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Comments for Post #C27531
Submit ConfessionGender: Female18 June 2026 at 2:21 pm
#C27531 I was in a relationship with a man whom I have always loved more deeply than he has loved me—or perhaps more than he was ever able to express. He has agreed to marry me, but in the past he said certain things and treated me in ways that deeply hurt my self-respect. Because of that, I initially called off the marriage. A few days ago, he apologized sincerely. He addressed the issues between us, and on the surface everything seemed normal again. But then I realized that he is struggling with severe depression rooted in a painful past. He has turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism and now drinks regularly, about once a week. I honestly don't know whether marrying him will bring me happiness. Yet I also don't know how to walk away from him in this condition. Perhaps I love him so much that I am willing to accept a difficult life, knowing that marriage with him may not be easy. Perhaps I am willing to sacrifice my own comfort in the hope that he heals. The truth is that my purpose in wanting to marry him is no longer just companionship—it is also the desire to help him recover, to stand beside him while he fights his battles. I know that this may be a dangerous mindset. I may fail. My life may become harder. Five or ten years down the line, if he never heals, I may end up exhausted, broken, or even give up on the relationship altogether. But right now, I cannot bring myself to abandon him. I have tried to move on. I have tried to consider arranged marriage, to meet new people, and to imagine a different future. But I have been unable to detach myself emotionally. Maybe if he were healthy and doing well, I would have found the strength to let go. But knowing that he is suffering makes it impossible for me to leave. Sometimes I wonder: how deeply can one person love another that they become willing to risk their own happiness in an attempt to save them? People often ask me why marriage matters so much to me. The answer is simple: I am not happy being single either. I am 31 years old. I am aware of my biological clock. I want a family. I want to become a mother. I want to nurture, love, and care for people. I am, by nature, a giver. Perhaps that is also the reason for my depression. Perhaps I have spent so much of my life pouring myself into others that I forgot how to protect myself. And sometimes, I wonder whether that is why my own life feels so damaged today. In between, I genuinely tried my best to move on. I opened myself to the possibility of meeting someone new, whether through an arranged marriage setup or otherwise. But the truth is, no one came into my life who could love me with the same depth with which I love, who could truly understand the intensity of my emotions, or help me heal from the situation I have been carrying for so long. Perhaps that is one of the reasons I find myself unable to walk away completely. If happiness is uncertain either way, I do not see the point of entering a purely mechanical marriage just because it appears practical or socially acceptable. At least if I choose him, I will know that I gave my heart, my effort, and my commitment wholeheartedly. I will know that I tried my best before accepting defeat. And perhaps, by then, I will have a child—a family of my own. Maybe motherhood will give me another purpose to live for, another reason to keep going even if life does not turn out exactly as I hoped. I do not know whether this is strength, hope, or simply love refusing to let go. But it is the truth of how I feel today.
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Comments (14)
Neither one of you is fit to become a parent at this stage...first - heal...both of you...independent of each other and then, if the wheels of time bring you back together, so be it and if not, you will save every one involved a whole lot of heartbreak
Women, you are not rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix him, change him, parent him, or raise him into the man he should have already chosen to become. You are not here to pour endless patience into someone who refuses to grow, or to shrink yourself to accommodate behavior that should never have been excused. Love is not meant to feel like constant work, like you’re carrying the weight of two people while calling it commitment. You deserve someone who has done their own healing, who takes responsibility for their actions, and who meets you with the same level of effort, respect, and emotional maturity that you give. Stop confusing potential with reality. Stop believing that your love alone can transform someone who isn’t willing to transform themselves. You are not a teacher, a fixer, or a savior—you are a partner. And you deserve someone who shows up ready, whole, and willing to build with you. You don’t need a project. You need a partnership. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1482825779873323&id=100044377451570&mibextid=Nif5oz
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I think you are taking a risk by your own. It is better to move and you are not born to correct everybody and it is life. In other aspects ok but marriage is a life and you need to adjust and get frustrated/disappointed on many occasions if you don't get the love from him. You will not be conferred an award of padmashri for correcting your partner.
You are trying to be like Aarohi of Ashiqui 2..and he behaves like Rahul Jaikar.. Don't be like that because reality hits different 😅
After reading the comments, i think and know that nobody helps a drowning man and helps him in their hard time.....wish men do the same when they see their partner is in a difficult situation and failing to the expectations.
Ur a good person but don't be blind ..if he is unstable in life ..u will suffer ,aur koi life me pehla ho ya doosra if u hv to sacrifice at every point ..pl step back
So tiring a reading, it's all me me me...you think too much, how can you help others?! And looks like you are a egoist, bcoz your approach is like you are a benevolent creature , who has appeared in this earthly sojourn, to raise ppl, who don't deserve you..... Tht others are available and giving you an oppurtunity to serve them, is not a thought which can come for ppl like you, Can you really serve and love , with this constant self obsession and haywire thoughts, is a big question mark ⁉️
Just stop choosing someone who doesn't love you, over yourself. Where's self love, girl?
It's just like Aashiqi 2 😉 So be ready and don't regret it later.....
donot regret the decision ...
Why did u post here? Cz u alrdy know cause n consequences. What do u expect here? There is soooooo much for u to heal, for u to build in urself but u r blind to it! And u want to save sm1 drowning? Both will drown together!!! Most importantly… 🛑 STOP!!!!! Thinking u becoming mother will suddenly change everything.. motherhood adds to responsibility and changes u in ways u wont even imagine.. A child never should come into the world with responsibility of fixing an adult’s life…its urs to fix! If anything, fix urself before u bring a child into ur mess!! Imagine being a mother and making such poor choices and setting that as an example to the child??? Do u still want ur child to suffer with that man??? This man is unable to offer himself stability! What will he offer the child? Its no Joke! U r confused urself, who r u to offer clarity to sm1 els? Its like blind leading another.. Work on self and do wats best fr u.. u r no saviour! U r not! Ppl have over come cancer with a mindset shift… this is mere attachment… so work on ur mindset thats functioning from certain identity n conditioning!!!
Not sure why but it sounded like my own story. Trust me, he is just acting so that you do not go away. Drinking is their choice to manipulate n put you on guilt. He won’t change nor will give you the love n respect which you actually deserve. Don’t be a mother India coz you will start feeling suffocated each n every single min. with him. Like you tried to move on but didn’t coz he must have contacted you in between n never let you move on completely and that’s manipulation my girl. Becoming a mother- you are thinking that will give you a ray of hope but seeing your kid suffer make u feel worst coz such men never change. Block him completely n wait for 6 months-1 year- do not entertain even a single call and you will see his real face again. Pls pls pls don’t ruin ur life girl. No sympathy for such men yaar.
Never ever help a man. It is not your job to mother him. He is a man, a provider and protecter, the moment the role reverses, egos will clash. He will hate you for it. Trying to Rescue him, you will begin to drown. This is the worst mistake of your life. You will never earn his love or respect by doing all of this. Infact the opposite will happen. You can’t change anyone let alone a man. Get therapy. Work in yourself and your career make enough money to support yourself. Stop this toxic relationship . This self sacrifices you are doing is actually not Nobel or good as you are thinking, it is degrading your own worth. This behaviour will cost you your prime years and lot of money. Will be too late when you realise. So stop now and pack up and leave.
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