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Comments for Post #C27610
Submit ConfessionGender: Female24 June 2026 at 8:53 pm
#C27610 F32/IT Consultant/CTC 22 LPA I’m writing this because I genuinely need some suggestions and also want to unburden my heart a little. I’m in love with someone, and we’re about to get married. I earn reasonably well for the lifestyle we have and the city we live in. My would-be husband, however, earns around half of what I do. Recently, he renovated his house for us, and he is solely paying the EMI for it, which is almost equal to his monthly income. As a result, after paying the EMI and covering his personal expenses like travel and other necessities, he is left with almost nothing. I have already made up my mind that I will take responsibility for saving for our future children—their education, marriage, and other long-term needs—and I’ve already started doing that. However, what worries me a lot is our day-to-day household expenses. I may have to contribute a large part of it, or perhaps even bear most of it entirely. Once we have children, those expenses will only increase. On top of that, I also worry about things like vacations, outings, movies, restaurants, and the small comforts and experiences that make life enjoyable. At this point, I know that financially I should be able to manage these responsibilities, but I’m still looking for guidance on what I should do next. We are also planning to start a business in the future, but that too will require capital, and naturally he does not have much savings at the moment. I truly love him, and he loves me too. He may not be in a position to provide me with luxury gifts, shopping sprees, or dinners at 5-star restaurants, but he gives me the care, support, and love that I value deeply—at least from everything I’ve seen so far. I do not want to leave him, but because I’m worried about the financial side of our future, I think I’m looking for reassurance. Are there families where the husband takes care of the home loan/EMI while the wife manages the household, children’s expenses, and other financial responsibilities? Does such a dynamic work in the long run? I honestly don’t know what the future holds. When I sit down and calculate everything, it seems like I should be able to manage the family expenses. But at the same time, I worry whether this financial imbalance could eventually affect our relationship, or how society and people around us might view it. I would really appreciate any honest advice, experiences, or suggestions.
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💬 Comments (28)
When he spends no Issues… when she has to,,so many questions
Firstly, this is a marriage and not business deal. You seem to have calculated next 10yrs in your mind and are getting confused.. What if you loose your job or he does. Or you may get promoted too. Life is unpredictable , you can’t calculate everything beforehand. Don’t overthink. Like everyone says, marriage is lifelong companionship, where two people experience and explore a beautiful life together. It doesn’t come with conditions or expiry date. Trust and understanding is all that’s needed.
And still people ask why marriages fail in india... The reason is in front of you it's a business transaction... Based on contractual agreements... If party A or party B is not able to fulfill their ends of the bargain or not show a viable expenditure sheet detailing costs charged vs funds inflow... Or the balance is negative... Then you're done ... Amazing 🙂👍🏻
Remember 'self earned properties' are ONLY self's. Spouse doesn't have any ownership in it (even when they are coowner on paper). So if your future husband has built house, It's ONLY his. Marriage is NOT going to make you 50% owner. --- Now if you are going to use your 'self earned money' to pay for 100% of day to day expenses+child's education And He is going to use his 'self earned money' to build an asset for himself What exactly he is bringing to table?
Anything can be worked through if you sit down and discuss it with your partner. If you truly love him, financial matters alone shouldn't scare you this much. You don't even have kids yet, and you're already worrying about their expenses and your future lifestyle. What I like is that you aren't thinking about leaving. You're looking for reassurance and solutions because you're scared, and that's perfectly understandable. Have an open conversation with him about how he plans to handle things and what responsibilities each of you will take on. Marriages come in all kinds of dynamics. A confessions page isn't the best place to get advice for this. It'll only add more shame and negativity. Approach a financial planner or a premarital counselor. They'll be far more helpful in answering your questions than strangers on the internet.
Don't worry.... Sab manage ho jayega post marriage Future kids ka soch rahe ho... Future salary increase ka q nahi soch rahe. Backbone strong hoga to sab strong hoga. Bs mindset strong rakho
If u love someone truly then go for it. And abhi se ye sab doubt aa rhe soch rhe h to behan rehan de fir
This financial imbalance will affect you only when you let it if it will not in your mind it will not affect you. If you got a partner like you describe just go for it everything will fall in place when the time comes.
It's been husband and wife.. if wife is independent and by her own self she has no problem putting her share in household expenses then it's her choice . the man cannot force her to spend her earned money into house legally .. Legally in India , Husband is bread earner and he will take care of house expenses , kids , wife expenses too .. woman earning are her own , she wishes she can if not she cannot be legally forced to do so ..
In future when EMi is over he ll b the sole owner of property mean its life time saving,but the money u ll spent for house hold and expances ll be zero in long run.the best way is to ask him contribute 50% in house hold and u pay the half EMI, in return ask him to share the ownership of the property with you.it shall save ur future and hard earn money aswel.keep in ur mind time ll change everything in future.the relation , the l9ve feeling and effection aswell,so think and react wisely.but jahan tak muje lgta he apka bnda bhaag jae ga.🤪.for more advise u can contact me i ll tell u the sugarcoated way to deal this situation ideally.
Sit together and sort it out simply ! If you both agree then it’s manageable ! If not then your choice !
Marriage is not a business association or venture, employee-employer relationship or sugar daddy. It is a mutual agreement where both partners share their wealth and debt. Both should work as one in earning and saving. If you are not of such a mindset then 💯 it will cause problems down the road. Please excuse yourself from that relationship save yours and his future.
Don't worry, everything will fall in place. But along with love remember these two other most important aspects: UNDERSTANDING and RESPECT. Keep practicing them with each other, you will have a happy and content life
Compromise, sacrifice, adjustment in life .. if you have sympathy, empathy you can be happy
Financial burden creates a lot of confusion, hatred, resentment, regret,misunderstanding in a couple.. so be careful about getting married to this guy.. financial burden will not bring any peace of mind..
It's rare and admirable to see someone who doesn't run at the first realization that the man earns half as much, but instead reflects on what truly makes a marriage sustainable. 👌🏻
Just change the gender and see the hateful comments in the comment section. I feel pity for the man,he's pouring everything for both of you,the salary he earns,the love and care. Meanwhile you're in doubt here just because he's left with nothing after paying the emi for the house he renovated for both of you.
There are so many cases when male.partner earns well even then don't support their wife or children. They are abusive ans demands dowry. What will u do in that case. ALIMONY might be the amiable way
Jiski jitni income hoti h uske according manage krna prta h. Future ka sochke present q kharab kr rhe ho abhi se? In IT nothing is permanent. Nd in future salary will also increase. Why are you thinking too much.22lpa is a good amount you can manage the things easily. Do the savings and investment with your husband’s salary and use your salary to manage other household chores in that also you will be able to save. That’s how we all manage.
Y ask us, wen u ve already decided to dump him. BTW, he may get a wife, but, for ur age, will u get a husband?? Better be alone n enjoy life with ur ever reliable partner- Mr. Money 💰...
Hawa me mat rahiye ye pyar after two kids will be weeping outside window ..n how can u gurentee u will manage ..here u don't know next day..marriage is a big decision don't fall in love with no money ..later u hv to find other guy with money..n this love wil be in fights misery n sorrow
He renovated his house by borrowing money on intrest this is a never ending spiral…. 1.)he shouldn’t have done this….. Do a basic paint job an made it comfortable an liveable 2.) url should have worked together to do the renovation & future planing 3.)explain lifestyle ? For wt a for who? There is a English proverb We buy things with money we dnt have to please we dnt like…..
Mam, contact me personally. I can surely provide some assistance with respect to your financial stability which can turn your life around, like many hundred other peoples.
Does he or you don't have any option of future growth? I think the answer would be yes absolutely. Then why are you worried about expencess. What he is contributing is in asset building, your home is an asset, while what you are covering is pure expence, and just remember both are bond to rise in future. So chill, you have all options of future growth in career as well in asset too.
Friendship any marriage group here please suggest me some marriage group I m Looking female friend for marriage or long term any alone female here who wants to be comfortable with benefits secret friendship full privacy dedicated ping me...
With ur mindset ur relationship wont work out and you don't have true love. All you want is business deal
Man’s earning must be 100% family’s ! Woman earning should not be used even if it’s for family ! Typical mindset of average Indian bride. Waiting for feminist to charge on me
It's a typical women problem, where once they earn, love takes a backseat. In your case it's worse, tum toh aisa lagta hei husband ko thode dino mein khana bhi nahin khane dogi