#C27625 Hi everyone, I am a 29-year-old software professional currently living in Pune. I am posting this here because I need a safe, trusted space to vent and perhaps get some perspective on a very painful chapter of my life. I am currently going through a bitter separation from my wife (also 29), and the emotional toll is becoming heavy to carry alone. Our story began back in 2022 when we met at our workplace. At the time, she was in a relationship with someone else, though it was already in very bad shape. Over time, we grew close, a deep bond formed, and she eventually chose to be with me. As our relationship progressed, we shared immense intimacy and got physical many times. Like any couple, we had our share of ups and downs, but we truly believed in our future together. After years of navigating life side-by-side, we finally got married in 2025. However, things began to fracture almost immediately after the wedding, starting right from our reception day. On the day of the reception, a gold chain that her family had gifted to me accidentally got destroyed. I was deeply upset and called her, expecting some emotional support or condolences. Instead, she instantly blamed me, saying it was entirely my fault. That incident triggered something negative, and she began questioning and arguing with me over minor things. That night, I went to sleep carrying a lot of hurt and anger. When I woke up the next morning, I saw her sleeping on the sofa. I called her over, we talked, and we had s**. I thought maybe we were past the tension, but unfortunately, it was just the beginning of a rapid decline. After that day, things grew progressively worse. Every time I tried to communicate or voice my thoughts, she would flare up in anger. Soon, a major systemic issue surfaced: the financial expectations from her and her family. My wife is an earning professional who makes a good income. However, she hands over all her earnings entirely to her own family. At the same time, she and her family expected me to bear all their expenses. If they planned to go anywhere or do anything, the financial burden was automatically placed on my shoulders. My stance was very clear: I am more than willing to bear all responsibilities for my wife, but I cannot financially support her entire family while she gives her own salary away to them. Because of these constant financial clashes, emotional disconnect, and lack of respect, the situation became unlivable. We started living separately in January. Initially, when I asked her for a divorce, she agreed. She came over and took all her belongings, including her streedhan. But recently, she changed her stance and claimed she was no longer ready for a divorce. Somehow, after a lot of painful conversations, I managed to convince her again. If I am being completely honest with my heart, I am torn. Deep down, I know she is doing all of this because of her family. They have always tried to pull her down, control her decisions, and manipulate her life. Part of me feels a profound sadness for the person I fell in love with, but another part of me knows I cannot survive in a marriage where there is no boundaries or equality. I have realized I need to look out for myself, protect my mental peace, and look toward a different future. I just wanted to share this here to release the weight from my chest. Thank you for listening.
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💬 Comments (35)
"she eventually chose to be with me" 🤦♂️ No, you guys never learn. She never chose u. U were the best option available to her at that point and she just settled for u which was reflected in her behavior later. And gold chain got destroyed? Manje??? Was it broken? Then just simply make a new one from it. Was it lost? Fir to bhai sahime vo apki hi fault h 💀
Bro, nothing is above your own personal health, mental or physical. Do whatever u need to do to get rid of any toxicity around you. Get out of this and start afresh. Get out while u still can. And be smart. Use your intelligence to make the divorce smooth.
Firstly, how did you get married without discussing financial matters? Anyway, there's no shame in wanting to separate from something that's causing you constant emotional and financial stress. Sometimes things just don't work out. Family overinvolvement can also be extremely detrimental to a relationship. But it also sounds like there wasn't much love between the two of you. And from the way you've described everything, you seem like someone who puts all the blame on other people without taking accountability for your own actions. Think about that. And .. Good luck with the rest of your life. Choose well next time.
Apart from protecting your mental health the most important aspect is to protect yourself from legal disputes and financial loss via allegations of mental torture , domestic violence and alimony claims. Ensure if you both want separation it is on a peaceful note and keep your guards and proof aside.
अब पता चला यूँही कहावत नहीं है, मर्द को भी दर्द होता है । Bro i live in Pune Meet me.... जन्नत की सैर कराउंगा तुम्हे।
Dont worry for her. You are not here to correct/help every1. Discuss with ur lawyer and get her consent for a mutual divorce legally recorded before she changes her mind again !
Whatever happened it was for your better Tommorow , but learn the fact that you were just a better option and don't open the doors again coz that's what makes you seem weak nd available for her to hurt you , anyways if you need to lighten up ur mood on weekends or hang out I am also living in pune
Remember to take back the jewellery and ornaments you and your family gifted to her. Don't just let her leave with your gifts along with her "streedhan". #justsaying
You may connect with me for, professionalcompatibility analysis,, that will get you to understand the underlying causes and how to handle these complications and get positive interactions between you two. It's entirely your call,, maybe it can help. Thank you for sharing, hope the venting out helps...
If you haven't given a thought to couple therapy, think about it. DM if you need any references from Pune in this regard.
If someone is giving importance and priority to a gold chain than respecting and valuing a relationship. That itself speaks volumes about the difference in wavelength End it soon Save urself. She has trauma bonded with u And it's no longer love. Like it's safer to be with a harmless person Than being in a Good relationship.
You have a meeting with her and discuss this issue before taking divorce. Give her a chance
As a divorce attorney - Your Marriage CAN be saved. And perhaps a transformed love can ve re-discovered. You just need some genuine and properly routed intervention. Too elabprate to be written in a comment. We usually don't expect people from confessions posts to DM. Mostly because they're so engrossed in self-shaming that the end goal is mostly venting and not actually seeking a solution (As you already mentioned in your post too). But IF some day you DO choose to find a solution, feel free to DM. All the Best either way.
Son i don't know you,but as a mother my humble kind request is to pray seek God in your deepest trouble trust me our God is merciful loving God he will definitely give you a good peaceful happy n healthy n prosperous life.Rest assured of my prayers
Good .. move on
Connect with Save indian family foundation. We are there to help bro.. Nothing wrong..
It's called karma. You broke a man. How it's your turn.
These things should have been discussed before marriage. She has absolutely no business to handle over her salary to her people and they're so shameless to take it. You both need to build a life together away from your respective families. Visit a counselor. She needs to use her own brain. You're not wrong but tell me something, how did the gold chain get destroyed?
Best luck Buddy
God is seeing everything bro...u wil get peace and justice... Live for ur own parents now....
Tldr bro grow a pair
Hope the burden of the load got less with this confession. It didn't work, it's over, so new chapter in life, new innings ..
अब पता चला यूँही कहावत नहीं है, मर्द को भी दर्द होता है । Bro i live in Pune Meet me.... जन्नत की सैर कराउंगा तुम्हे।
Don't marry someone who doesn't think for themselves. Both male and female. Everything will feel all good then someone will say a bad thing about you and they will change 180 degree.
Money earned by husband is for their family where as Wife earned money is for their fathers family. This is the worst part women doesn't understand that her family is now her husband. Support your father's family but should have a limit on it.
>> On the day of the reception, a gold chain that her family had gifted to me accidentally got destroyed. I was deeply upset and called her, expecting some emotional support or condolences. >> Really? are you 2yo crybaby? >> At the same time, she and her family expected me to bear all their expenses. If they planned to go anywhere or do anything, the financial burden was automatically placed on my shoulders. >> Looks like you have made them spend too much money during marriage. Destroying gold chain, and calling for 'emotional support' (or did you want another gold chain?). "अलेले.... तुटलं का खेळणं तुझं.... ललू नको.... आपण तुला दुसरं खेळणं घेऊन देऊ हम्म."
Please get out before y'all make babies. IT ONLY GETS MORE TOUGHER TO SEPARATE!!!!! DON'T ASSUME EVERYTHING WORKS OUT WELL IN THE END
If you are in hinjewadi. You can connect with me. N don’t worry.. its complex but easy.. .. we just need attitude to fight..
Clearly it looks like you fell for sex. Once done you both lost interest.
So she was dating someone else then bailed on him for you... And it started with "immense intimacy" ... And later it was a Sh!t show of lost chain during marriage... Then it's fights... Makeup S*x... Some more fights... Garbage understanding... Then her family and you becomes the main culprits... And she's an innocent soul... You know... What starts off with s*x and toxicity... lacking meaningful conversations or understanding, impulsive decisions, voluntary blindness towards someone actions is bound to fail right... See my only advice for you... Stop chasing around other people's toxic playthings and Grow a spine... After that maybe a pair of... you know what I mean... That's it ... Hope you become a man soon... 👍🏻🙂
She bekongs to streets get rid of her
You chose a monkey and now blaming her. You should have learnt what happened to her ex boyfriends during courtship. You ended up where you began with her. Pray God that she leaves you peacefully and take a better decision next time. Or, you keep jumping like her and do the same thing with others. However, you will never be at peace and wellbeing. We get at the end what we do to others.
U written she slept on sofa and u both had sexxxx ....is it normal or else ...so nowdays no sexxxx bro....what is situation...अब पता चला यूँही कहावत नहीं है, मर्द को भी दर्द होता है । Bro i live in Pune Meet me.... जन्नत की सैर कराउंगा तुम्हे।
Sweet talk her into divorcing you or else she will make your life hell.
bro she is a gold digger and wants ua money and wants to treat u like an ATM or a credit card who she will use it till the limit is exhausted....save ua life n hard earned money rather than spending it on her...file for a divorce and get out of this marriage ASAP to save ua mental n financial peace