stay focused, purposeful and content. As per astrology, someone if suicides does not get a new and beautiful life unless the all pending karma is finished. Suicide wouldn't help.
Life is nothing but taking one breath at a time, one moment at a time, one hour, one day at a time.
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