Comments for Post #C27557

he has to prioritize money also ... he is dependent upon you for his financial needs ... so either make him understand money is needed after marriage .. expenses will be huge and 2 earning hands are needed ... if not , then choice of life is urs.

If guys family is ok then go ahead BUT Make it clear before marriage You won't give your salary to him or any of his family . Though happy to share bills of the house. Like if 6 bills are generated then 3 taken care by you and 3 by him Secondly kids expenses needs to be shared 50:50 It's not like wife pays 1lakh school fees entirely on her own. 50,000 from each one of you . Like that if he is ok to spend life with you go ahead. Don't worry about own home . In today's world except for politicians earning under the table cut money , business men and film stars it's difficult to get own house of our choice with out loan assistance. If you don't want to go for loan chakravuy Go for rented home again shared by both.

I see several positive sign. Your boyfriend has stood by you for 5 years. He supports your emotional well-being rather than judging you based on money or status. You’re financially responsible and actively trying to improve your future. Some of his relatives already know about your relationship and supporting it. Have plan What kind of wedding you actually want. trying to satisfy everyone else’s expectations.? Rather than trying to predict his family’s reaction. Discuss budgets openly with your boyfriend and decide together what is realistic and fair.

PERSPECTIVE SHIFTS His family's acceptance isn't a prerequisite for your marriage - It's important, but YOU two are the core. Supporting relatives matters more than grudge-holders. Financial differences are a dealbreaker - You BOTH come from humble backgrounds relatively. You have a job; he's building. You're actually aligned in values (he doesn't prioritise money). You're not responsible for his family's issues - Stop carrying their emotional weight. You can't control their acceptance; you can only control your character and effort. House ownership ≠ relationship readiness - Many couples start without homes. You build together. PRACTICAL STEPS (Priority Order) Immediate (Next 3 months): ✅ Have one direct conversation with him: "These are my fears. Let's make a plan together." ✅ Know his exact stance on: marriage timeline, finances, how much his family matters to him ✅ Stop shouldering marriage expenses alone - Decide together who pays what. It should be 50/50 or proportional to income. Medium-term (3-6 months): ✅ Job switch: Do it. Better income = reduced anxiety + actual progress ✅ Start a joint savings plan for marriage (even small amounts build momentum) ✅ Meet his supportive relatives intentionally - build your own support network within his family Long-term (6-12 months): ✅ Have a family meeting (both families if possible) - Clear, respectful conversation about marriage plans ✅ Set a timeline: "We'll marry by [date], savings goal is [amount], here's the plan" ✅ Stop waiting for permission; start acting like a team that's decided ADDRESS SPECIFIC FEARS Family won't accept you - Some won't initially; that's their issue, not yours. Focus on his supportive relatives. Can't afford expenses -You won't do it alone; he contributes too. Have a money conversation NOW. Financial mismatch - You're both starting out; you're equal players. Stop comparing to wealthier families - Parents are weak. You're already managing; you're capable. Accept this & plan accordingly. Career instability - You're actively improving; that's mature. Go ahead with the job switch CONFIDENCE BUILDERS You've lasted 5 years -This isn't a whim. You know each other. He's supportive, not selfish - This beats money/status every time in marriage. You're proactive - Job switch, managing expenses, thinking ahead = you're handling it. Humble beginnings build stronger marriages - You'll work as a team, not take things for granted. His family drama ≠ your problem - You're marrying him, not his family's baggage. RED FLAGS TO WATCH ⚠️ Does he take responsibility for his family situation or blame everyone? Is he willing to be a team player on finances, or defensive about money? Does he want to make decisions WITH you, or make them FOR you? Does he expect you to fix family relationships? If he checks these boxes, he's a keeper. Move forward. WHAT TO STOP DOING ❌ Worrying about other people's approval ❌ Carrying marriage expenses alone ❌ Waiting for "the perfect moment" (it won't come) ❌ Living in "what if" scenarios ❌ Sacrificing your career to reduce his burden WHAT TO START DOING ✅ Have direct conversations — No hints; say it plainly ✅ Make a written plan together (timeline, finances, family approach) ✅ Take the job switch - Financial security = peace of mind ✅ Build YOUR confidence independently (not tied to his family's approval) ✅ Set boundaries - You're not responsible for fixing his family or carrying all expenses ✅ Celebrate what you have - A supportive partner IS rare; acknowledge it BOTTOM LINE You're not asking for too much. You're asking for a partnership. Make sure he agrees, then stop second-guessing.

Now seems to be good....Don't know it remains same after marriage.... So both first prioritize ur financial situation..improve finance in both sides and get married ... Second in this situation don't do lavish wedding.... Marry in temple other needs with very minimal budget...

When you two are supportive & understanding towards each other there's NO problem at all. The rest is normal ups & downs of life, so plz stop overthinking! You have a completely normal & peaceful life, actually a blessed one. Keep faith on the positive sides of life, everything will fall in place & success will automatically follow you. Don't worry about unnecessary issues. Enjoy life! All the best.

That's why people have to complete education, get job be independent and then go for marriage etc.