← Back to confessions
Comments for Post #C27523
Submit ConfessionGender: Female18 June 2026 at 7:02 am
#C27523 F34, working in IT with an 11-month-old baby boy. This confession is about my marriage life and the pain I have been carrying for almost one year. My husband started his PhD last July when I was 7 months pregnant. Within 14 days of him joining college, I delivered my baby unexpectedly. Since it was a sudden delivery, he was not there with me. Even now, whenever I think about my delivery, it hurts that my husband was not beside me during one of the most important moments of my life. I accept the fact that he didn’t do that intentionally situation was not in favor for us After delivery, I requested him to stay with me for one week. He stayed only for two days, then went back to college for enrollment and coursework. Even after I got discharged from the hospital, there was a weekend when he didn’t come to see me and our newborn baby. Maybe these incidents look small to others, but for me they slowly created a feeling that studies were becoming his priority and we were becoming secondary. Since he was staying in a hostel, I stayed in my parents’ house until my baby turned 10 months old. During this entire period, I handled most of the baby care myself while also working full-time. I had some help from a maid during the daytime, but once work started and the maid left, everything was on me. Feeding, sleepless nights, office work, baby care, worries, planning, expenses—everything. He used to visit mostly on Sundays and sometimes even those visits got cancelled. I don’t think he understands how lonely motherhood can feel when you are carrying everything yourself. Now I am shifting to stay with him. He says he wants to bring his parents for support because he cannot take complete responsibility as he needs to focus on his PhD for the next four years. What hurts me is that I have already been balancing work, baby, home, and responsibilities for almost a year. I am not saying studies are not important, but when does our family become important? When does he start sharing the responsibility instead of postponing it? His answer is always that after his studies, life will be better, salary will be better, and we can live happily. But I feel like we are sacrificing our present for a future that keeps getting pushed ahead. Another thing that hurts me is that whenever we have arguments, personal discussions somehow reach family members. Many times I feel like he presents himself as the victim and I become the bad person. Then everyone advises me, questions me, or asks me to adjust. No one ask how I am feeling. I am not claiming that I am perfect. I fight, argue, get angry, and sometimes shout. I know I have my flaws. But beneath all of that, what I was expecting from marriage was love, partnership, emotional support, and feeling like I matter. One thing I never completely recovered from was finding out after marriage that he was still looking at other marriage profiles until one week before our wedding. We were already emotionally attached and close at that time. Maybe others will say it happened before marriage and I should move on, but it left a wound that never fully healed because my emotions were fully with him on that time Most of the time I don’t feel like a priority. He may say I am, but I never felt it through actions. Usually decisions are taken by him, and in the end things happen according to what he wants. Sometimes I feel like he still sees himself as a bachelor. Even for small things, I don’t feel that sense of “we are a family.” His mother’s opinions carry a lot of weight, and whenever I point out something that hurt me, it feels like my concerns are dismissed immediately.He will understand everything only if she says The most tiring part is that after every fight, I am usually the one who goes back and starts the conversation. If I don’t, silence continues. After years of this, I am exhausted. Nowadays I have started questioning myself. Am I really the problem? Am I expecting too much? Am I unfit for marriage? Or am I simply hurt because I have been carrying too much responsibility and too many emotions alone? For the sake of my son, I want peace. I don’t want him growing up seeing constant arguments, irritation, and tension. I am trying to learn how to ignore things, stop reacting to every hurt, and go on mute. But honestly, I don’t know whether that is strength, compromise, or just emotional exhaustion. I just want to know if anyone has gone through something similar. How do you find peace when you feel unseen, unheard, and emotionally tired for so long?
👍15
😢6
Sponsored
Comments (17)
Loads of luv to u girl..can relate to every word.gone through all this..The same questions, the same worries,the same loneliness..exhaustion at peak. He will come around i promise but might be In a timeline when u will be through and his presence won't matter.Atleast that was the case with me. Tables do turn darling. Most men don't show up until later or even never.That is how screwed up the fraternity is..But do not give up on ya mental health.Things will eventually start clearing n u all shall be a happy family..Silence is darn precious...Just hold on a lil longer n a tad bit tighter.Nothing is forever..U r a sweetheart n heading for a sparkling future🧡🧡🧡🧡
Every woman goes through the same .. If your husband was not there during the delivery he choose his PhD over you .. That's fine .. He has worked hard to reach this point of doing PhD .. So first get yourself a good check up for your mood swings .. These happen post partum hormonal swings .
Halka Mon – Your Safe Space To Be Heard
yes many faced similar to this during those times.But handling it is tough as we are all humans just forget and forgive holding onto it never helps just go with the flow.. once baby grows everyone will change
Definitely you are not all that matured, so keep learning, growing, and life can be mastered slowly but inevitably Next , definitely there is lot of stress which got pilled up, accumulated frustration and almost pre-depression (post partum a part of it)....now this only you can help yourself....don't take much stress at all, whatever causes stress , just don't react to it immdtly. Lastly, good if his parents join you, that will bring maturity to whole house, they are your parents too, how can that not lessen stress??!! Baby will hv a great time with them around too.....let the husband "go to teell lagane"?! If he sees such a joyous mother, baby, family, he will catch the baby fever too🫠
Looks like he isn’t invested in the marriage as you are, things work only when both want it to work also looks like he’s taken the relationship for granted. You haven’t mentioned how affectionate or caring he is towards you and the child. If he is constantly checking on you even being distant, shows worry about not being available then it can be assumed that it’s because of phd that he’s been unavailable but reading throughout it’s important that you must set your clear expectations in front of him of your marriage and how to make it work. His parents living with you can escalate the matters so set some boundaries before itself.
Marriage is scary what if she
Talk to him clearly and don't be harsh on him. Care for him. He will realize your importance. I have seen many couples facing this issue when one of them is doing a PhD. It's not unusual. Care and communication can resolve this. Belive me.
Hi dear sweetest mom, Don't think too much. I understand because I also became a father last year. Everyone has their own responsibilities, and I understand what you want most at this time, which is completely okay. But if you are going to stay with him, then that's okay for both of you. As a mother, you are the most important person in your baby's development and growth. So, try not to worry about these small things. Live your life to the fullest with this precious gift from God. If his family comes to stay with you, that's good too—you will get some time for yourself. It's also good for children to grow up around multiple family members. We all know that after some time, taking care of children can make us tired, and sometimes we may behave differently. In those moments, you'll see how helpful parents and family can be. And for grandparents, getting to spend time with their grandson is a blessing. Let them enjoy these precious moments with him for the rest of their lives. It will make them very happy too. ❤️
I was once in your shoes, but after 7 years I decided to leave it. After all those years, I realized that I'm actually better without him. He has no help in my life. He was just an emotional burden to me that's why I decided to just leave.
🎉 ThirtyFound ab officially LIVE hai! 🚀 Agar aap 30+ ho aur meaningful, serious aur long-term relationship ki talaash mein ho, toh ThirtyFound aapke liye bana hai. ✨ Verified Profiles ✨ Privacy First ✨ Smart Matching ✨ Genuine Connections 🎁 Special Launch Offer: Abhi hum Trial Phase mein hain aur limited time ke liye saari premium features FREE hain! Yeh perfect time hai apna profile create karne ka aur meaningful connections explore karne ka. Join now and be among our early members. ❤️ 🔗 Link in Bio #ThirtyFound #NowLive #MeaningfulConnections #30PlusDating #Matrimonial #FindYourPartner #SeriousRelationships #LoveAfter30 #IndiaMatrimony #StartupLaunch
Hi dear, I am a new mother of 4 months old twin baby boys. I am also a working woman, and I am also facing the same issues. Post delivery I am also at my home town with my mother and husband who is totally indifferent in this situation, not even sending medical help, financial support or consultation regarding nanny's etc. We didn't have any fight both of us along with babies Came here. I think either men come under pressure due to responsibilities and feel like running away. MIL's in most cases doesn't help in the matter rather aggravate the situation. I have accepted that I will struggle and slog like this for the next 5 years and once I come out of this phase I will never forgive anyone who have shown me back now.
I think based on your sharing. I feel he may not be intersted in marriage forced in to .probably by mother as much u are saying she has final say that possible. I feel he using studies to detach from you. It likely the case. You should openly talk to him. For father not involving one bit is strange.
Tbh he is doing it on purpose to escape from all this, he is pushing you to a limit where you feel frustrated and ask for divorce , then he wnt budge and then project your name that you asked for it and i did what you said .... There is something darker deep in..
What exactly are you getting from this marriage? Is he atleast paying for baby expenses? Looks like you are already a 'single mother'?
Enegyum pogamal dhinam veetule nee Venum 🤣🤣🤣
Postpartum 😔😔
He earning for you and kid, so adjust girl