Comments for Post #C27260

Please help me understand what to do and how to handle this situation. It’s becoming suffocating, and I genuinely feel like I can’t cope with it anymore. I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I’m a 26-year-old male currently in a long-distance relationship with a 25-year-old woman. We were classmates at university, and I developed feelings for her almost instantly. We became close friends and remained so until I finally confessed my feelings around three years ago. At that time, in 2023, she turned me down. Although we stayed friends afterward, our friendship was never quite the same. In 2024, she moved abroad and eventually cut contact with me. Despite how deeply I loved her, I accepted her decision. We remained completely out of touch for approximately 18 months, and honestly, that period was one of the most difficult times of my life. Last year, in August, she returned, and we met with the intention of ending things properly and moving on. However, unexpectedly, that meeting led us in the opposite direction. Instead of ending things, we decided to give the relationship a chance. Within a week, we found ourselves in a long-distance relationship. Things progressed gradually, yet at the same time very naturally. Alhamdulillah, throughout our friendship and relationship, we have maintained our dignity, values, and boundaries. We have never engaged in anything inappropriate. We have never even held hands. Everything seemed to be going well until recently. Both of our families know about our relationship and are supportive of it. I am very close to her family, and she has met my family as well and feels comfortable with them. The problem is that every few months, roughly every three months since August, she begins questioning her feelings. She starts wondering whether she truly loves me or not. I don’t know whether this happens because I am extremely expressive, affectionate, and emotionally invested in the relationship. Despite the distance, I try my best to make it feel as though there is no distance between us. I put a lot of effort into the relationship and encourage her to do certain things as well, often for her own benefit and for the health of the relationship. However, things have recently reached a point where I feel overwhelmed. She now says that she can only see the relationship not working out in the future, which indirectly feels like she’s talking about a breakup. Yet at the same time, she insists that she wants this relationship to work more than anything else. As for me, I am naturally expressive, loving, caring, protective, and admittedly a little possessive. I don’t control her life or decisions, but I do worry about her safety. For example, I appreciate simple updates when she’s out, such as letting me know when she has left home or arrived safely. Nothing beyond that. I also enjoy talking to her and hearing her voice, so I often ask if we can call. I know it’s not always possible, but I genuinely love speaking with her. Lately, however, even that seems to have become too much for her. She, on the other hand, is far less expressive. She tends to be avoidant, often isolates herself, and withdraws when things become emotionally overwhelming. She behaved this way even when we were just friends, and she continues to do so now. She says that she wishes she could love me the way I love her. When she feels unable to match my level of affection or effort, she begins questioning whether she loves me at all. This cycle has now reached a boiling point and is causing serious strain on both of us. I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to lose her. I prayed for her for years, made countless efforts, and when we reunited after all that time apart, it felt too meaningful to be a coincidence. It felt like something destined, something worth fighting for. One final thing worth mentioning is that this is the first relationship either of us has ever been in. Before this, neither of us had ever been involved with the opposite gender in any romantic capacity—not even as close friends. I would truly appreciate any advice, perspective, or guidance