Comments for Post #C27668

Losing Priority: A Unique Workplace Bond Unravels During Pregnancy

Hi Everyone I am 30 M from Odisha. No female interaction whatsoever apart from mother be it sister, friends, gfs, etc. I am also not emotionally invested in any family or friends. So life is like lonely for me. For 6 months I had relationship with a girl from my office who was married. We did not had s**, we were more like in between friends and couples. Overall we might have been intimate 5-6 times and this was like hugging and somewhat kissing and one time a bit more physical. I never wanted to start this from the beginning itself and whenever she used to talk anything affectionate I would call her sister to break the flow. Over 3-4 days she noticed it and pointed it out and told we could say some romantic words and like it is common between friends and so began us. Majority of the times I pulled back when it felt we were crossing the line. In 2 months of our bond she got pregnant, from her husband only (we never had s**). And even that we continued, more like it grew more itself for 2 months. This 2 months were the ones we were physically, before and after this we didn't even hug, only holded hands. Then the next 2 months, we were equally close but we didnt get physical. One of the reason was she was pregnant and her husband used to come to pick her up so we started to get less time. So for me these 6 months were the best times of my life. Just for the fact that I felt as priority in someone's life, the physical part was something not of a big deal to me. We did promise to be same long term as friends but something changed in a very short period. Both of us went to our different hometown for 2 weeks, after coming back 2 weeks were wfh. So we met almost after a month and things had completely changed to my surprise. Distance wasn't the only reason as previously I had gone once and it only brought us close. One after the other we stopped doing our usual things together and now we hardly share much updates or she puts enough energy. At first I had felt it might be due to pregnancy and she might be putting more that energy on herself. This is not entirely wrong but I have come to notice that for most of the usual things I have been replaced by someone else who was also part of the group. Now I am not saying that there is anything intimate or romantic going on but the things which matter like sharing updates, talking, just normal things which would make you feel like you are tge first person for them. This is what is naking me feel a lot bad. If she was just putting the energy on herself I couldn't be more happier but seeing what used to be is someone else now hurts. At start I didn't say anythjng as I didn't wanted to give her even an inch of stress but now its 3 months and it feels like way too late. I haven't said anything much till now as she is last phases of pregnancy and even after that for few months I am not planning to talk abt this as she would be recovering. However I did ask 1 or 2 times of we are ok, we often used to even when we were together and each time she assured me we were. Even though I could see how things were unfolding before my eyes I chose to believe her. One of the reason of them coming close was because all 4 of them knew each other well and had got close, whereas I was part of the group but it was mostly because of her. Now we are farther than ever and she is going to go on leave for 2 months, and I have no idea how much things would have been changed by the end of it. I am scared because of that. I am not interested to be in romantic relation with her, never was, but am missing the priority she gave. I just want to be part of her life in whatever way possible - friend/brother/etc. So anyone who went through something similar or girls who went through pregnancy, what do you think would have changed? And do you think we can get back to normal or the distance will keep growing?