I (28M earning 30LPA) and she (28F earning 6LPA) we were just classmates till 7th and she was the topper of our class. Later on we went with our own life, never talked 1 to 1, sometimes met with the group, nothing special. Later around my bachelor's i changed my house and came in her society, we've been here since 7 years but we used to barely meet, she used to live in Delhi and i sometimes in my hometown and sometimes in Bangalore. Her father passed away due to cancer around 3-4 years ago. Now she has a mother and a younger brother who has Down's Syndrome. While she was living in Delhi she had a few relationships, while in college and she did everything what a cool college girl in Delhi, would do. Though, I am not sure about her Exact Body Count number. Meanwhile i was more Introverted. Never had a Girlfriend, No Partying... Just focused on my Career. Now, I'm in Delhi, working from Home & of late, I started hanging out with her, just casual, nothing much intimate. I seem to enjoy her company, she's smart, kind, responsible, confident and knows how to treat her husband well. We both are single but now the catch is... Although she has her own home and not rented, she doesn't have enough to get her brother and her mother through live their life. She believes she does but i believe otherwise. She has a bad reputation in the society like smoking weed, doing drugs, drinking etc and my parents also know all that about her. My parents had already told me not to hangout with her but I did, casually. My other friends also know her and they said that she is not my type. Even I used to think like that but a lot has changed with her after her father's death. She would send most of her income to her home fo their expenses. And for any reason it she may stop earning for sometime that responsibility might come on to me and I'm the only boy in my family to take care of my parents. She's 5.2 and I'm 5.11, and also she's very thin so she looks much smaller. I'm okay with it. But my Parents may not consider her, due to some Astrological incompatibility as she's Manglik. The biggest turn off for me is that, most other girls were very dumb, atleast the one's that i met. I never shared my feelings with anyone always buried them and it always worked, but in front of her somehow i could became vulnerable, like i could show her my true feelings without hiding and she wouldn't judge me for it. I'm not sure is it all happening because I'm at a low point of my life (I was part of layoff). Please help me decide what should i do.
Share your thoughts anonymously.
ℹ️ Your comment will be posted publicly on Facebook if it complies with our community guidelines.
💬 Comments (24)
You're a walking reminder that thinking is optional.
Meet more women. The only good thing here is that she understands you without judging you and gave you a safe space to open up. But is that enough to oppose your parents and marry her? First, does she even like you that way? And would your family ever respect her? If not, why would you want to bring her into that environment? She seems more like a good friend who genuinely cares about you. Keep it that way. Sometimes women get an unfair reputation because of gossip, but you still don't know the full story. Character, habits, past relationships, and body count all matter. It could work if your past is similar or worse. Otherwise, I wouldn't recommend it.
More than body count.other things are red flags... Financially u can't manage her side after marriage then move on
लगता है एक और चुतीया निपटने वाला है 😂😂
Bro, she is the one for you bro. Don't lose her just bcoz of ur parents. Parents ka kya h kuch v bolte h. She's a manglik, so what? She smokes weed so what? She had casual flings and multiple affairs? So what? Her bdy count in double digit? Soo whattttttttt????? Society warns u about her? Mkc society ki. Bro marry her. Only ur true love can change her ❤
PLEASE Listen to me very carefully. This is going to be the most unbiased, logical and experience based advice you're gonna get. 1. Manglik dosh can be fixed; 2. Her body Count is not a sign of her character nor is your being an incel a sign of your character; 3. Her working post-marriage to support her family is also fine and even her legal duty - BUT ... and there's a BIG BUT - THE SMOKING, DRUGS & Alcohol (beyond moderation) can be a Great issue. The second issue would be your unwillingness to help her family if she has to stop working, which she surely will stop during maternity and if u may expect her to stay home for kids. Now what would be the issues - People who consume weed lead to harder substances. Even weed & more so with other drugs comes a habit of impulsivity, manipulation (the sweetness u see), even lies, definitely Hypersexuality in women that may lead to promiscuity in almost 80 to 90% cases (ur's might be in 10% but she will need attention); Aggression & Emotional Dysregulation, AND a health threat to any child she may conceive. Depending on what and how much she smokes and where she smokes, ur house may reek of it, she may reek in bed at night, & if you're a Non-smoker - Trust me it will be a problem. THEN when and IF u choose to have a baby - All hell may break lose. WHY - 1. She will have to ween of cannabis and smoke for at least 2 to 3 yrs before u can be absolutely sure of a healthy conception; 2. Even if she conceives without withdrawing She WILL have to stop smoking during pregnancy which will give her such bad withdrawals during maternity that it would wreak havoc on her, body, mentally and on ur family; 3. The chances of her, then slipping a ciggie or 2 here & there or a joint will be very high - & if u allow it to happen to keep peace - her mood may become fine but it will then wreak havoc on your unborn child. And if that child is born with issues then it will again be a strain on you and your marriage for the rest of your life. THEN ALSO when she's on maternity leave either u'll already be irritated if u have to fend for HER family too. That will add to the havoc. & if u decide not to maintain them, then she will be tense and upset - which will give her stress and add to the above mentioned chaos and health issues. She may even insist to keep working even in a sensitive condition. So while I totally understand that your Male Hormones combined with Intellectual selectivity are creating trouble for you.... THIS May be your exact future. Added bonus, if her consumption turns out to be a result of some sort of PD due to her tough childhood then you'll realize that Currently you're in the validation phase, in a few months you may be in the devaluation phase and ultimately lead to the "discard" phase. So go online read about behavioral issues among drug users and THEN decide whether u may like to mess up your own sorted life or not.
Dnt marry her… it’s good for you…. (Due to astrological compatibility ) Khudh rahoge wrna …
Marry her. N remember,she will just need you to love her like her father did. She will earn better eventually if you motivate and guide her.
Manglik part killed it, and ruined the entire thing that you wrote about her. what will you do if your parents don't want you to get married to her, bro?? She might be the one you love and gel with but do you think you can go through her past, your parents and the society to accept her as she is to be your lawfully wedded wife??
You need to decide for yourself. No one can do that for you. She may be the one, you never know. Wait and give yourselves time. Be very clear in whatever your expectations are. One can't get everything in a life partner nor can one be a flawless person.
Aab tu gf phirse banayega toh bhi puchega. Itna bada ho gaya. Aab toh apne faisle karlo.
"and knows how to treat her 'husband' well"?! 😵💫
there is no single quality to marry her
Nope .. straight no . Don't proceed, bhai ye charm do din mai gayab hojeyga . This is just your curiosity. It's not a Hollywood movie where bad girl/boy can be turn into some lover . Bc ye real hai ... Akhey kholo koi is chutiye ki .
Just Walk Away From Her.
28 ki age ke baad manglik dosh km ho jata hai, maybe your pandit is a fr@ud and forgot to tell you this
Bro Run In my state old people say " Nosto gari thik kora geleo ,nosto nari kono din thik hoina" Which mean a woman who already take drug ,alchol etc even God can't fix her
she knows how to treat her husband well - Bro gets a BJ every time they meet...
Stop simping.
Run bro run
Don't proceed.
The qualities or to say bad habits men adore about girls became unbearable after marriage. Smoking, Drinking, Partying, Clubbing, Coziness, Extrovert nature, Straight Forward responses all are likable when two perosn aren't together for 24×7. You like these things because it made easy for you to hang out with her, connect with her. Once you become a couple and share space with family and bond with society. Everything will be about reputation, values, image and all. Plus these habits are used for socializing and I'm not sure you'll be happy about your wife partying late at night with other men in future. Consider it as well. दो लोग साथ में ऐश करना, मौज शुरू कर सकते है पर कभी एकसाथ रुकते नहीं है। एक वक्त के बाद एक का मन भर जाएगा लेकिन दूसरा उसकी सुनकर खुद को रोकेगा नहीं और यही सबसे बड़ा झगड़ा बनता है। दो लोगों के बीच व्यसनों की समानता एक अच्छी शादी के चलने की आवश्यकता नहीं होती है और ना जरूरत। शादी मौज-मस्ती से कहीं अधिक है दोस्त 😇
Block her number. Don't hang out with her. She has all the traits of a prostitute. You got attached because you never had a girlfriend and having her company spending time with her has made you emotionally invested that's all. She is a suicide point. Don't go near her.